Love and Hate
by embracing
Summary: We all know the story. There is a guy, who is blinded by pride. And there is a girl, who is blinded by prejudice. But what if the tables were turned? There is a fine line between love and hate. P
1. Prologue

**Summary: **There was a girl, and there was a boy. They hated each other, and were given false impressions by those surrounding them. The boy overcame his pride, and fell in love with the girl. But she was blinded by pride and prejudice. And finally, after a truth was revealed, it all ends with a kiss. But what if that was all muddled up? There is a fine line between love and hate, or so they say.

**A/N: **So this feels really weird, me posting this. It's completely fretful because I'm re-writing a classic here, and I could offend many people by doing an absolutely shocking job, which hopefully I won't do.

This is completely out of the blue. I thought of it on a train in Japan, and I actually went along with it. I haven't read any stories like this, but on a site as big as fanfiction, there probably is one. So please review and tell me if you like it. If I don't get any reviews, I guess I'll just delete the story.

**Prologue**

**Vee**

I look around the place that I have no history. The place that is suppose to be my home for next two months.

Exchange. The word now sounds odd in my mouth. It hadn't felt that way six months ago when I had filled out the application forms to go to Australia. I mean, it wouldn't be that different. They spoke English, I spoke English.

But as soon as I stepped off the plane, I felt immediately disorientated. And it wasn't from the hours of flying. It was because it was strange to have everyone talking just like me, in a place that was completely foreign.

Cate had come running towards me laughing, giving me an earful of a hug.

'Hi,' she had said breathlessly in that Australian accent, 'I'm Cate. Oh! It's so fun to finally meet you. I feel like I've known you for forever!'

I laughed with her, because her bubbly chatter was contagious, and it felt good to be in safe hands in this foreign place.

I have to say that I was glad not to be isolated in the outback that I once wished to go. Sydney was closer to home, and it was easier to adjust.

She had gone to boarding school like me, but her parents had taken her out at the end of term. She told me that the holidays had started a week ago, and that it was a great time for me to arrive. According to her, the public schools had just gotten off as well, so now all the kids were home and there would be parties raiding through the weeks.

I found myself only half listening to the conversation while I looked hungrily out the window. It was so dry, and the skies so blue. The humidity was shocking. For an English girl like me, the hot sun felt uncomfortable.

But now I stand beside her, looking up at the house that I have arrived at. The house that is completely unfamiliar in many ways, but so similar too.

'It's a federation house,' Cate says, explaining it's old-fashioned English sense. It's huge compared to the other houses surrounding it. There is a balcony, leading to the front door where there is a sign above the doorbell reading "St Jude". She explains that we're in an Italian based suburb called Haberfield that is famous for it's federation houses.

I take in the stained glass, wooden door as Cate rummages through her bag collecting her key.

'Mum and Dad are really sorry they couldn't make it,' Cate says fitting the key into the door, 'but they had to work. They don't get as much time off as us during Christmas holidays.'

The door opens as she pushes lightly against me, and I feel cool air seep onto my body. I'm thankful for the cold, I hadn't noticed how hot I really was, even wearing my lightest summer dress.

We step inside and I have no idea what to look at. It's like when you first visit your friend's house, and there are hundreds of pictures you haven't seen hanging on the wall, and hundreds of rooms to take in.

I stare overwhelmed at Cate for a moment, and she either reads my look of exhaustion and heat, or she feels exactly the same way as me. She glances at my dress and takes in the weight and the cut.

'We need to get you some more clothes,' she says, and I have to agree with her.

'Look, do you want to go for a swim? Or eat? Or even sleep? You must be pretty jetlagged. I won't bother giving you the tour or anything, we can do that later.' She looks over at me breathless.

'A swim would be good,' I reply, because in this heat, I don't really think I'll sleep, 'But I don't have a costume.'

Cate just smiles and indicates for me to follow. This would be interesting.

**Nate**

I lie on my bed, the fan blowing away, aimed at my head. My body's completely sticky from sweat and chlorine from the swim I had earlier in the day. I haven't changed out of my swimmers, and putting on a shirt seems out of the question.

I sigh and turn over to open the window; maybe a cool breeze is blowing. No such luck, a fierce westly, dry and hot, escapes into the room that I have tried to make cool since I got home for the holidays yesterday.

First day off and what do you know? Classic Christmas spirit starting with a forty degree day. Just my luck.

James walks into the room. His blond hair is everywhere from his swim, and he looks a bit dazed from the heat. Taking a look at him, I have no idea what I look like.

'Hey man. Guess what? Cate's back, for good this time. Apparently she's got an exchange student too. What do you think of that?'

James has had this crush on Cate since her family had moved into the mansion next door in year seven. She had gone to boarding school though, and during the holidays nothing really happened with the relationship. They didn't really get to know each other very well. I assume that it was because both their personalities were so similar, and neither of them wanted to make the first move.

'I think, that this means Dad will want us to go over there and say "welcome to the land of Oz!"'

James grimaces and pulls the fan nob so it switches to moving left to right. He lies down on the cool floorboards.

'Do you really think he'll make us do that?' James asks hesitantly.

'That or he'll make mum bake a cake and go over there herself, you know what he's like.'

We both knew what he was like. For sure. We had lived with him our whole lives. My father was pushing us to get girlfriends at every opportunity. He liked to know that his boys would be getting some, or something to that affect from what I can tell. But he made it very difficult when he was always surrounding us with his lame jokes, embarrassing us.

James is the one that gets it the most though. He is the pretty boy of the family, but doesn't have a personality to match. He is shy, and dad's always pushing him to go out there and give it a go.

I have no idea why mum married him. Sometimes I think it was for his looks, though they faded away with age. Other times, I think it's because she really loves him. You see this proud look in her eye when he's done something well.

Liam comes bouncing into the room.

'You have to come hear this!' Tim exclaims, not far behind him.

'There is the hottest chick staying next door with Cate. She's English too,' Liam pants as though he's just run to tell us, which I realise that he actually has done.

'Dad and mum are talking about it in the kitchen. He's trying to convince her to bake a cake,' Tim continues running out the door, Liam following him.

I roll my eyes and look at James; this was going to be awkward. Liam was too much like dad to actually care whether he was embarrassing himself, and Tim just went with the flow.

'Are you coming?' Liam demands popping his head round the door. James and I groan and slowly get up.

We pass Matt's room and hear him playing hard rock. I see him on his bed, wearing black jeans and gothic makeup that's almost hidden by his recently died black hair.

I sigh. Matt's mourning the loss of the world. He's stopped eating everything and now lives on what his own veggie garden supplies him with, which isn't much.

James and I slowly make our way down to the kitchen, Tim and Liam bounding in front of us.

'A cake, George? I mean really they're having a party, can't they eat their cake then?'

We hear the sound of mum's voice waft up the stairs. I smile, mum is always our saviour.

'They're having a party?' I enter the room as dad says these words and feel absolutely horrified that he looks so excited.

'You know what?' Liam asks, I mentally tell him to shut his mouth. He doesn't seem to hear me though. 'I think we should anyway. People never remember other people at parties.'

I groan and dad looks at James then me.

'You two go and introduce yourselves.'

Then he leaves before Tim and Liam override him with their constant complaints.

Five minutes later we're walking out our front door, shirts back on, and James is fretting about what we're going to say.

'Well, we'll say. Hey heard you were home for good. And who's this? An exchange student? Welcome to the Land of Oz!'

This visit is nothing to me except for the fact that it gets me away from the stinking house. We walk up the stairs as James nods his head enthusiastically. I'm not quite sure he got that I as being sarcastic. I ring the doorbell after James stands for a minute looking at it. We hear running footsteps and Cate opens the door, laughing, very wet, a girl following her.

'Oh hi guys!' Cate exclaims. She and James stare at each other for a little while, completely absorbed. I look at the other girl. I can't help but think that she and Cate are complete opposites. Cate is fair, with long blond hair, and blue eyes. But this girl is entirely different. Her hair is long too, but a dark brown, falling in waves even though they are wet. Her eyes are dark, but I notice that they are green, not brown as I suspected. She has a slight smile on her face, but looks tired around her eyes. I can't help but think that Liam is right, she is pretty gorgeous.

She looks at James then Cate and nods, smiling a little. She doesn't glance at me before nudging Cate with her elbow. Cate snaps out of her trance and looks over at her. She whispers hurriedly in her ear, Cate nodding the whole while.

'Yeah sure,' she says and the girl hurries off.

'Sorry about that,' Cate says, finally having recovered, 'she's really jetlagged.'

I look quizzically at her as James smiles shyly.

'Who is she?' I ask bluntly.

'Oh!' Cate says in surprise, maybe she wasn't really recovered. 'Her name's Vee, an exchange student from England, she's staying for two months. We're taking her to the Jonson's. They're holding a welcoming party tonight. You should come, if you want.'

The Jonson's were down the street from us all. Their eldest son, Chris was my best mate. His mum was almost as much of a gossip as my father, and the two got a long well. She would be positively beaming at the fact she got dibs in a party. I nod enthusiastically about the party for James' sake.

'We heard that you're back for good,' the man himself mutters. Cate blushes and looks at the floor.

'Yeah, well, I just wasn't getting as much out of it as I could anywhere else, you know? I didn't feel like I was settling either.'

We both nod.

'Well, we just really came over to say hi, and welcome home,' I say wrapping up. I think James is currently drooling.

'Sure,' Cate says with a smile. 'Hope you have a good day, and I'll see you tonight, right?'

James grins goofily, and nods an excited yes. Cate laughs, exclaiming, 'great,' before saying goodbye and closing the door.

'So Jamie boy, are we going to have to plan out what you're going to wear?' I tease. He hits me and runs back to the house, clicking his heels as he goes.


	2. The Party

**A/N:** I'd just like to officially say: YOU GUYS ROCK! Seriously. I love you more than my little cactus beside me, and that's saying something. I seriously hope that this is up to all your expectations, especially the ones that Auriela unconsciously put on me.

**The Party**

**Vee**

The door swings open to reveal a party pumping behind a hallway filled with drinking teenagers.

'Hey Cate,' I hear the guy who opened the door greet us. 'Cedric,' he says, nodding to Cate's brother who I had met only an hour ago. I smile at the guy. He's fairly tall, and in his mid twenties, I wonder what he's doing at a party like this.

'Chris,' Cate gushes, 'This is Vee.'

I understand who he is now. He's the eldest son of the Jonson's, the ones who are holding this party for me. Cate had filled me in on the way here. He seems nice.

He leads us through the hallway, and I feel everyone's eyes on me. If it hadn't been for Cate holding my hand tightly, I would've felt extremely abandoned.

As soon as we enter the living room where everyone is dancing, everything stops. I know for sure that everyone is staring at me. Even the music seems to stop, or maybe only in my ears.

Chris just smiles, and leans over to lead us to the other end of the room where people are chatting. I look around and see stairs leading to another dining room, where all the parents seem to have situated themselves.

People start dancing again, and the music returns, blaring loudly from the speakers. I see Chris lean over to say something in Cate's ear. She blushes and nods, saying something back.

I feel completely and utterly dirty. The dirty feeling you get when you feel as though there's something wrong with you, because everyone's avoiding you, or looking at you like you are some sort of robot.

Cedric leans against the wall, smirking to himself. I'm not quite sure what to think of him yet. At the moment, he just seems stuck up with his ability to overrule people using his knowledge. Not something I'd find very attractive, but he also seems to think that the ladies love him. Maybe in Australia.

The song ends and people clap the dancers off while everyone relaxes. Chris and two guys walk over to us, one grinning from ear to ear while the other whispers in his ear. I recognise the guys with Chris as the two we met this afternoon. Straight away I'd known that he was the guy Cate had been talking about.

I stand only briefly including myself in the conversation. I feel a bit out of it. Either the jetlag, or I'm coming down with something. It's making me feel as though every so often the ground jolts out of its senses. I smile every so often, and soon Cate gets whisked off for a dance. I knew that she was being modest when she said that guys were never interested in her.

I lean against the wall, and pretend to listen to Cedric as he goes on about the politics of Australia. This was going to be a long night.

**Nate**

I stare at Liam in shock, he did not just do that.

But he had.

Completely embarrassed me in ways I didn't seem possible. Galumphing around in a way that he thought was an attractive manner of dancing, and sticking his tongue down the throats of his partners. The only thing that scared me most was that Tim wasn't that far behind him.

They had made a bet to see how many girls they could kiss. Really, I didn't want to know. I stand with James now, on the edge of the dancers only five minutes after we've arrived. Chris leaves us for a second as the bell rings, to be the host that he is.

The people stop dancing as everyone turns and stares at the people entering the room. James and I unintentionally look over the top of people's heads to see them arrive. It's Cate, Vee, and of course, Cate's oh so lovely brother Cedric.

'What her name again?' I hear Jessica, a girl in my year, whisper to her friend Clarice.

'Vee, it's short for something. An exchange student, would you believe? In Haberfield of all places.'

'The poor girl looks miserable,' Jessica says. I have to agree with her. She looks paler that she did today, only brightened by the red lipstick that is unsmiling. Apart from that though, she looked great.

'Miserable she may be, but not poor. She came on exchange, babe. That doesn't cost nothing. Apparently she came with a really expensive program too, so she could make sure that she was well looked after.'

'I guess so. But you'd want to make sure that you were, coming from the other side of the world.'

I tune out of their conversation as the dancers start dancing again. I look over at James, who is pretending not to look at Cate. Chris comes over and says that we have to come over and help him, exclaiming that otherwise, Cedric will drown him with his arrogance. We laugh as we walk over. I lean over to whisper in James' ear.

'Smile at Miss Cate. Smile. Smile at Miss Cate,' he laughs and starts grinning. Not quite what I was after, but it seems to do the job. Soon they are on the dance floor.

People come and go, joining in the conversation. Vee barely says a word, only smiles now and then, looking about as though she wished she could be somewhere else.

'Do you like to dance?' I ask her when it is only the two of us.

'Not at the moment,' she replies quite haughtily. I know that it's wrong to make first impressions, but at least I know to trust my instincts. I always thought that she acted superior to everyone around her.

Someone puts on an old mix of ABBA, the Beatles, and other dance songs like the Macarena. I ask Jessica to do the chicken dance, and have a fun dancing around doing the actions. Someone eventually puts on Grease, and since most of the people go to our school, we do the dances from our musical we held last year.

It's really amusing and hilarious seeing everyone do crazy dances getting really into it. But there's only one black hole. Vee is standing at the side, staring at the people in the middle, like a gloomy ship on a sea of colours. Cedric is beside her, but he doesn't really stand out as much as she does. Maybe it's because everyone already knows him, but then, maybe in her own small way Vee draws attention to herself.

I see Matt rarely. He just hangs at the corner noticed only but those like him. Grease stops and everyone crowds off the dance floor for a drink. Cate leaves James for a moment or two, but other girls soon bite him up.

I think back to the conversation we had before we left.

'Now, if every girl at the party does not leave in love with you, then I am no judge whatsoever of beauty,' I had said when he walked into the room, making him blush.

'Or girls,' he retorted.

'Shucks,' I replied, pretending to be bashful.

I walk over to Chris who seems to be free of anyone.

'Chris,' I say.

'Nate,' he replies with a grin.

'It's too hot in here, will the stairs be cooler?' I ask.

He nods and we slowly make our way through the crowds up the stairs. We sit halfway down, letting the cool air from the window above the staircase breath down on us.

'Come,' we hear Cate voice trail up the stairs, 'dance.'

'Sorry Cate, but you have the most handsome guy under your wing,' Vee replies. I grin, and Chris laughs.

'He is gorgeous isn't he?' Cate sighs. Well at least we knew that the feelings aren't unrequited. Vee laughs at Cate.

'But his brother is pretty good looking too Vee. And it's not like it ever adds up to anything. We aren't asking you to marry anyone,' Cate reasons.

Chris looks over at me smirking. I punch him in the arm.

'Perfectly reasonable, probably. But just not my type.'

'Oh and you're type is drop dead gorgeous,' Cate laughs.

'But of course. You'd better run off now, before your boy gets swallowed by girls.'

I feel my face change from laughter to horror. Bitch.

'Hey,' Chris says, bringing me back. He's looking at me concerned. 'Just think of it like this, if she liked you. You'd have to talk to her.'

I laugh, Chris always knows how to make me feel better. Earlier we had both agreed that she was a lot like Cedric.

'I'm pretty sure I wouldn't dance with her anyway, even if I was drop dead gorgeous.'

Chris laughs and we get up to dance again as someone puts on another mix.

**Vee**

Someone jumps behind me and covers their hands over my eyes.

'What's this?' Cate says, uncovering my eyes. 'Not having fun at your own party?'

I laugh.

'No, not at all. I'm just so jet lagged I can barely move. Would you be getting up and dancing when everyone's telling you it's only eleven, when you're body was thinking it was twelve the next day.'

'Shouldn't you revived if it's the middle of the day?'

'Not when I haven't slept that night.'

'Ah,' Cate says. 'Come, dance.' I laugh at her ignoring what I just said. I decide to play along though, just to make her happy.

'Sorry Cate, but you have the most handsome guy under your wing,' I say.

'He is gorgeous isn't he?' Cate sighs. I laugh at her. She looks like a lovesick puppy.

'But his brother is pretty good looking too Vee,' she continues, 'And it's not like it ever adds up to anything. We aren't asking you to marry anyone.'

I make a face and hold my hand out like I've got a cup of tea.

'Perfectly reasonable, probably. But just not my type,' I say poshly, exaggerating my accent. I take a sip of the tea.

'Oh and you're type is drop dead gorgeous,' Cate laughs.

'But of course,' I exclaim before dropping the act. 'You'd better run off now, before your boy gets swallowed by girls.'

Cate look worried for a second, before smiling at me and going to James. I laugh silently to myself as the music start up and everyone starts dancing again. What was with these people. It was as if they could just go and go and go.

By twelve, half the people are drunk enough to start playing the chicken game and the uncomfortable game. It's then that the parents decide to come down and break it up. The music stops and more than half the crowd swarm out the front door. James and Nate's parents come over with the Jonson's to join us where we have become a tight circle of Cedric, Cate, James, Nates, Chris and I.

George, Nate's father, has to be the oddest man I have ever met. The conversation somehow leads to James, and if anything, George embarrasses him to no extent.

'No, James is the most handsome out of our boys. When he was just twelve a girl started sending him songs that she had written herself!'

James turns bright red at the statement.

'And it absolutely killed it. Whoever thought that music would injure romance?' Nate says, saving James from any further embarrassment.

'I think music is of much importance in romance,' I say. Nate looks at me, the laughter slowly dying from his face, although a little twinkle in his eyes.

'Yes, maybe in a dreamers world. But I'm sure a bad love song would kill anything romantic.'

'So what do you think is better than music?'

'Dancing. Even if your partner is only reasonable.'

He smirks to himself, and then exclaims that he'll grab his coat then be off.

I stare at his back as he walks away, thinking only of how he so readily gives his opinion, and how bright his eyes twinkle.

**Acknowledgements: **A huge hug and chocolates to Leigh A. Sumpter, non-damsel, islington bus no. 199, Auriela, Lia, MagentaLee, cocoapuffaddict, Beth, and Sobee1982.


	3. Sickness

**A/N: **LOVE YOU ALL! Seriously. So I've decided to use my writers license, and stuff up the geography so I could put one of my favourite places in Australia in Sydney. Roso's is an actual beach about a four hour drive from Sydney, but I really needed a place like it for Netherfield. Sure, it's a bit extended, but I like it. hope you enjoy!

**Sickness**

**Nate**

I try to block out the sounds of my father continuously drone on about how exciting it was that James got to dance with Cate so often. And how it was so disappointing that Vee wasn't any nicer. In fact, she is a proud, rude, unattractive girl. And did you hear than she did not dance a single dance. And that she shunted Nate.

My dad's voice haunts me. Vee was gorgeous when dad first found out about her (and her fortune) but is now ugly in his eyes.

I look at the ceiling. It's plain white, and something to do with the vast pureness of its colour always makes me feel calmer in this bizarre family.

I fling the sheet off me and decide to get out of bed. I lie for a couple of moments contemplating my choice, before compromising that a lie in for about twenty minutes wouldn't hurt. I lean over and knock on the wall four times, to see if James is awake. I hear a muffled groan through the door and a rustle of sheets. Two knocks come in reply, meaning piss off and let me sleep. I smirk.

I look over at my clock and see it read nine thirty. Not that late I guess, once I woke up at three in the afternoon. That was bad. I think back to last night at the party. It had been completely and utterly fun, but at the same time disappointing.

James comes stumbling into my room.

'Why did you wake me up?' he says, which really comes out as: wh d'ja wk (grunt) up. I smirk as he ruffles a hand through his hair and sits down at the computer that we share. It is an old apple. I love it, but James hates it due to the fact that it had lost all of his files when he hadn't saved them.

'Hey,' he says, after shaking his head to wake himself up a little. 'I've got an email from Cedric. He says that he's going to the concert on Boxing Day at Roso Cove, with all the great bands. And he's got a spare ticket. We'll be staying in their beach house. Shit, isn't that great?' I hear his voice slowly grow with excitement. 'Oh, Cate's not coming up. That's why they've got a spare ticket. She has to look after Vee. They'll be coming up the day after I leave.' His voice loses its excitement, and it almost makes me want to punch Cedric. Then again, I always want to punch Cedric.

'Should I still go? I mean, Cedric's a bit much to handle,' he asks me hesitantly.

'Look, man, you should definitely go. It's worth it. Think of all the great bands! Just enjoy the music.' I say to lift his hopes. He grins, but there's still disappointment in his eyes.

'Yeah, it'll be fun.'

Dad's horrified at the thought that Cate won't be going with them.

'We'll have to do something about that,' he says, with a weird look in his eye.

Roso's is a place about thirty-five minutes away, if you're riding a bike. It's next to the coast, and has a huge clean beach. All the hippies in Sydney are situated there, and they hate having a dirty beach. There are huge rolling hills around the beach, and shacks where unknown bands play all the time.

Roso's got really famous though, when it began is Boxing Day special with popular bands. They set up stages on the hills, and people could come in at any time of the day, but only if they had a ticket.

It was a mad time to be there, because Roso's would almost be popping at the seams. We went down there for the Christmas holidays one year, and I remember that Matt felt claustrophobic with all the people.

Christmas this year passes by with no hitches, except for speeding around shopping malls on Christmas Eve, doing last minute pick ups. We visit the family, and open presents like we do every year. Christmas never loses its special spark, even when we all know that Santa doesn't come down the chimney.

We laugh, Matt doesn't. Instead he gives the family a talk of what they do to cows to get them on our plates. Needless to say, none of us are very hungry when he's done.

And then there's today. Boxing day. The anti-climax of Christmas, the relaxing day, has decided to be even kinder, by giving us some rain and wind to cool our steaming bodies from the past forty degree days. James packs, with our father close to his heels. Matt locks himself in his room, after not receiving his present of a mode of transport a long way away from us, so he can _live_ a long way away from us. Can't blame him really.

Dad leaves James alone after I tell him to, and instead he and Liam and Tim talk about the gossip, while mum just sits back in her study, reading the book that we got her.

But now it's different. There are three of us staring at dad like he's the biggest idiot in the world.

'You want James to ride his bike over to _Roso's _in _this _weather?' I ask him.

'I'm insisting. We don't have enough money for petrol, and we're running low.'

James looks at dad, then mum. Mum was looking at her husband exasperatedly and for a moment, I think that she might drive James herself.

'I'm sorry sweet,' she says to James, coming over and giving him a hug, 'but you'll have to ride over. We really are running low.' You can tell by her voice how sorry she is. Not only for the fact that she's making James ride over, but because we don't have enough money. Mum's always felt sorry for the poor support we have. She and dad work really hard to give us the living they want us to have, but with five kids, it's really hard.

James just smiles like the soft person he is, and hugs mum tighter.

'Don't worry mum, I have to get some sort of exercise in this weather.'

Then he heads off to get his bag. That's the thing I admire most about my brother. I would have kicked and screamed, and made a huge fuss over nothing that I could change. But he just takes it sensibly, and does what he has to do.

So he rides off down the road wearing a raincoat over his bag.

'You realise that you'll have to take the blame if he gets killed by a car.'

My father sighs and looks at me.

'That's the whole excitement of it, isn't it?' He turns and leaves me, and I don't bother pondering his odd choice of words. I've already spent years of my life doing that.

I wake at five the next morning with a jolt. It's then I hear the splash of water. I frown and roll out of bed, looking out the widow. It's there that I see Vee swimming in Cate's pool. Why would she be up at five in the morning? The sun is barely awake, so why would she? It hits my poor little half asleep head that she might still be jetlagged, so I don't think anything by it.

At eight I get an email from James. I read it and shake my head, before going out to pour guilt onto my father.

'It's nothing at all he says, just a headache, a fever, and whooping cough. He said that it was the surf they had yesterday after the concert that did it.'

I glare at dad who distractedly cooks lunch. Mum pops her head around the corner.

'Well, if James dies, we will all know the affect of you're matchmaking skills.'

Dad chuckles, tutting her.

'Have you ever died of the flu?' he asks. Mum laughs. I smirk. It's time like these when I think that my father could be human. I'm always harsh on him, and at times like this, I wonder if thinking of him in that way makes me think that I'm normal. Or something to that effect.

I get up suddenly.

'Where are you going?' he sighs almost.

'To see my dying brother,' I reply, smirking as he looks astounded at me. Mum just nods and smiles.

'It'll be a good walk from here, or do you want to take your bike as well?' she asks.

'I'll run,' I reply.

And then I leave.

The air is still cold, and the ground still wet, the result being muddy shoes and ankles. I plug my ipod in, and listen to it on shuffle, skipping songs once it chooses Talking Heads one too many times.

It's gorgeous. I do the run often, mainly because it's a good work out, and the hills near the beach gives a good burn on the quads. I love when you get to the turn off of Roso's. It's where the scenery changes from roads and buildings, to trees and dirt tracks. Classic Australian bush surrounds you; in spring you can smell the wattle and hear the birds.

I arrive at Roso's, the bushland opening out to the rolling hills, and open trees. From the top of each hill, you get a glimpse of the packed beach houses next to the sea. I go to the cute little purple house that James described as their beach house. I smirk at the newly renovated shack compared to the wooden traditional ones beside it. Sure it is nice, but the huge purple home looks really out of place.

I take a deep breath and knock on the door, knowing that these next couple of hours will be the hardest of my life. I'm not usually an aggressive person I swear, but when it comes to Cedric… well lets just say that even parents have to fight the urge to slap him.

**Vee**

I run, hard and fast. The hills roll around me, and there is silence apart from the swish of the wind in the grass leaves, and my panting breath. I glance behind me and see the silhouette closer than it was when I last looked, that only makes me run harder. The rolling hills change from a glamorous green, to a deep red, and it seems that I am no longer moving, but the hills.

With a scream I make it to the end. The end of all the rolling hills, to a crashing cliff, with dangerous rocks after the fall. I glance behind me with fear, and see triumph sprawled all over my captors face. I squint, trying to make out who it is.

It steps foreword, and starts cackling madly, it's face hanging to become one that's recognisable. I swear and look for means of escape as words tumble from her mouth.

'She loved me more. She couldn't fight it because you weren't there to help her through it. He almost died too didn't he? What, and now you've escaped, just so you can run away from the guilt that you place on yourself.'

I scream again, falling to the floor as her words haunt me. Her face changes shape again and with horror I realise who it is.

'Why didn't you come? Why weren't you there? You could of saved me from those years in hospital. Why do I always have to look after you?' His voice, that was always so strong and clear has reduced to what it was after his hospitalisation.

I rock backwards and forewords, tears streaking down my face. But one more the face changes, into one that I wished with all my life that I would never see again.

'Get up,' he demands, with that tone that I now reefer to as his 'councillor' voice. I slowly stand to my feet as his face softens and regret passes over his eyes.

Tears spring from my eyes because I know what's going to happen next.

'I'm sorry Vida, but she's passed away. The cancer got into her chest bone, and from there it slowly took over her body,' but I'm not listening anymore, I can't listen. I'm falling, towards the dangerous rocks that didn't look inviting until now. As I'm about to hit them, everything goes black.

--------

I wake with a start, cold sweat dripping from my body. I slam my head angrily back onto my pillow. I thought this had stopped. These nightmares. I told myself every day that I had gotten over this, this stupid thing that I did. Fearing sleep because of the dreams. Anxiety running rapidly through my body, making it impossible for me to get to sleep in anyway, and then resulting in a short power nap, where the dreams occurred anyway.

It had gone away for a while, but for the first couple of nights that I've been in Australia, they've come back. I hope it's just the time difference that's brought it back, and nothing too serious. In a foreign place I don't want to go through what I almost did last year. That would be too hard when I am so far from home.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I don't want to go down that path now, I need to think of something else. I glance over at my clock. 4:37, it reads.

I sigh and lie back down. At least it was better than last night, I woke at one and couldn't get back to sleep.

The sun sleepily wakes up for the day, shining only a little way, as though regretting letting its rays out in the first place. I glance over to my chair and see the swimming costume that Cate leant me yesterday hanging on the back, waiting to get dry. I smile to myself and slip it on before quietly crawling out the house trying not to wake anyone.

I dive into the water, loving the feel of it on my skin, the water ruffling through my hair. Everything. To feel clean, away from the dirtiness I've felt while I've been here.

The day goes past slowly, another calming day after the extremity of Christmas. Sometime though, maybe only morning, we get a call from Cedric. I answer, something that I would never have done, but Cate called for me to.

'Hello?' I say.

'Vee,' Cedric says, sounding a little breathless.

'Oh, hi Cedric.' Cedric wasn't really very high in my books. He sort of throws himself on you, and that's not a very nice feeling.

'Look, I'd hate to do this normally, but this has to be done. James is sick. Like really sick. He doesn't want to go to the doctor, because he doesn't think it's that bad. I need some help though. Could you guys come down a bit early?'

I smile at his helplessness, taking a single moment to embrace it before calling Cate.

'She says it's fine Cedric, we'll be there soon.'

I hang up before watching Cate (currently rushing about in a hurry), leaning back into my chair and sighing. This was going to be a long day.

**Nate**

'Come on in,' Cate gushes as she answers the door, not looking at all surprised that I am here.

I enter a study where both Cedric and Vee and happily drinking tea. When she sees me, Vee stands abruptly.

'Nate,' she says obviously surprised.

'My god, did you run here?' Cedric asks. I smile at his face, we all know that Cedric has no guts.

'Yes,' I reply, gritting my teeth as he smirks. I take a deep breath and remind myself again not to punch him.

'My brother?' I ask Vee, who is still standing.

'Oh, yes.' She says looking flustered.

'He's in the bedroom upstairs,' Cate finishes off, smiling at me.

I excuse myself and quickly run up to his room. There I find him, lying on his stomach, a pillow over his head. He doesn't make a sound as I come into the room.

'James,' I sigh. He immediately groans, and rolls over.

'My god I missed you,' he says, but it practically comes out as a croak.

'They're all being so nice to me, and I feel like the biggest burden.'

He tries to sit, but instead it results in a coughing fit.

'You're fine are you?' I say with a smirk. He just punches me weakly in the arm. I get him a glass of water, and ask when he last had pain killers.

'It's better now Cate is here. Cedric had no idea.' He rests back a little, his voice slightly coated with the water.

'Yes, and you certainly aren't a burden to her.'

Just as I say the words, there's a knock on the door. I look pointedly at James before calling for them to come in. As Cate walks through the door, I can't help but think that I am a long way from home, with people I barely know.

**Acknowledgements: **Thanks to The Lark Ascending, Golden Eyes Silver Fangs, non-damsel, fixitman, k8bob8, Sophie, islington bus no. 199, Sobee1982, and of course, Auriela.


	4. An Interesting Coming Home Guest

**A/N: **Sorry this is a bit late, but you should all feel very happy because I'M ON HOLIDAYS! Whoohoo! So cool eh? This chapter was really hard to write because it introduces a new character that I wanted to be unique in her own small way. So here you go.

**An Interesting Coming Home Guest**

**Vee**

'Did you see him? Completely covered in mud from head to foot. And being seen in those clothes!' Pause… 'Does he still have those twinkling eyes Vee?'

I wince as I wonder again how I let my mouth slip about my thoughts. To Cedric of all people. I turn around to face him.

'Yes, I found them flushing from exercise.'

He looks bewildered.

'But wearing those clothes, here! Do you go seen wearing you're exercise clothes?'

I look at him in shock. Did he really just say that? I mean, for a smart guy, he's just stupid sometimes.

'I recall that _you, _Cedric, were wearing your swimmers around yesterday. Or aren't they considered exercise clothes in Australia?'

Cate laughs and Cedric looks mortified.

'She's got you there, Cedric,' she says, before going upstairs to check on James.

Time passes slowly in the house, being alone with Cedric seems to make hours days. I go for a walk on the beach, trying to decide what I'll do when I get back. The sand is white and soft, creeping through the cracks in my toes. The wind whips around me and encloses me. I find myself just thinking of what is to come of me now I'm here.

It seems like I just spent the last six months of my year looking forward to this trip, but now I'm here, I don't know what to do with it. Everything is so different to England. It's a different sort of beauty.

When I reach the rock pools I turn back. I have the greatest urge to just jump into the water. I don't. instead I watch the sun start to sink, changing the colours in the sky. It's at times like these that I dread, but at the same time, look forward to. They're the ones that make me want to run hard and fast, and the ones that make me want to stay like this forever.

It's one of the bad times though. It's when it's too quiet when it happens. When I have nothing to get my mind off thinking. That's the way I've spent this past year, getting it off my brain. Making sure that I was always busy, so I wouldn't get caught up. But here, in Australia. It's like all this land, and space to cover, has to be time for thinking. The peace and quiet has to be made up.

The thoughts penetrate me as the sun sinks further. I watch my feet as the thoughts come through, screaming at me. My feet get faster, and before I know it, I'm running like I always do. I want to stop, and scream, to tell myself to get over it. To tell myself that she's gone now.

Instead I do a cartwheel.

The feeling of my core going out of balance and my hands on the soft surface makes me relax a little. I straighten up, and look to my destination. There on the veranda, standing watching me is Nate.

A cold flush rushes through me as it has each time he's been inside the room with me. Cate, after hearing none of him walking back to his house, invited him to stay as long as James was sick. It really freaked me out. I mean, seeing him _this_ _morning_ really freaked me out.

Why though, I have no idea. Sure, I can't get his face out of my head, but it shouldn't make me flinch each time he enters the room.

I shake my head a little, and walk back to the house slowly as the last sunray falls beneath the horizon.

**Nate **

'You type amazingly fast, Vee,' Cedric's voice floats around to her, and if anything I see her roll her eyes.

'Actually, I'm quite slow,' she replies, but continues writing.

'Who are you writing to?' he asks, leaning over her shoulder.

'Greg,' she replies stiffly. He doesn't quite get why, but moves back anyway.

His continuous chatter has disturbed me throughout the day. He follows Vee around like a little fly, not something I mind though. They deserve each other.

'Tell him I said hello,' he says before falling down onto the closest chair.

'My,' Cate interrupts, while playing with the edge of a pillow, 'you guys can really do everything can't you?' she indicates to the book in my hand, and then the tennis racket next to Cedric.

'Yes, well any man should have a good sense of sports, politics, music, literature and a way of holding himself,' Cedric says, standing up again. I scoff, but continue to read my book. I hear Vee sniff, and at first I think it's from laughter, but then I see her nodding.

'Yes, that's exactly right,' she agrees. I look at them both in shock.

'Isn't that a bit sexist. I mean, any girl could do all that too, why does it have to be the men?'

Vee whips her head around to give me a cold stare.

'Well, it's true isn't it. Men do have to obtain high paying jobs for social status even in modern society. Women rarely leave behind large inherits, unless a man has helped her. Men have to have good knowledge to stand well in society.'

I look bewildered at them both, but Cedric is just nodding as if Vee was the most important girl in the planet.

'Modern society isn't filled with restrictions on what you get paid,' I rebut.

'Oh, do you think so?' Vee practically spits at me. 'You never see a rich star walking with the poor unless it's a charity case. All poor people think the rich are snobs. It even happens in schools. Public schools think that privates are stuck up. We all like to live in a little cage when we think the world is better than it was, but really it isn't.'

We're both getting fiery now, the tension in the room has risen, along with Vee's voice. I open my mouth to contradict her when Cedric walks over.

'Come, lets play a game of tennis,' he says, but it isn't a question, it's an order. I fold the page and try to slam the book, but to no avail. It's thin, so it ends up closing quietly.

'Would you like to join us, Vee?' Cedric asks, leaning against the wall. God, the guy is sickening.

'No Cedric. I know that I will get in the way of whatever you are doing.'

'What can she mean?' he asks, pushing himself off the wall and giving me a look.

'Surely if you don't ask her, she'll be the only one disappointed.' Cate laughs, but Cedric continues on as if I hadn't spoken.

'Tell us, Vida,' he smirks. Vida, the name sounds odd, but then I realise it's what Vee is short for. It's a very original name. I've never heard of it before.

'Well,' she says after a pause, 'You either want to be competitive in your sport, or you have business to discuss. In both cases I would only get in your way.'

Cate laughs again at them all, and Cedric falls to the chair again.

'Hmm,' is all he says.

Vee continues typing away at the computer, and Cate sits cross legged on the couch, her eyes closed. I get up suddenly, causing all eyes to stare at me.

'I'd better check on James,' I say, before escaping.

The rain pours out the window. It's like the outside is crying. The beach is fierce, we can all hear it through the crack of the fire. James is upstairs getting ready. He's better now. Or at least better enough to get that Cedric no longer wants him around. Dad and the others are coming over to pick us up. Mum thought it would be best considering what happened last time we went out in the rain.

Waves crash about, looking like they are having fun. Smiling as the wind teases them. The sky is angry though. A deep blue, even though it is barely the afternoon. That's the thing about storms near the beach. Everything swirling in a mass of colours, everything changing constantly.

The doorbell rings, and I hear someone go and answer it. I can't wait to get home. Even seeing dad seems like a golden opportunity. Since yesterday this house has been awkward and silent. Like a crisp cold edge has placed itself on everything. Cate's done her best. Really gone out of her way to make things easier for everybody, but it's hardly worked.

She comes in now, grinning from ear to ear.

'All the Bennet's in the world seem to want to visit us,' she says with a laugh. And in crowd… all of my family, with exception of mum.

'What a nice little place you have here, right on the water too,' my father exclaims.

'And rather nice furniture,' Liam adds, patting the leather couch that he's sitting on. I can feel my eyes bulge. I knew what was going to happen next.

'Leather! That's disgusting. Do you know what they do to cows to make that stuff?' Matt spits from underneath his hair.

'Matt,' I say, and shake my head. All Vida, Cedric and even Cate look amused at the scene.

'Hey,' Tim says looking around the room, he sounds a bit dazed, as if he's having trouble stringing his thoughts together. 'You should so have a New Years party here.'

Liam looks too excited for words, and Cate looks at Cedric.

'I think that's a good idea Ced. I mean, think about it, we could have fireworks on the beach. It'd be really fun.'

Before Cedric has any time to disagree, Vida jumps in.

'That's great, I still feel like I don't know anyone.'

'Then it's settled!' Cate says with a laugh. 'You can name a time and place when we see you next.'

The room is enveloped into awkward silence.

'You guys ready?' James asks at the doorway. I smile.

'As ready as possible.'

We crowd out of the house, but find ourselves caught on the veranda. The rain is heavier now. It had stopped for a little while when everyone came in. no one has an umbrella.

Tim, Liam and Dad run out in the rain, waving their goodbyes. I go to follow them, but Vee catches my hand.

'Wait,' she says, and runs back into the house. She returns a moment later with an umbrella.

'He shouldn't go out in the rain,' she explains pointing to James. I nod and take the umbrella, then we go, and I can't get the touch of her palm in mine out of my head.

'It's good that you are home,' mum says rather forcefully as we rush in through the door. 'We have a guest.'

Out of the shadows comes the most alarming girl I have ever seen. Her long dirty blond hair, is high off her neck in an amazing bobble type thing. Her cheeks have perfect circle of bright pink blush, and her eyes dotted with glitter. She's wearing a pair of leggings that look like jodhpurs, and a canary yellow jumper, that looks like it has paint splattered on it.

'Jacinta, this is James, my eldest, Nate, Matt, Tim and Liam, and of course, you'd remember George.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you all,' she says, widely accentuating all her letters. It's then that I can feel Tim and Liam behind me, their bodies shaking as they try not to laugh.

By the time dinner is served I know enough about Jacinta as I'd ever like to know about anyone in my entire life. According to mum, she is her cousin's second wife's daughter, but is of no relation to us. She's an actress. Theatre of Shakespeare, she had announced.

'I expect that you've all heard of Christian De Bourge,' she says while taking a large gulp of wine. My father, for possibly the first time in his life, shakes his head, and looks put out.

'What? Never heard of Christian De Bourge? Well, I have a lot to tell you then.'

Mum sighs and leans back in her chair as everyone else rolls their eyes. Even James, who seems to never think badly of anyone, is playing with his food, his elbow propped up on the table.

'As you all know I live down the south coast, near Nowra. And Christian, is one of the magnificent directors of the plays we put on. He is really quite famous. The third most famous director in the country or something. He has the most superb house, and I have the pleasure of living right beside him! Would you believe? His house is called Rosings, and has been voting the most beautiful house in NSW!'

She waddles on for a while as mum starts to clean the plates. Both James and I jump up to help her.

'Why?' I wail as I start packing the dishwasher. Mum laughs.

'Nate!' she tries to scold. 'I got a call from her a couple of weeks back saying that she'd be up in Sydney for a little while, and that she'd love to come and visit us. So she just turned up.'

'But why?' I say, pretending to sob. James pats me on the back while laughing.

'You know, I think you're a bit harsh on her. Her lovely Christian sounds a blast too.'

That cracks us all up.

**Vee**

My hand is tingling.

I'm sitting in the sand, freezing cold although I'm wearing huge grey pants, and three layers on top, along with a red jumper I found in cupboard that is a men's size twenty-two.

The sand is whipping around me, and the sea is crashing about. Rain falls from the sky in odd patterns, sometimes bawling down for short periods of time, and others just spitting lightly.

My hand, stretched in front of me, has now gone numb. But it hasn't left the tingling feeling behind. I mean, what the hell is wrong with me? I held is hand for what, three seconds? I don't even like him.

I tuck my hand back into my sleeve, and start blowing on it to warm it up. I rock back and forward, thinking of what Greg is doing in England right now.


	5. A New Acquaintance

**A/N: **So before you all kill me with pitchforks for taking so long to update, can I just say that I've been on holiday? Okay good. This chapter as really hard to write too. It was hard to get Grace's character right. So sorry for the wait, and here it is.

**A New Acquaintance **

**Nate**

'So, which one of you will I get to make out with?' a girl asks with a laugh. The guys around me immediately look up. There is a girl who definitely knows how to hold herself.

She's leaning against the piano facing all of us, and smiling to herself. She's pretty gorgeous too. The beautiful that shouts out to be notices. Fiery red hair cropped in a chopping bob, her grey eyes surrounded with black eyeliner, although it suits her.

The guy beside me moves his legs and smirks.

'I'd love to any day.'

She sighs and rolls her eyes before coming over to sit with us.

'No, that's not what I meant. Have you read this?' she asks, smacking a script down in front of us. Untitled! screams out at us. I inwardly wince, it was a very harsh play.

'It supposed to be a modernised version of The Twelfth Night, with a chorus. I was talking to Samantha, and she said that she wanted it to have the sort of feel that Hair had.'

The guys groan. I laugh.

'So do you plan on playing Viola?' She turns and looks at me, obviously surprised.

'Well, who else do you expect. It seems that it's either me, or those two,' she says pointing to girls that have their noses stuck in Harry Potter. Don't get me wrong, Harry Potter's a great book. I love it. It was the main thing that got me reading books. But we are at an NICA course.

It's eight o'clock, and everyone's just sort of waddled in according to them. When I signed up to this course, I thought it would be fun. I did the same course last year, and we put on a modernised version of The Importance of Being Earnest. Samantha and Josh, the two directors were heaps of fun, and gave me a scholarship for the course this year.

NICA is a company that my whole family loves. Dad's friend, Bill, was the guy that started it all. It stands for New Inventive Creative Australians, and had courses running through drama, photography, singing, dance, and practically everything else to do with performance. James is doing a course on film this week, and Liam and Tim are doing the younger drama course.

Josh slams open the door and walks through the door, making the Harry Potter girls jump.

'Sorry,' he apologises, 'I always love making an entrance.'

That makes the rest of us laugh.

'So! We have about four weeks to get this show on,' Samantha says, there are murmurs within the group. The play was going to be showcased on Australia Day.

'But first we are kicking away the scripts!' Josh, kicks away the script, and Samantha laughs.

'And playing some warm ups,' she finishes with a laugh.

We start off playing the original Thirty Second Dating. To get to know the group we'll be working with for the next month or so, we have to sit in two rows facing each other, and talk to each other for a minute about ourselves. One of the lines moves down after the minute so you always get new people.

None of the people really catch my eye at first. It's all the same things, my pet, my favourite… That's until the girl sits in front of me.

'Go!' Samantha shouts.

She leans forward smiling.

'I think you and I should run away out of this dump,' she whispers.

I smile and lean forward too.

'And where do you suggest we go?'

'On a ride full of colours and water.'

'Water!' I exclaim, 'no, not anywhere in Sydney.'

'Exactly,' she replies with a wink.

I stick out my hand.

'Nate.'

'Grace.'

Then Samantha yells out again and we move on. I watch her throughout the rest of the day. And she watches me. It's like a secret game we have, to spot the other looking.

At three o'clock, when we finally get dismissed, I walk up to her.

'Hey,' I say. She smiles. And then I hear a sound that I wish never existed.

'WHOOOHOOOO!!!' Tim and Liam yell at the top of their lungs, jumping all over me.

'Oh,' Tim says, noticing Grace. 'Sorry bro, didn't know you had company.'

'And good company,' Liam says, looking Grace up and down. I think of a way to shut Liam up, duct tape always seems like a golden choice, but its not permanent.

Grace laughs it off.

'So, who are these?' she asks.

'My brothers, Tim and Liam.'

'And don't forget me,' James says rounding a corner. 'James,' he adds.

'Four brothers,' Grace says sightly overwhelmed.

'Actually five. Matt too. At least we know our parents were still getting some when little Liam was born,' James says, ruffling his head.

'That's so cool,' Grace says.

'Let me guess, you are an only child and you've always wanted a brother,' I say.

'Got it in one,' she answers.

'Well let me tell you they're actually a bit overrated,' this results in lots of outcries and hits on the heads.

I don't know how it happened, but somehow Grace ends up coming to the park with us. I think it was Tim who suggested it, and then Liam insisted. She laughed along (something that she seems to do with ease), and walked to the park with us. We all make jokes and have a great time. Liam and Tim act like she's the golden angel brought down to them, and she seems to be lapping up the attention.

We reach zebra crossing. As the others walk across to the park, Grace grabs my hand.

'Look,' she says, pointing to a stripe. 'It's like you.'

I look at her, wondering where she's going with this. She runs to middle of the road, pulling my arm so I come to.

'Can you see now?' she asks. I study the stripes. I smile as I realise.

'It's slanting,' I say.

'Yeah,' she says, continuing walking across the road. 'It's like you. You're different from your family.'

But before I get to ask her what she means, we reach my _family_. They're sitting in a tight circle on the grass. We sit down with them, and chat over pointless things until James' face brightens.

'Cate!' he says, waving her over. She's on her bike, Vee not far behind her.

'We were just going home,' Cate says with a laugh. James nods, but I'm not looking at him anymore, Vee has caught my eye. She glances at Grace her eyes widening. Grace nods slightly. Vee frowns.

Then she turns the bike away and pedals as fast as she can. Meanwhile the guys are talking about the party. It was dress up. Cate looks bewildered at Vee for a second.

'Sorry, better go.'

'You should come along Grace,' Liam says.

'Yes, of course.'

Cate races after Vee, her hair flowing in the wind. The picture of Vida's face comes running through my mind. I frown, and give my head a little shake. What did it matter? It's not as if I like her or anything.

After a while James takes the little ones home. Grace and I move to the swings. She moves with her eyes closed, a smile playing on her lips. I watch her, only moving a little.

'So,' she says abruptly. 'How long has Vida been here for?'

This is what I was waiting for. To understand their cold greeting earlier.

'About two weeks,' I say. She hums.

'How do people find her?' she asks, a though pretending not to care.

'If they don't think she too proud, they think she's arrogant.'

She laughs short and hard.

'Classic,' she says.

'So how do you know each other?'

Her eyes snap open. 'We were best friends,' she answers.

I don't know what I'm more intrigued by, the _were, _or the fact that she must have lived in England.

'You're English?' I say, surprised. She smiles a secret smile.

'Acting's always been my forte,' she says with a laugh, and I get a hint of the English pronunciation. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. She sighs at my face and continues swinging.

'I lived in Leifton my whole life. That's were Pemberly is. Vida and I went to school together. Her mother was single, after the father left for abusive reasons. It was unacceptable for the heir of Pemberly to be female, but she lived with it, giving the inherits to Greg when he turned of age. It was confusing, and she was going through a hard time, my dad went over to help a lot.'

She takes a breath, and looks to the ground, coming to a stop on the swing. 'The next thing, I guess, was boarding school. It was where everything changed. I missed Greg and Mialane more that anything. Vida though,' she comes to a halt. She looks me straight in the eye.

'Well, lets just say our friendship didn't last,' she says cynically she gets up. 'My dad left, he ran away with his secretary leaving me with Mialane who was my Godmother. She was the only one who supported me.'

She looks away from me, her voice quieting, 'But sadly enough, she got breast cancer. Vida wasn't there when she died, but I was. She told me that I was to take any money I needed to get the education I wanted. So I tried. But before I knew it, Vida had kicked me out of the school, and given me a bad reputation throughout England.'

During her story, hatred for Vida has grown to a boiling point. My face is shaped in horror.

'I'd better go home,' she says, 'want to walk me to the bus stop?' I nod, and we walk in silence for a while, my mind ticking over the new information.

'Why? Why would she do something like that?' I whisper, shocked that anyone could do anything of the sort. She laughs bitterly.

'Jealousy. She couldn't handle the fact that I was with Mialane last. It almost killed her. So there I was, no money or family, in a country that didn't except me.'

'What did you do?' I ask, frowning.

'I got in touch with my cousins here, and they brought me over. From there my life's gone up, and just because she isn't in it.'

'That's horrible,' I say trying to work my head around it. She just smiles at me.

'Yes, but her being here isn't going to affect me. If she doesn't want to see me she'll have to go.'

Her bus arrives and she smiles up at me.

'I might just take Cate up in that offer,' she says. And then the bus leaves, leaving mewith only the thought of Grace's story.

**Vee **

My breath is rapid, but I never stop peddling. I can hear Cate behind me, calling my name. I don't pay attention. I just can't get Grace's face out of my head. It looks exactly the same as it did when she left. When she told me that she never wanted to see me again. Or when she told me that Mum had died.

My teeth clench tightly, and I come to an abrupt stop as I hit the end of the park. Cate comes panting beside me. Anger is boiling within me, my brow is covered with sweat.

I look over the horizon as the trees clear. I never noticed how high the hill was. You can see everything in Haberfield from here. That's what I love about being in a new place, there's so much to explore.

Blood still pumps quickly through my veins, and my hand's whiten on the handle bar.

'What was that about?' she asks in that Australian accent that I love.

Suddenly the anger's gone, but it hasn't left me with no emotion, instead it's changed. Thinking of Grace has always made me like that, it makes me remember the bad things that the councillors say not to think. Sadness swells in my body, and I become overwhelmed with the lump beginning to rise in my throat. I don't know how to explain in so little words exactly what Grace has done to me. So I don't say anything as my head falls on Cate's shoulder, and inhuman sobs rack my body.


	6. Fairy Lights

**A/N: **So yes, it's been a long time. But I've been on holidays and that's the only reason for the long wait. I go back to school on Wednesday so everything will go back to weeklies then. This chapter isn't very long, so I know it doesn't make up for it, but please review anyway because I love you guys. ; )

**Fairy Lights **

**Nate**

'Nate, are you looking for someone?' Cate asks, wearing a twenties evening gown, her hair curled to her head and her lips blood red. I try not to look startled at her question.

'No,' I say gruffly but continue my search. I walk through each of the rooms, but find Grace's fiery red hair nowhere. I sigh disappointedly and sit down, grabbing a drink as it passes by.

'Nate!' I hear, and then a giggle. I spy Liam at the other end of the room, clearly making out with a girl. She detaches herself from him, and with a smile comes towards me.

'I have a message for you from Grace…' she pauses and looks me straight in the eye, 'She had other engagements that she had to attend that she wasn't aware of, and she's very sorry that she couldn't make it.'

'Other engagements?' I ask.

Danni (a girl Liam had met as NICA), nods gravely before leaning towards me.

'If you ask me though, if a certain someone wasn't present here, she would have found a way to get out of it.'

She gives me a polite nod before going back to Liam.

'She said what?' James says as we sit talking waiting for everyone to arrive. I repeat what Danni told me.

'I still can't believe that Vida could do such a thing in the first place,' he sighs.

'Think about it Jamie, who would you rather believe, Grace or Vida?'

He shakes his head and sighs, before his attention is caught by Cate who is standing on a chair.

'Hi everyone, I think we're all here. So we all know that this is a dress up party, some of us have gone with the Victorian period,' she says waving to a couple of girls, 'some the 20th century,' she indicates to separate groups dressed in the twenties, fifties and even eighties. 'And others have gone with a time of their own,' she finishes with a smile. It's not meant to be snide, but we all know that she's talking about Jacinta. She's wearing the most hideous dress I have ever seen. It's canary yellow. And not a nice canary yellow, the one that looks a bit too close to green. It has cuts and strips and practically just looks like she's thrown on random pieces of material. She exclaimed that she was dressed from the future.

'So,' Cate continues, 'we have hundreds of dance music ranging from these time periods, so please, enjoy the dances!' She laughs and jumps off the chair, happily leading James to the dance floor. A swinging sort of song comes on, and people start doing bad or some good impressions of Charlie Chaplin.

'It is my intention,' Jacinta whispers in my ear making me jump several feet, 'to stay close to you throughout the evening.' She walks off, winking at me as I stare after her in amazement. Chris laughs at my face.

'You certainly have a handful,' he exclaims.

We watch James and Cate dance. I'm entranced by their laughter and movement.

'He has to make his feelings known,' Chris says abruptly.

'I think they're pretty obvious,' I say with a laugh. Chris gives me a stern look.

'Has he asked her out? Has he made a move on her? Has he done anything to suggest they aren't just friends? He needs to do something or she'll be snapped up.'

I look at Chris in shock. He said it almost enviously, as though James had the life he couldn't lead. He made it all sound so important.

'It's not like it's a life or death situation,' I say with a frown.

'But it's not like it's not going to hurt anyone.'

My frown deepens, but before I have any time to think about it, Jacinta makes her way over.

'Would I be so bold to as for the next dance?' she asks, her voice a drawl. It's something I've noticed about Jacinta during her stay. She talks with no emotion, her voice monotone. It's what makes it so hard to listen to her.

_Yes, _I think in my head, but I don't say it out loud, she's already dragging me to the dance floor.

The reason that the dances are so easily picked up, is that Cate had invited people who knew the dances well. It was sort of like there was an expert for each dance. There would be a quick demonstration to show how to do parts of the dance, and then you would dance to the music with your partner.

This dance was a dance from the Renaissance period. We all line up in two lines, the girls on one side and the guys of the other. We face our partners and a girl with a friendly smile goes through some simple steps.

The music starts up, a single flute playing a long note. We bow to each other, and the girl wearing a Victorian dress starts up with her violin. The music is old fashioned music. Beautiful in it's own way.

'Don't worry Nate,' Jacinta says, disturbing my thoughts. 'I did Renaissance dancing at a workshop with Christian De Bourge.'

'Sidings!' someone yells and we all move as one. Jacinta, as stated clearly before is very good, or I am extraordinarily bad. But by the end of the dance Jacinta is giggling hysterically. She curtsies, her head doing an odd wobble as it bows. Then she whisks off, grabbing a drink on her way.

**Vee**

I smooth out the dress that Cate picked out for me. It is fifties, going in so much at the waist that I'm surprised that I can still breath. It's a warm red, with white and black stripes, falling below my knees. When I turn it fans out. I make sure I turn a lot.

I watch the scene in front of me. Cate gleaming as she dances with James. She catches my eye and winks. I laugh. She told me that if she saw me standing on the edge, doing nothing but watching, she'd be forced to do something. I take my eyes off her, and glance at the other dancing couples. It's an old classically dance. One that you would see in all those BBC productions. My eye catches a girl wearing the weirdest dress I have ever seen. I glance at her partner and scoff. Nate, dancing with the strangest girl I have ever seen.

The music stops and people clap enthusiastically, it was a good dance, if I had bothered looking closely. The night's just beginning though, so people aren't too enthusiastic to start dancing, or they just haven't drunk enough yet.

We go through the dances at our own pace. And I do dance. I have fun, and before I know it, the music stops for an interlude while people eat and rest their feet.

'I am never going to allow you not to dance again Vida!' she scolds. 'You are a fine dancer, and you should be dancing all the time.'

I smile.

'So should I go ask anyone who takes my eye to dance?' I ask.

She nods, a slight smirk on my face.

'Yes, go!' she laughs, and pushes me so I fall on…. A very tall person. I glance up into their eyes, still laughing.

'Oh, Nate.' I step back a little. I hear Cate behind me laugh, and decide to take her up on the challenge.

'I was wondering if you'd like the next dance?'

'Yes,' he answers as though it's a relief. I glance behind him and see the funny girl who was dancing with him before. She stares at me.

He takes my hand, and together we walk to the dance floor.

**Nate**

'And now, a simple waltz!' Cate exclaims with a laugh.

I take Vida's hand again and place my hand on her waist. Her hand delicately on my shoulder, and we start with small steps to the sound of the music. She closes her eyes briefly, her hips swaying. She opens them, and looks me intently in the eye.

Dad often says that I stare at people too intensely, but Vida returns my gaze with as much force.

'It a great party,' I remark, hoping to get her gaze away from mine. She looks around the room, a small smile dancing on her lips.

'Yeah, it spent us all afternoon getting the fairy lights up.'

They were the only things lighting the room, making it dim and dark even in some corners.

'Yes,' I say. She spins her hair splaying out, her dress fanning out as well. It for the first time that I realise that she's looking great tonight. Her hair curled in long locks down her back, her fifties dress, everything. She dances gracefully too. But she isn't the girl I want to be dancing with. I sigh.

'So, do you…' she trails off, looking at her hand. 'Do you often go to the park?' she winces at her choice of words.

'Yes, I often go to the park after doing the NICA course.'

'What's The NICA Course?' she asks.

I smile, I always forget that she hasn't lived in Australia.

'They're a company that hold courses for kids, ranging from acting to singing.'

She rounds her mouth and nods.

'It's a great opportunity to meet new people,' I say rather forcefully. Her head snaps up and she studies me thoughtfully.

'How long have you known Grace?' she asks, it odd the way she shapes her mouth as she says Grace's name, almost as if it causes injury.

'Since the NICA course started at the beginning of the week.'

She smiles bitterly.

'She has the ability of making friends very easily. Whether she can keep them though is another story,' Vida remarks. I look down at the girl dancing in my arms. Her eyes are glistening with hatred. I can't believe her.

'Oh, and it's been so tragic for her to lose you're friendship,' I say forcefully. She looks bewildered at me for a second, before her eyes harden and she gives me a cold stare.

'Oh yes, so tragic for her?' she says sarcastically her face almost twisted with bitterness.

'You can cause her so much pain, yet you still treat her with humour?' I ask.

'How could you think she's been through so much pain?' She's stopped dancing now, her eyes are fiery with anger. Her hands tugs itself out of mine and she takes a step backwards.

'What are you doing?'

'Trying to figure you out,' I reply.

'And?'

'I've found you to be completely repulsive to people that you owe.' She scoffs, turning to the side, her face setting.

'Don't talk of things you don't know about, Nate,' she says, facing me with cold eyes. The music finishes as we stare each other out, then she gives a slight nod and brushes past me to Cate who is frowning, concerned with what has just happened.

I turn abruptly and almost knock into Jacinta.

'Is that Vida Darcy?' she asks excitedly, when I nod, she seems to almost jump with joy.

'I have to introduce myself, did you know that she is the niece of my good friend Christian De Bourge?'

I don't even stop her as she walks up to Vida, introducing herself with over exaggerated arms that doesn't suit her slow drone.

I see Cedric smirking in his corner.

'What interesting family you have,' he says, and turns away from me, sipping his beer.

And so I hide. I walk out seeing James and Cate dancing to another dance that looks straight out of a Jane Austen novel, along with Cedric and Vida, Matt sitting to the side, talking to Jacinta vividly and Liam and Tim attached to girls.

I open the back door, and slide outside. My back falls against the wall and I take in the scenery, the black night and the still waves. I inhale deeply, letting the cool air calm me down. I empty my head of all thoughts concerning Vida.

Then I'm ready, so I go back inside to face the music.


	7. New Year's Kiss

**A/N: **Chapter Seven! Are you guys excited or is it just me? Thankyou everyone for all you're reviews! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Sorry, thought I had to make it loud and clear.

**New Year's Kiss**

**Nate**

To end the night, Cate puts on a mix of songs from the nineties. Everyone gets up to dance. And when I say everyone, I mean every single one of the forty people who turned up. At one point though, Cate exclaims that it would be the last song of 2006.

Everyone runs around like crazy people, getting with the people that they'd like to dance with. I somehow end up with Jacinta. Chris, the lucky bastard, ends up with no one leaning back on the side. He smiles victoriously at me when I scowl at him, and that only makes me scowl harder. James of course has roped down Cate, and they're both blushing.

The people around me start dancing slowly, holding each other and swaying slightly to the music. Jacinta throws her arms around me, and presses her head on my chest.

'I tell you what we should do?' she says, looking up at me. I can smell the alcohol on her breath as she giggles.

'We should elope!' She laughs hysterically at that. I don't think it's very funny, I feel rather abused. She throws her head back, her shoulders heaving.

'You can live with me!' I almost shudder at the thought. She sobers up quickly though. 'You know, it's quite a place. Right next to-'

She gets cut off though as the countdown begins. She bats her eyes at what she must think are seductively. So in my panic, I do the only thing I can do…

I throw her onto Chris.

He looks bewildered at me for a second.

'One! Happy New Year!' everybody shouts, swooping down to kiss their partners.

So I end up alone, on New Year's Eve.

**Vee**

So he swoops down and kisses me on the mouth. I pull back horrified. He looks at me roguishly.

'There's something I have to tell you,' I say, wondering why I was going to make the rest of my stay awkward.

'Yes?' he asks, still smirking.

'I'm just not interested in you that way, Cedric.'

Then I leave him, gob smacked. I brush past Cate and James on my way, still thoroughly enjoying their New Year kiss.

Well, weren't they the lucky ones.

**Nate**

We end up leaving last, after James insists on helping Cate clean up. By the end Liam and Tim are falling asleep on each other, and Jacinta and Matt left hours ago with Chris.

We all trample into the car that mum let us borrow. It's got James' P's stuck in the front. The jokes have long gone about James driving skills after he aced the driving test for his P's.

On the drive home, Liam's head lolls on my shoulder, Tim already snoring in the front seat. James just smiles to himself the whole time home, living his dreams while I'm crammed up the back, thinking nothing but my argument with Vida.

**Vee**

The next day I wake early. It's only seven, but I know it will be hours before Cedric and Cate get up. I go to the veranda and watch the day begin as surfers appear on the water.

My hair blows in the breeze and although I've hardly slept, I feel revived. A thought pops into my head, and before I over analyse I act on impulse.

Five minutes later I'm splashing the water, dancing to my own song, feeling the waves pass me by.

It that feeling, and the thought of freedom that makes me believe that I could actually make it through this adventure.

**Nate**

It turns out that Jacinta leaves the next day. I think it's from embarrassment but from the look of her face this morning, I've got the feeling that her head hurts too much for her to remember anything from last night.

It's dramatic, dad's formed a fond liking to her, and is horrified that she hasn't hooked up with any of us. I don't tell him of Jacinta's offer last night. I think it's better left unsaid.

Among the flurry of dad's disappointment, and mum's teasing, James and I keep to ourselves. We go to NICA together, after Liam and Tim's is cancelled for the day because the venue ends up being double booked. It's the first time I feel like I speak to him since Christmas. Between NICA and Cate, we seem to get a bit distracted.

Grace is there though, in all her glory. She apologises for last night, her eyes giving her away as she tells her story. But we immediately become friends again, laughing our way through the day.

We get our parts, Grace, as promised, gets the role of Viola, and I get to be Duke. It going to be heaps of fun. As we start going through the script, violently editing things, I can't help but think that it might turn out okay, like it always does.

**Vee**

'Come on Cate. James?'

I hear Cedric slam the door as I run up the stairs, still dripping from my swim. Cedric finds me first before I can see Cate.

'I think we should spend the rest of the holidays in Melbourne,' he states. I look at him thoroughly confused.

'What does Cate think?'

'She wants to stay with her lover boy.' It comes into my head that Cedric may only want this because he's bitter about last night, but that flies out of my head at his next words.

'I've watched them both carefully, Vida. She's head over heels in love with him, but to him, she's just a summer fling.'

I stare at him in shock. Is it true? Would someone do that to Cate?

'What do you mean?' I ask carefully.

'Thing's that start in summer, never go through to school. They finish in summer. He's going to break her heart,' he says it all very bluntly.

'But don't you think taking her away from him is going to hurt her more?'

'What do you think is harder to take, hearing bad news from someone you love, or hearing bad news from someone you trust?' he asks.

Then he leaves, taking that feeling I loved so much with him. The feeling that things might actually turn out fine.

**Nate**

A week later, James gets a phone call. It's one of those ones that he shuts the door on the family to, which makes us all want to listen at the door. He's in there for about an hour, talking to a person that we are unaware of. He doesn't come out when the phone call ends. Instead he listens to Sufjan Stevens.

It's then that I know that something up. Only problem is, I know he needs to talk, but he's shutting me out.

'James?' I ask, he pretends he can't hear me through the locked door. I do our secret knock on the door, but even that won't help.

So, mum goes into mum action.

I don't know how she realised, maybe it was because we were all moping round the place when she stepped through the door, or maybe mothers have gut instinct when it comes to their children. But she took one look at us all, and then marched straight up to James' door.

'Hon,' she said, in the voice that she used to sooth us when we were hurt, 'let me in.'

And he did.

Next thing I knew, Rod and Bea were coming round for dinner, to talk to James about going to Melbourne. Rod and Bea were like our older cousins. To us, they seemed like adults that had never left childhood. They were types of hippies I guess. Rod was this long lanky thing, with dreddies in jet black, and Bea was this blonde with curls going down her back. Rod was dad's younger brother, they had a lot in common, but yet so little.

Bea and I sit on the couch, the television on in front of us, but neither of us watching.

'She's broken his heart, you know,' she says thoughtfully. 'He needs to get out, it sad that the only place where he can get out, is where she's situated herself in.'

I sigh. No one had told me the details of the conversation yet, I felt that I was the closest person to James, yet I still didn't know what was making him hurt so much.

'What happened?' I ask, letting Bea know with my eyes what I was feeling.

'Babe,' she cooed, taking my hand tightly in hers. 'She's staying in Melbourne for the rest of the holidays, and she isn't sure of where she's going to school yet, her parents want to look at school down there. She said that maybe it was best if they didn't see each other for a while.'

'What! That's bullshit! They were in love.'

Bea gives me a light smile. 'What is it about the Bennet's?' she asks, 'Their boys are so romantic!'

I give her a slight punch and laugh it away. James was leaving in two days when his NICA course finished. You never know, maybe they'd catch up down inn Melbourne if he let her know she was there.

**Vee**

When I come back inside, Cate is crying on the couch.

'Is he right?' she asks looking at me with such hurt eyes I want to scream, No! No he isn't! But I can't. for the life of me I want to protect this girl who has been the friend to me that I haven't had in years. So I bundle her up, and whisper that maybe it would be nice to go to Melbourne for a little while, and then hold her sobbing body as she lets me know how she feels.

**Nate**

The day after, Chris finds me. Amazing really, we are best friends, yet we haven't seen each other in almost a week.

I'm sitting on my veranda, reading, letting the cool morning air wake me up.

'Nate!' he calls from my bedroom door. I jump up and clap him on the back.

'Chris, how are you mate?'

'I'm good, great actually.'

I laugh.

'I've thought you should here the news.' Chris had never been the nervous type, but now he has his hands wringing in front of him, and he isn't plonked down on the floor like he usually is.

'What's up?' I ask, more concerned.

'I'm… I've been… Me and…' through this stuttering I can see him trying to get something out, what though I have no idea.

'I'm going to live with Jacinta for the rest of the holidays,' he suddenly blurts out. My eyes widen with shock. What the hell?

'What the hell?' I say, mimicking the thoughts rushing about my head. Chris hanging his head.

'Jacinta and I, well we hooked up on New Year's. She's been living with us this past week or so.'

'But, that's impossible,' I exclaim.

'No it's not,' he says.

'But she's ridiculous.'

He frowns at me.

'Come on, Nate. You didn't even give her a fair go.'

I look flabbergasted at him.

'Why?'

'I'm twenty three, and I'm still living with my parents. She's offered for me to come down with her, and spend the next couple of weeks with her. I'm not going to Uni, I work as a barista, but have been recently fired, and this gives me a chance to start a fresh.'

He looks at my face and sighs.

'I shouldn't have to explain myself to you Nate. I'm going to live with her. So don't judge me, and don't you dare mock me. I'm going whether it be for the rest of the holidays or for the rest of the year.'

Then he leaves, slamming the door in my shocked face.


	8. Thickshakes

**A/N: **do you guys love that I'm actually sticking to the weekly plan? I am. Hope you like it! AND THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEW!

**Thickshakes**

**Nate**

'I'm not going to go out of my way to see her. If I passed her in the street maybe we'd stop and chat.' James packs his suitcase, letting me lie on the bed while he talks to me for the first time about Cate.

I sit up suddenly, shocking him with the intensity of my stare.

'She loved you.'

I am going out with the big guns. I don't care if it makes me sound soppy. There is one thing I'm sure about, and that's that their relationship meant more than anything to Cate.

'She didn't, Nate,' he sighs, and closes his suitcase, 'it was just a short summer fling.'

I stare shocked at him; he could be so stubborn.

'Tell them that you are there,' I say, thrusting his suitcase in his chest when he starts to rebut, 'otherwise you might always live with regret.'

He shuts up at that, and then goes down to where Rod and Bea wait for him.

**Vee**

The only thing worse than the silence is Cate's face. It's like she's been wounded. We spend the last couple of days at the beach house; I think it's best for Cate since he doesn't live next door anymore.

If she hasn't shut herself up in her room, she's vigorously exercising, as if maybe she can drive it out of her system. The only time when she acts herself is when we're lying in the sun together on the beach.

Her golden hair swims around her, almost bouncing, even though it lies on her brightly coloured towel.

'Get down to the beach as much as you can while we're here, we never go to the beach in Melbourne.' She says it with such disappointment it makes me wonder why we're even going when we could just stay here.

We leave anyway. On a plane. And for the first time since Christmas, the Bingley's are together as a family. I think that Cate must find it hard. She's not really close with any of her family members, and she seems to only tolerate Cedric, because that's just the way she is.

Maybe that's why she was so grateful when I came. She told me once, on the beach, of her old school, and it seemed like she was excluded from her group. This I find shocking, since she's such a nice, considerate person. Maybe that's what makes me want to protect her so much from getting hurt by anyone.

Nate

To: Chris Jonson

From: Nate Bennet

Hey mate,

It's odd writing to you when I'm so used to just walking down to your place to say hello. I'm glad that you like it down there, by the sounds of it you needed a break from the city life.

Here though, everything has calmed down. I still see Grace everyday, and the performance is tomorrow. Thanks for the luck in advance. I think it's going to be good, Matt is providing to blacks for the show, funny that. Sam and Josh think it's a hit, but all the rest of us now know it better than the back of our hand and are already sick of it.

But everything else is uneventful. Tim and Liam are back in there teasing mood since there's nothing to take there mind off it, and Matt is content with practising with his band in our garage, much to the dislike of Dad.

James left us a week ago now, and I've only heard from him once since. He says that Bea and Rod are treating him to every possible thing he likes. He says it's the place to be if you ever feel unwanted.

Other than that, everyone else has left. Leaving me with nothing to do except finish the plentiful amount of books I got for Christmas, and practising my lines.

Anything to get me away from here would be a blessing, so I'd love to come and visit, see how your life down there is.

I called up Greyhound buses like you suggested, and apparently there's a stop at Bowrel Lake which is just next to you, isn't it? The trip is a bit longer, five hours or something, because they have to take a detour through Wollongong. But I'd love to come, and if the surf's good (wherever we can get to the surf in Bowrel?), what's the reason not to?

I'm leaving in two days, so give me a call so I can tell you the round a bout times.

Nate

**Vee**

A week in Melbourne, and I've already had enough of it. Who would have thought it? I catch up with my cousin though. Evie. She's still the gorgeous thing she used to be. Multi-coloured hair, a mix of blonde, auburn, brown, and bright green eyes. She invited me to her house for the end of the holidays. She said that she knew that Melbourne could get the same once you've been there for a couple of weeks.

She still lives with Christian down near Nowra, that's the only problem with the plan. She says that she won't mention me coming down until I decide if I want to or not, we both know that he'll force me down if it's up to him. She's doing a course at Melbourne uni. Medieval History. She loves it.

We go down to her favourite café, called The Blue Tree. On the way she shows me where she lives. She has two other housemates, Sean and Red.

'They are the funniest creatures alive, but when it comes to protecting me, they get so serious!' she laughs. She points to a table and gets me to sit down.

'I'll get you just what you feel like,' she says with a small smile. Then with a small wink at me, she makes her way to the counter.

'Is this my True Blue Evie, come to visit!' a man calls from the coffee machine, she just laughs at him. I watch them both act in their playful banter until she finally comes back to sit beside me.

'Flirt!' I say. She blushes.

'Everyone here seems to have a crush on their barista,' she says, playing with the sugar.

'Mine's not a barista,' I say with a sigh, not even realising that the words had slipped from my mouth. She raises her eyebrows at me.

'Met someone my Little English Rose?'

'Yeah,' I say, taking the sugar off her, 'someone who probably hates me like the rest of the people in Sydney.'

She realises is a case to drop, and just smiles at me, before chucking sugar at me.

'You big dope,' is the only explanation I get.

I glance outside, watching the amazing heat beat down on all those unprotected by shade. Fans are going in the café adding to the atmosphere that the temperature has created. The road shines, and if I look up the hill I can see the heat waves ruining the pictures of the cars. I glance at a painting of a blue gum tree on the wall, before turning back to Evie.

'I forgot you were so much fun,' I say.

'You haven't seen nothing yet. I know what you do,' she says nodding her head, 'You get caught up with looking after Greg, that you never have a fun time for yourself.'

The guy she was talking to earlier comes around with our drinks.

'Is the wondrous Evie giving her pieces of advice,' he says after placing the drinks in front of us before sitting down.

'But of course,' she says with a laugh.

'You wait Missy,' she says turning back to me, 'you're coming down to Bowrel with me, and you're going to have the time of you're life.' She takes a big slurp of her drink as though signalling it's the end of the discussion.

I look down at the drink before me and give a wary look at the guy.

'What is this?' I ask. It is a mix of what looks like black swirls and ice, with bits of milk.

He gives me a look.

'Wait, you're English?' he says, holding his hands out, 'you never told me she was English!' he points accusingly at Evie, and she just laughs.

'I thought it would be obvious.'

I smile at them.

'Is anyone going to answer my question?'

'It's like a mocha thickshake, but replace the chocolate with Oreo's,' says the guy.

I take a tentative sip, and decide that it's the best thing I've had since I got here. I smile giving him the thumbs up after he watches me carefully.

'I'm Evie's cousin, from England, Vee.'

'Jake, Evie's friend, from Australia,' he laughs.

We continue with fun conversation that I've longed for since we got here. It's not that Cate isn't gorgeous and lovely, but Cedric makes her close up a lot. When I leave so I can meet Cate, I decide one thing, I'll go to Bowrel with Evie, just so I can have a little break before I have to come back and face the world.

**Nate**

'I'm sorry, I had to do it. I'm so sorry,' Grace gushes, holding me closely. This is the bit I hate the most, the bit where I have to be the strong, silent type. I straighten up, almost shrugging Grace's arms off. I give her one 'smouldering' look, before turning away from her.

'Great guys, we'll hold it at a close. We've got to leave something for you to concentrate on,' Sam says, letting us rest for a little while.

Grace gives me a smile.

'So this is it!' she says with a laugh.

'Break!' Sam shouts.

'I want everyone to be back here by six o'clock so we can get make up done!' Josh shouts.

It looks so funny, everything really. The blacks everyone's already dressed in, the makeup kit bound to be packed away in either Sam or Josh's bags, and the very many bare seats waiting to be filled for the performance.

'Grace!' a guy exclaims coming over to the table we're sitting at. It' one of the thing's that I just don's get about Grace, she knows everybody. It's like there's a magnet surrounding her, and all the people she knows hang around in that force field.

She jumps up and gives the guy and earful of a hug. I liked the thought that I found this amazing, exotic princess, but it seems that instead, she found me, just like she seemed to find everyone else around.

They talk for a little while, but I don't bother joining in the conversation, instead I just look around the café, taking everything in.

'Sorry about that,' she says as she sits down, 'he's my cousin's best friend. I haven't seen him for about six months.'

'No, no, that's fine.'

She smiles as we're enveloped in silence as we finish our drinks.

'So, are you doing anything during the rest of the holidays?'

'Yeah, for once I've got something planned,' she says with a smile. 'Me, my cousins, and some of my friends are taking a van and driving to the Gold Coast,' she says. 'We should be back just before school starts, depending on how it goes over there. We were thinking of making it something we do very holidays.'

I nod, and try to look interested, but all that's on my mind is the performance that's this afternoon.

'Hey,' she says, taking my hand, 'don't worry, I have a hell of a lot more lines than you do. Most of the time you just have to stand there and look good, which isn't very hard for you,' she laughs.

I laugh with her, I know it is going to be good, but I'm also glad that no one was going to come watch me, that would be a bit embarrassing.

'Come on,' she says, curling her hand in mine, 'we have a play to perform.'

The most terrifying thing about being on stage, with about a thousand strangers ready to judge you, is that at anytime you could stuff up. And the most terrifying thing about stuffing up, is that there is no rewind button.

This probably isn't the best thing to think as we enter the second part of our play, but it's what ends up happening. I line up, ready for my cue, the chorus starts singing waving their hands about and dancing. Then I step on stage.

It all goes pretty quickly, and before I know it, Duke is finding out that Viola is a girl. This is the bit that I think Grace finds the hardest, only because she has to try so hard not to laugh at my face. A smile creeps in the corner of her mouth as she says her lines. Then she leaps up and kisses me, as directed by Josh and Sam.

The curtain closes with Grace and I kissing, and the first thing she does when she draws apart, is laugh straight in my face.

'How fun was that?' she says, before turning to the audience for the encore.

We step up, holding hands and bow together, engulfed in the sounds of so many people clapping.

**Vee**

The only problem with going, is that I have to tell Cate. I can't imagine her reaction. It's a fifty fifty, I can either get lucky, and she'll think it's a great idea, or she'll just crawl back into the shell she's created for herself.

'Hey babe!' she says, brightly bouncing on the bed as I walk in. Looks like a good sign.

'What's got you so happy?' I ask as she starts humming. She looks up at me grinning.

'Promise you won't get upset or anything?' she says, suddenly unsure.

'Of course, how could I get upset when you look so happy?' She grins at me.

'Mel's invited me to her country house for the week,' she says jumping up and down.

Mel is one of her best friends, but she lives in the country so Cate never gets to see her.

'That's great, Catie!' I say, making her grin wider.

'But that's not all, she might be going to a school in Melbourne or Sydney, the same ones I'm looking at!' At this her face almost split in two, so bundle her up in a huge hug.

'That's so fantastic!' I say.

'I was just thinking about what you would do,' she says thoughtfully, 'maybe you could spend sometime with Evie?'

'Yeah. She said she'd be going to Bowrel soon, maybe I could go up with her,' I say.

'Hey, isn't Bowrel where James' cousin lives?' she asks. I sit down beside her. I sigh, and try to sound distant, looking away from her hurt eyes.

'Yeah, I think it is.'


	9. Outside the Comforts of Home

**A/N:** So you have every right to yell at me, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to take this long, but this chapter was really hard to write. The next chapter will take a while to get up too, so I've warned you in advance. Hope you like this, and I'll update as soon as I can.

**Outside the Comfort of Home**

**Nate**

After only one hour sitting on my bum in the same position, I'm in pain. I can't think of how bad it's going to be in the fifth hour. Maybe the pain dulls out in a little while.

Maybe not.

I'm resting my head on the windowsill, glancing out at the constant changing scenery. We aren't even out of Sydney yet.

The bus is practically empty, except for three tourists up the front, European, and an elderly couple up the back. There's also a heavily punked up Uni chick, but she seems in her own little world.

In a way, catching the bus down is, tranquil. There's no screaming around to get everyone packed, it's just me, sitting alone, watching the scenery.

It's one of those days that everyone jokes that England gets all the time. The one that can't quite decide if it wants to be gloomy or not. The sun ends up just glinting through the clouds every so often.

I don't know what it is, probably the independence, not having to rely on people to get you places. You only have to rely on the driver to go the right route. He introduced himself at the beginning. His name is Clive. It could be that I'm putting all my trust into a stranger. The whole thing is so peaceful.

Clive stops, and three backpackers get on, they're all speaking French. I find it amazing how multicultural this whole bus is. But then the bus stops at Wollongong, and about ten people get on. All true Australians in there stretchy, sunburnt skin.

The thing is though, none of it gets to me. It's all so calming, even the bumps of the bus seem relaxing. Or maybe it's that I can't here anything around me, just what I'm listening to.

Maybe it's that I don't have to think about anything. I just have to let my thoughts move along, floating like a leaf on a stream.

So I keep on listening to my music, all the way. Past Berry, where we have our lunch stop, past Nowra, where the elderly couple get off, and where we turn towards Canberra, cruising along to Bowrel, where I get off, seeing Chris waiting for me.

**Vee**

It's a faded red buggie with a white stripe carrying all the way down to the boot. It was made in the sixties. She says she got it for six hundred dollars, and she's in love with it.

'The best thing about it,' she tells me, 'is that it's not those horrible bright in-your-face red's. It's a warm red.'

The only problem is, it's something like forty two degrees, and air con mustn't have been made back then.

We've got all the windows open instead, and one of Evie's tapes blasting out of the stereo. She's laughing, going on the highway her hair whooshing about her, as the wind changes direction. I can't think of what I look like.

She gave me this little shift dress that she always wears to the beach. She says that it's perfect for days when it's too hot to wear anything. The cotton's so thin, that it really does work. She's wearing a singlet and a pair of red shorts to match the car.

I hear a familiar song playing its introduction. Evie's looks wildly at me.

'_Detected is flat, no long is always flat out_,' she sings, and the words pop into my head at the same time the name of the song does. Pineapple Head- Crowded House.

'_Got the number of getaway car, didn't get very far_,' we sing, laughing all the while.

'_And if you chose to take that path, I will play you like a shark, and I'll clutch at you're heart. I could fly in like a spark, to inflame you.' _

The tape ends, and we hear it roll. We listen to the silence for a while. She looks over and grins at me.

'Do you remember the first time I met you, that was my favourite song?' she asks. I grin back at her.

'You just _had_ to teach me all the words.'

She sighs. 'I don't think I would have made it through high school without Crowded House. Whenever I had to study for a big exam, I'd listen to The Best Of album because I knew all the words and so I'd just think of the lyrics to the songs, and the phrases, or quotes, or formulas would come to me.'

I open her glove box and rummage through all the tapes she has inside, The Best Of album hiding up the back. I take it out and dust it, before jamming it into the stereo. So we sing all the songs, all the way down.

**Nate**

He grabs my bag and swings it into his truck before giving me a slap on the back.

'It's great to see you.'

We don't drive in silence, if anything we break down the barrier of silence with so much force I don't think it will ever return. We talk of memories and tell stories. Like the time when we were keeping these reptiles in the rabbit cage. It must have been when we were seven or eight. We collected all these things from the pet shop, and what we found in Roso's. They stayed at Chris' house, because when we got the turtle, they had the pond. Once, a blue tongue lizard got out and went under the sink. When Chris' mum opened the cupboard, it sat there, gazing up at her, flicking its tongue. She wouldn't stop screaming until it was back in its box.

And the time when dad thought he was so cool, and decided that for my birthday, he was going to get me a bearded dragon. He also decided, that he and his mates would catch it. So off they went, looking for this lizard, and finally, they found it on this hill. So all three of them jumped out of the car, dad whipped off his shirt and caught it, but when they looked back, the car was rolling down the hill.

He had forgotten to put the hand break on. So ones of his mates ran down the hill and crawled in to hit the hand breaks, while dad just stood there, this bearded dragon wrapped in his shirt.

And how Lola, the next door neighbour, was jumping so high on the trampoline that when she fell off (and she did fall off), she landed next to a rat and never went near our house again.

Finally we arrive. I'm not quite sure what I expected, but I definitely didn't expect what's in front of me. It's a cottage. It's small, and kept away, hidden by a tree. The area surrounding it though is huge. The first thing that comes into my mind is that you could play a great game of pretty much anything here.

It's built out of really grainy bricks, and green wood. He drives into the driveway and opens the green gate, that shows the rest of the cottage, and a huge courtyard filled with all types of things.

'Jacinta's at drama, she'll be back around six,' Chris says.

So we go to the lake that runs through our property and the next. The pathway leading to the lake is behind three trees.It's made of sand, and tree roots. We come to a bridge that crosses over a creek. It's small and wooden, according to Chris, Jacinta's dad built it. There are trees crowding over us, so we walk bear footed on the grass until the sand starts again, and we have to climb very steeply uphill. There, as we stand on the hill of white sand, is the lake.

**Vee**

When the tape finishes, we have to stop at a station to get some more petrol. Evie leans against the car as she holds the pump, her hair still blowing about still in the breeze that's caught up in the afternoon.

'Are you going to tell me who this lucky man is?' she asks as I sit on the bonnet of the car.

I lie on the windscreen and sigh, knowing there's no way that I'll be able to get away from her if I don't say anything.

'His name's Nate,' I say, she wolf whistles.

'The stubborn speaks!'

I glare at her, 'He's got dark hair, and dark eyes. He doesn't think he's gorgeous because most people only notice his brother, but really he is. He's tall, about a head taller than me. He isn't gangly though, but he isn't a body builder. And he is almost as stubborn as me. He's smart, and can pick a fight with me, he isn't self conscious, he looks after all four of his brothers, and is a great dancer.'

Evie stares at me, the pump limp in her hand.

'If he is so god damn perfect, why the hell hasn't he asked you out?' she asks, looking at me incredulously.

'Because I didn't make the most perfect first impression,' I answer. She gives me a look, and then stuffs the windscreen wiper in my hands. I've always loved washing the car, mainly because the windscreen was the hardest, but easiest thing to do. You could do it the wrong way, and get frustrated, or do it the quick way. I grin, and finish up in a second, following Evie as she wanders inside.

The bell tinkles and the guy at the counter looks up. We browse the isles looking for supplies for lunch and a quick snack. She picks up a packet of Twisties, and I go for a Maxibon, before grabbing chocolate milk, bread, and peanut butter.

We both grin at the guy at we take the food to the counter.

'Anything else I can get you?' he asks with a smile.

Two hours later, with sticky fingers and milky breath we stop at a park. Toddlers are hogging the swings, so we plonk the food down on the bench.

'How much longer?' I ask, collapsing onto the seat, my bum sore enough as it is.

'We've done five hours, so we just need to do another five before we get home,' she says opening the bread.

We both groan at the same time.

'Do you want me to do some driving?' I ask.

'Are you insured to do that?' she asks.

'Yeah, that's fine. I just can't go back pregnant, with different piercings, tattoo's, or pretty much anything that makes me permanently or semi-permanently different to what I looked like when I left.'

Evie laughs.

'There goes the spontaneous tattoo idea. Wait, do you even have you're L's?'

'No, you have to be older in England. I do know how to drive though. Remember, you taught me?'

'That's right,' she says, laughing at me, 'you crashed right into a tree!'

I scowl at her, and then laugh.

'Shut up,' I say.

'That settles it then,' she says and glances down at the pot of peanut butter.

'We don't have a knife,' she says her face drooping.

'Haven't you ever been outside the comfort of home, Evie?' I mock, taking the pot from her hand and grabbing a piece of bread.

'This is how you do it.' I roll the bread, and cover the outside with peanut butter, and then take a big bite.

'Know it all,' Evie laughs before doing the same.

Once our bellies are full, and our back scorching from the sun, we drive onwards, Radiohead drifting softly with the wind as I fall asleep on Evie's shoulder.


	10. Mazes

**A/N:** Yes, I know it's been long, but this was a very hard chapter to right. I should be on track now, but if I ever leave it too late, just send me a review kicking me back into shape. And for all those that don't know what a Maxibon is… it's one of the best ice creams in the world.

**Mazes**

**Nate**

'You'll never guess what has happened!' Jacinta crows as she walks in. Chris shares a look with me.

'What's happened?' Chris says.

Jacinta's grin now is completely covering her face, which is also covered with extremely intense stage make-up. She walks to the bathroom, grabs a face wipe and comes back out.

'Christian is such a sweetheart,' she says with a laugh, walking over to the mirror. She takes a big swipe and her skin is uncovered, a little smeared from the make-up.

'He invited us over for dinner,' she swipes over her eyes, leaving them black and dripping. With another swipe on both eyes, the make-up is gone. She turns around smiling as Chris makes the dinner.

'He's invited us all to the annual picnic! He wanted to meet you, so the picnic is perfect.'

For a moment I just stare at her. It's like she's had a complete transformation. Okay, I admit, maybe not that far. But without her wacky make-up on, and wearing a pair of jeans and a top, she looks almost… normal.

'What do you think of that?' she asked, still with her usual drawl, but something that doesn't get on my nerves quite as much.

'It's great babe, can't wait!' Chris says, moving her to the side as he gets a spoon out of the draw.

'Picnic?' I ask. Jacinta looks over at me in shock.

'That's right Nate. The De Bourgh's have an annual picnic at their place. It always heaps of fun.'

Chris smiles and gives her a peck of the cheek.

I can't help but feel that this is completely foreign. Coming into this house that they've made their own together. Completely out of place.

I watch them, and the only thought that comes into my head, is how Vida would have felt. She didn't enter a new house, though, she entered a new country. In that way, I'm in awe of her, and for the first time since I've met her, I feel like Vida isn't as superior as I make her out to be.

**Vee**

I muffle a groan as Evie once again takes me out to the lake.

'Don't you like it?' she asks. I force on a smile.

'Of course I do, it's just when I'm woken at three o'clock by a crazy cousin wanting to see the sunrise I'm not as enthusiastic.'

She grins at me, and makes her way through the dark.

'You wait, Vee. You'll love it.'

We don't go in. We sit on the sand and wait. And she's right. When the first ray seeps over the horizon that the trees around form, it really is beautiful. It creates a sort of milkiness to the sky. Swirling the colours like when you're mixing a cake.

We lie, our hair moulding into the sand. Talking and laughing about nothing, or just thinking in silence.

That's the thing I love about this place, you can just relax and not have to worry about not meeting anyone's expectations.

**Nate**

The house that stands before me is simply amazing. There isn't another word for it. that is, if you could call it a house. More like a small castle.

'Isn't it just a magnificent sight?' Jacinta asks. I nod in agreement. It seems that Chris and Jacinta suit each other. Or at least help each other. I'm not talking about a major change in either of them. But they both seem more calmed and relaxed in each other's company. It's good for both of them I guess.

The house is Georgian style, and two stories high. It's one of those houses that should belong in old English country movies. Sandstone walls. That's the main reason it looks so idyllic. I think he other thing that makes it look so out of place, is definitely the bell tower spiralling above the second story.

We enter the driveway, three cars already parked in the driveway. I didn't think it was really necessary to drive to our neighbour's house, but in Bowrel, it's definitely something you need to do. Well, at least to get to the De Bourgh's. I can't imagine walking up the driveway and coming to the round-a-bout flourishing with exotic plants. We park and immediately Jacinta describes the house.

'That's the maze,' she says pointing to a bridge covering a small creek, leading to tall hedges. 'Inside is the most beautiful gazebo, you can see all of Christian's property.'

I look up at the house itself, trying not to get distracted in all the things surrounding it. The front doors almost look like a church, with huge stain-glass windows, and climbing roses invading the bricks.

The door opens, and a beautiful smiling girl emerge.

'Chris, Jacinta! It's great to see you,' she says with a laugh. She sees me.

'Nate,' I say, taking her outstretched hand. Her eyes widen a little.

'Evie,' she says with a secret smile.

We go inside the house, polished and immaculate. Evie with her free going way is hard to imagine growing up in a place like this. It's contained and yet so open.

She leads us up to a veranda, which looks a lot like Juliet's balcony. It's huge, with pillars swarming with climbing roses. There, seated waiting for us, is most likely to be Christian De Bourgh. He doesn't turn as we enter, merely sits waiting for us to go before him. In that way, I feel that he is superior to us.

'Dad, Chris and Jacinta are here, and so is Nate. He's Chris' friend,' Evie says as we sit in front of him. She smiles apologetically at the abrupt introduction.

'I'll be back in a second.' She runs off, but not before I see the laugh she tries so hard to suppress.

**Vee**

Evie sneaks into my room, smiling mysteriously.

'What?' I ask, watching her carefully.

'Did you know that we have practically the same name?'

I shake my head and laugh at her. She could be so random.

'You're not wearing that are you?' she asks. I look down at the grey pants and polka dot top I'm wearing.

'What's wrong with it?' I ask defensively.

'Number one,' Evie says, starting to rummage through my wardrobe, 'it's the middle of summer, and you cannot wearing pants in the middle of summer.' She stops for a moment, frowning. 'Oh!' she exclaims grabbing my hand and running me to her room.

'What was I saying?' she asks, now rummaging through her own wardrobe.

'Number two…'

'Oh yes,' she says distractedly. 'Number two, we have guests and you have to look good.'

I scoff at her.

'Look, I know Chris, he wouldn't mind if he saw me on my worst day. He's a nice guy.'

She triumphantly produces a red dress. 'You're wearing this,' she says. I look at it. Short with a great colour.

'That is a flirting dress,' I state.

'No,' Evie says with a smile, 'this is a dress to have adventures in.'

**Nate**

I hear giggling and for the first time since I arrived, I feel slightly more relaxed. In bursts in Evie, and following her…

I blink owlishly at her.

'Vida?'

'Nate?'

'What are you doing here?' we ask simultaneously.

'Wait? You guys know each other?' Evie asks with a smile. Vida rounds on her, glaring.

'You knew?' she hisses.

'No,' Evie says, the smile still playing on her lips, 'how could I know that you know Nate?' She goes on, but is silenced by Christian.

'How are you two acquainted?' I shoot a glance at Vida, and see that she isn't the only one that finds Christian's use of language harsh in a way.

'Nate lives next door to the family I'm living with,' Vida says hurriedly.

Chris, staying silent the whole while looks between Vida, and me grinning.

'Maybe we should head down to the garden,' he suggests.

'Yes, you can meet everyone,' Christian says and gets up slowly. Jacinta steals him for conversation of the up coming play, and Evie and Chris talk like old friends.

I wince inwardly, and then glance down at the fields where people are setting up picnic rugs. This would be very awkward.

Somehow, I manage to meet everyone and stay out Vida's way. But that only results with Christian breathing down my back.

'So which school do you attend Nate?' We're all seated comfortably on many rugs in a circle. All heads turn to me.

'Umm, I'm going to Concord Boys,' I say. Some people nod their heads as if they know the school, and others continue on with their previous conversation. I can see Evie and Vida staring intently at Christian.

'I've never heard of it, what sort of private school is it?'

I grit my teeth from preventing me from snapping at him.

'No, Concord is a public school.'

Vida glances at me, almost apologetically, and that's when I snap.

'What? Which of your brothers attends a private school?'

'None,' I say forcefully.

'None? All five attending a public school? Well, I don't know about that.'

'Well it's hard for you to say, isn't it Christian? It's not as if you'd ever attend a public school. Two of my brothers and I got a scholarship for Riverview, but decided not to take it. Concord has a very high reputation with HSC and School Certificate results.'

Christian looks at me as though I'm mad, but then Jacinta decides to distract him throwing me a warning glance.

Half an hour later I'm sitting on a bench under a tree thinking what I did to deserve this. I think it's definitely from being so judgmental, and the world is out to get me because of it. If I wasn't so judgemental, maybe I would have been able to convince Christian that, no, I don't want to play cricket.

'You must come play cricket, you do play cricket don't you?' he said. It made me want to hit him.

'Yes, more a batsman than a bowler, Chris and James have always been better,' Chris clapped me on the back and nodded approvingly.

'Fantastic, you can play for Vida's team, they're batting first. And Vida, does your brother still play cricket?'

Vida looked up for a moment. Looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

'Umm, yeah. He's in the district team. He got a century at his last game,' she said distractedly.

And somehow, it all ended up with me, sitting here, waiting for Ewan (Evie's cousin) and Evie, the first batsmen, to get out. There's only four per side. Vida, Ewan, Evie and me on one side. Chris, Jacinta, Ewan's Dad, and Christian on the other.

Evie takes a big swing at a slow bowl from Chris, and gets caught by Jacinta. Vida quickly walks with me to the pitch.

'Coming to intimidate me Vida? Well, I'll try not to be, even if your brother does play so well,' it's meant to come out light, as a joke, but somehow it comes out very harsh. She looks surprised.

'No,' she says, trying to laugh it off, 'Christian made me captain. I just wanted to tell you that I don't care if you take risks, we really need to get some sixes here,' she sends me a quick smile before going to congratulate Evie.

Two innings, lots of runs, and the prize of winning to our names, Evie, Vida and I bask in our glory, lying in the weak afternoon sun.

'Oh, my God!' Evie exclaims suddenly, smiling a contagious smile. The extended family has left, and the rest of us just laze about eating occasionally and chatting.

'What?' Vida says, her hair splays out as she laughs.

'You both haven't been to the maze yet!' She gets up, drags Vida to her feet and looks at me pointedly. 'So are you coming or what?'

We end up going to the maze in follow the leader style. Evie skipping along, Vida too. Both singing, The Yellow Brick Road. They look so young, but are having so much fun. I laugh along with them until Evie suddenly stops and begins walking very slowly. We pass into a grove of close knit trees with a creek running its way through. We walk over a bridge, white and flamboyant.

'So here's the rules,' Evie says. 'A bit childish yes, but who really cares?' We enter the tall hedges and immediately the maze starts. 'First person to the gazebo wins, alright?'

I nod non committed, but Vida grins at me and turns to Evie.

'I have another preposition. Since you have been telling me all week that you could find anyone in this maze, how about Nate and I hide, you give us a thirty second head start and then you find us. Deal?'

Vida glances between both of us.

'Deal,' Evie says, the challenge glinting in her eyes.

'Deal,' I say nodding.

'Go!' Evie shouts already counting away to herself.

Vida takes her shoes off quickly and chucks them to the side before throwing me a grin, running away to the left. I smile back quickly and run to the right.

I run with no clue as to where I'm going. I hear Evie yell that she's coming, but it just makes me run faster. I hear Vida laughing, and squeal a couple of times. I turn one last left and bang into Vida.

'She's coming!' she yells, her eyes wide. I grab her hand without thinking and run back the way I came, we take some more rights until I feel completely lost. We come to a dead end, and we both stop, breathing heavily. I turn to Vida. She has her back against the hedge.

'Hide me!' she says, she's still laughing, but she doesn't want Evie to catch us.

'What?' I ask.

'You're wearing green, I'm wearing red,' she motions to her dress. 'Cover me,' she insists.

I block her body placing my hands on either side of her head.

'That is a dress to have adventures in,' I say with a smile. She grins and looks me in the eye.

'Aren't I already having one?'

And, as if on cue, Evie runs past us, screaming: 'Found you!'


	11. The Fierce Words of Anger

**A/N: **so I wasn't too happy with the turn out of the last chapter. I know that it's been slow, but if you don't like the chapter, could you tell me so I can make sure that the ones to come are to your liking? The feed-back is the best, and I haven't gotten much. That's all really. Hopefully this is what you've all been waiting for.

**The Fierce Words of Anger**

**Vee**

Evie takes us to the gazebo once we've finished laughing. She finds it with such ease, knowing exactly where we are. The gazebo is white, matching the bridge into the maze. It looks like an oversized gothic birdcage of sorts, but looks great all the same.

She hangs onto the wall using the gaps in the weaved wood as foot holes. She climbs up til she's sitting on the roof, then laughs and exclaims as Nate and I slowly make our way up to join her.

There we watch the sunset.

'This is one of my favourite places in the world,' Evie says with a sigh, her eyes glued on the pinks streaming along the sky.

'I wish I had a place like this,' Nate says suddenly, 'Everywhere I have is always shared,' he says it bitterly, but not regretfully. Evie glances over at me.

'Yeah, I'd like a place like this,' I mumble. At this, Evie laughs loudly.

'Sorry, Missy but you cannot say that you don't have a place like this. All of Pemberly is like this!'

I blush looking down.

'Oh.' I play with the hem of my dress before slowly taking a look at Nate, he's smiling at me.

'So, how did Davida impress you guys in Sydney?' Evie asks. I smack my hand to my forehand as Nate looks at me confusedly.

'Your name's Davida?' he asks, I nod and mumble into my hands.

'Wait you didn't tell him. Oh, come on. You have to tell him your whole name!'

My head shoots up as I send a glare at Evie.

'Oh, you wouldn't,' I scowl.

'I think you'd be surprised if I didn't.' I groan into my hands as she turns back to Nate.

'Her name is Davida Geraldine Winifred Darcy. But she much prefers to be called Davida Darcy,' Evie laughs at my face.

'Is that all? That's not that bad,' Nate says.

'It would if the kids at school started calling you Darth Vada.'

Nate chuckles but stops at my face.

'Want to hear mine? Nathaniel John Edmund Fergusson Bennet.'

Evie and I both stare at him for a while, and then we all start laughing. Not ordinary type of laughing. Falling over, losing control, stomach hurting, tears streaming kind of laughing. We stop once I almost fall off the roof.

'So anyway, what was she really like?' Evie asks.

'Do you really want to know?' Nate asks dramatically. Evie nods seriously. Nate glances at me, and grins as he tells her: 'The first time I met her, she didn't even dance a single dance, even though we played a variety of music and practically everyone else was making a fool of themselves.'

I sigh.

'I don't really go well with meeting new people. I tend to judge to quickly.' I say. Nate glances back at me, his eyes twinkling.

'Maybe you should practice, after all, you have to do a lot of meeting considering you are in a different country and everything.'

'Maybe that's why I went on exchange Nate,' I say, staring him boldly in the eye, 'To practice.'

After a while he glances away, so we just sit and watch the sunset again.

'Vida?' I hear Jacinta call, 'Greg's on the phone.'

So I scramble down the gazebo as quickly and only take a quick look back at Nate and Evie before running out of the maze.

**Nate**

We sit in silence for a while, until the sun finally slips behind the horizon and a light darkness engulfs us.

'So, do you know why Vida moved down to Melbourne?'

Evie gives me a look.

'Call her Vee. Vida is what my dad calls her. It weird having someone around my age call her it too.'

I laugh.

'Yeah, she told me a bit on the way down here. Apparently she saved her friend from heartbreak by moving down. The guy apparently lived in Sydney,' she sighs. My head snaps up immediately, my gut dropping.

'Did she mention which friend it was?'

'Yes, the girl she's living with, Cate Bingsley.'

I sigh, and rub my head in my hands. How could she do that?

'Did she say why?'

'She thought that the guy didn't like her as much as she liked him. She thought that it would end up a short summer fling.'

Anger wells inside me and I breath deeply so I don't take it out on Evie. How horrible could one girl be? To think that my brother…

'I'd better get back,' I say, ignoring Evie's look of confusion. 'Chris and Jacinta could be waiting on me.'

Evie nods, wiping the confused look off her face. 'Yeah, I'll walk you down.'

And on the way back through the maze, all I can think of is how vicious one girl could be.

**Vee**

'You did what?' I ask, my voice breaks and I tense, my head straight looking fiercely at Evie. A whole entire week and she hasn't mentioned anything?

'We talked about Cate, and how you saved her from heartbreak,' she says dramatically, not noticing my reaction.

'Shit! What am I going to do?' I recall saying goodbye to Nate that night, his reply cold and harsh. I hadn't seen him since then. It was almost as if he was… 'Oh no, no no no!'

'What is it? What happened?' Evie says, so sincere, coming over and taking my hands.

'The guy she broke up with is Nate's brother. He hates me,' I fall onto her shoulder, despair running through me. I glance out the window and see the rain pouring down.

'Oh, babe, I'm sorry. You have to do something though. We leave tomorrow, and you're never going to forgive yourself if you don't tell him why you did it.'

And so I leave, Evie dropping me off at Jacinta's house, where she tells me that Nate's somewhere near the lake.

I run quickly and silently. I swear under my breath as the rain pelts down harder. I keep running, my summer dress hanging heavily, my bare feet spotted with mud. I see a tree up ahead, huge and strong. I hide under its comforting leaves.

It doesn't help much, it seems as the drops of water find their way through the leaves and land thickly on my head. I shiver and hug my soaking cardigan closer to my body. I look at the sky, amazed that it can be raining, yet still look so happy. In England it just looks dreary all the time.

A single stray of sunlight escapes the clouds and hits the tree; I follow it, looking behind me.

There, I see sitting on a ledge, is Nate. His back is leaning against a branch, and his face is in the light. He's looking at me straight in the eye. My eyes widen, I've found him.

I shiver again, not being able to help it. He sighs and gets up running his hand through his hair. Then he swings down the tree with ease before jumping the last branch. He lands almost by my side, and I give a slight jump.

He looks down at me and I realise how close we are. His stare is almost too intense; his eyes seeping into mine. But I keep his stare, my eyes softening as I become used to his violent search. He frowns as his eyes flicker from one of mine to the other. The rain has stopped in my ears, and something disrupts his study. A raindrop falls between us, catching his eye as it falls to the floor.

He shakes his head as if clearing all thoughts.

'Come on, let's go up,' he says

**Nate**

She delicately lifts her hands and places a gentle finger on my forehead, as though trying to smooth out the frown that's been placed there.

Having her this close to me is making me feel sick. The ground seems to be moving up and down, like I'm on a boat, and breathing isn't so easy. What's happening to me?

'What's wrong?' she asks, her concern showing as she frowns as well.

She's so close I can feel her breath on my cheek.

'Nate?' she whispers, looking me straight in the eye. Without thinking, I lower my lips to hers.

It's so light and delicate, almost like a touch instead of a kiss. And for one fragile moment, I feel at peace. For one fragile moment, I feel content.

I can't think, I can barely feel, and yet, I haven't felt this good since I met her. It hits the climax though, rising to a point where I think I might burst.

Then it all comes crashing down.

Grace, James and who this is. I tear my lips away from her and take a step back from her. Wanting the distance… craving it.

She looks a little dazed, but then, I _feel_ a little dazed.

'I… you, can't,' I stutter. Her frown returns, this time deeper.

'What?' she whispers.

'Arg!' I throw up my hands in frustration, why does she always have to make me so confused? Suddenly she bursts.

'I need to tell you something!'

I look at her. The way she fiddles her hands in her lap, as though she's agitated with herself.

'You have no idea do you? Just being down here knowing you're next door again, has driven me almost insane. I wanted to see you, sure. I came all this way, past the lake and everything, just to see you. I can't take it anymore. Sure, I've denied it, considering you're family, not to mention you're friends. Let alone the fact that I'm only in Australia for the next couple of months. But I can't deny it any longer.'

'I don't understand,' I say, my face contorting into different expressions as she speaks. She sighs, looking at her hands that play with the hem of her soaked dress. She looks up at me, regret filling her eyes.

'I love you,' she says simply. I take a step back, and almost fall down the tree. This action seems to make her even more tense if it were possible.

Immediately my face hardens as I realise the accusations she's placed on me.

'I am sorry if I have caused you any...' I pause, trying to think of the right word, 'agony. I was unaware of it.'

My voice is bitter, harsh in beating her away. But instead of reducing her to feeling raw, instead it just makes her eyes flash with anger.

'Is that all you have to say?' she asks with as much force as me.

'Yes,' I say taking a step towards her. She scoffs.

'Rejecting me then?' It's hardly a question, but a statement. I scoff right back at her.

'I'm sure that you're denial of loving me with help you to overcome that love.'

Her eyes stare intensely in mine, hatred written all over her face.

'Can I at least know why?' she asks almost glowering at me.

'Can I at least know why you told me that you liked after you tried to deny it for so long considering my-' she cuts me off when I try to continue.

'Oh come on,' she says turning away from me, the anger still in her voice. Her head snaps back to face mine. 'Like no one else denies it at first.'

'I don't,' the lie spits from me before I can stop it.

'Yes, you just tell them straight away that you like them, do you?' her voice is mocking me.

'Yes, but I may prepare a better speech that yours first.'

She scowls.

'I have other reasons not to like you, you know,' I say as she turns away from me once again.

'What?' She leans against the trunk I did before, her head stubbornly not looking at me.

'You split up Cate and James, do you deny _that_?' As she faces me once again, her eyes have softened.

'No,' she whispers.

'Why? They were so happy together.'

She stares back out at the rain.

'I though it was just a summer fling.'

I can't get control of my anger anymore.

'A summer fling?' I explode. 'He's been in love with her for years!'

I try to see you expression, but she only looks away from me. She doesn't say anything.

**Vee**

'And what about Grace,' he asks, his voice still hard. Accusing.

Anger rocks my body.

'What about her?' I spit, still staring determinedly at the rain.

'What about the pain you've caused her?'

My head rolls over and over._ Her_ pain? I stand up suddenly and take a very big step towards him.

'Her pain?' I snap at him, my voice a deathly whisper. 'Is she the one who gets woken up at night, wondering how in the earth she almost let Greg-' I slap my hand over my mouth as the familiar prickle of tears poke at my eyes. I look away from him for a moment, recovering.

'Her pain has been very great has it?' I ask, sarcasm replacing my tears. Nate stares at me for a moment.

'You can treat her with sarcasm after you've reduced her to poverty?'

I can see in his eyes that he'll never believe me.

'So this is what you think of me. This image of me you've painted. Do you think I rejoiced in the fact that you were the son of the biggest gossip? Did you think I liked the fact that I had fallen in love with someone who willingly went out with Grace?'

He stares at me for a while and I wonder if I went a bit too far.

'From the first moment I met you, I thought you were proud and arrogant and you're superior hold over others disgusted me. This made me realise that you would be the last person in the world I would _willingly _go out with.'

**Nate**

Her mouth opens a little and she just stares at me, her face almost melting as the rain falls on her face.

'I'm sorry for taking up so much of you're time,' she whispers her voice no longer fierce, then jumps from the platform.

**Vee**

The ground comes too heavily. It makes the lump in my throat rise faster. So I run. Not caring if he sees. As fast as I can, into the rain, heavy droplets crying for me. With me.

I stop, my back falling on the hard back of the tree. His absence almost blows me over, his words running around and around in circles. I fall to my knees and let a single sob escape. Then I get up, and walk home, thinking all the while.


	12. Leaving

**A/N: **So a big thankyou to all of those who reviewed the last chapter. I love you guys. This chapter was really hard to write, but I'm proud that I still got it up there. And I'd like to give the most BIGGEST and most GRATEFUL thankyou of all time to my new beta… Auriela.

**Leaving **

**Nate**

I'm not one to brood, honestly. But sometimes, situations such as these can call for a good session of just that. Brooding. That's why I'm currently staring moodily out at the rain that's been pouring down since yesterday.

Vida's leaving today. I'm leaving tomorrow. I mean, school's starting soon, and it's just all starting to get to me. I actually want to leave. I was having a good time…but that was before Evie's…enlightening…conversation. But I just need to get home and sort out my life, and my messed-up head, before I go back to school. I won't be seeing Grace, since she goes to a different school, and is currently hitching a ride to the Gold Coast and back, but no doubt she'll keep me up to date with emails, just as she promised.

Why can't I get Vida out of my head?

**Vee**

I shuffle around Christian's desk drawer, searching for an envelope. Kind of old fashioned, I know, to be giving him a letter. But I know that if I sent him an email he'd just delete it. I slide the thick letter inside my chosen envelope, glancing at my handwriting, reliable with its cramped and painstakingly small script. I write his name on the front and stand get up, adrenaline rushing through me.

I wait a while. For the rain to stop pouring; for my heart to stop beating so fast. Evie checks on me to make sure I'm all packed.

The rain slows eventually, changing to what Evie calls spitting, and what I call nothing. The small drops falling every so often don't make a difference to me. So I grab my bike and make my way to Jacinta's.

He answers the door. It starts raining again. We just stare at each other for a while, an awkward silence enveloping us. I can't believe I'm here - I want to run, to rip up the letter, but I know I can't. For all I know, I may never see him again, and I could never live with him believing Grace.

I bite my lip and glance at my feet before looking back to him. His blank stare makes me shiver. I hand him the envelope, hating my hand for shaking, hating my throat for the lump that's slowly rising, hating my belly for doing somersaults over and over.

'Please…' My voice quivers and I clear it self-consciously, 'just read it.'

I don't look for his reaction, but instead turn my back and leave him standing there, riding as fast as I can, through the never-ending rain.

And then I leave with Evie, the atmosphere dismal because although I'm leaving a place I no longer want to be in, I'm going back to a place I don't want to be either.

**Nate**

The temptation was hard for the first couple of hours. I'd pick up the letter, and then put it down again. I couldn't read it while Chris and Jacinta were there; for some reason it was just wrong.

I'm surprised I lasted this long. A whole twenty-four hours. Now I'm on the bus, still fumbling with the edges, already worn and dirty.

I weigh up the pros and cons of opening the letter for another whole hour, the guy beside me giving me odd looks. I sigh one last time and look down at it. The guy slowly removes his heavy earphones.

'Look mate, just open it. How bad could it be?'

I nod but don't say anything as I rip open the envelope and unfold the pages. At first I'm stunned by her handwriting as the first sentence curls on the paper. It's like when you pick up a heavy, thick book, and half expect the writing to be big to accompany the size of the book… but then you see the tiny writing and you get a shock. I ignore my surprise and read.

_My mum died last year of breast cancer. I suppose Grace told you that. I guess she also told you that I wasn't there when she died. It's the thing that everyone says when they mention it – me not being there and all, despite being her daughter. Yet Grace was there. I was in London. That's where my school is. Grace had gone up for the weekend. My mother and her were close. After Grace's father left, she spent a lot of time at our place. We always came up on alternate weekends though... _

_Something about seeing Grace's face as I rushed into the hospital, ten minutes too late, has haunted me since then. Words can't describe how I felt when she told me that mum had died. We had fallen out years beforehand – we simply grew apart, different interests and everything – and I guess we were still very bitter about it._

_In her will, Mum had left Grace any money she needed to help with her education. Since Grace's family lived in Australia, and she hadn't contacted them, or her father after he had left. That was all. So I gave her money for her to continue her schooling and I didn't see her again, really. _

_It was fine, for the first part at least. I just stayed around Pemberly with Greg, comforting him. It hadn't sunk in yet, that she'd be gone forever. It almost felt like she was just away on business, like she always was._

_The first time it really hit me was when I had to babysit the next door neighbour's kids. This was when I was back living in London for school. I had gone over at the last minute and was having a terrible time - running after them, slaving after them. All I wanted to do was ring Mum up and ask her how she did it. And then it hit me. I couldn't. I could never ask my mother a single question again. _

_For a period of two weeks I wouldn't come out of my room, only crying and sleeping. Knowing that she'd never be able to comfort me, read to me, laugh with me. It was during that time that I got the first call from Grace. She'd been kicked out of my school within four weeks of starting back. She asked for more money to get an education at another of England highest schools. I said no straight away, believing she had already used up my mother's charity. I was still so bitter. _

_After two weeks though, Greg came and got me, and fed me, and looked after me. I knew then that I'd be okay, because we had each other, and that was enough. _

_So I called Grace again, and transferred the money she needed to her account. She didn't use it on her education, though. Within weeks she had spent it on drugs. So I did what I thought was right, and signed her into a rehabilitation centre, and took away all the money I had given her – not that there was much left. I didn't listen to her any more, every time she asked for money. She badmouthed me to my friends, and they slowly turned away from me, believing I was horrible… not knowing the truth. _

_Eventually, about six months later, I got a letter from the rehabilitation centre, saying that Grace had been released. A little while later she turned up at Pemberly, looking for Greg. _

_This bit might be the hardest of all to explain. It's still so raw for both Greg and I. _

_She took him to a few parties, and introduced him to drugs. He became addicted to heroin and ecstasy. She wanted to bring him down, and she got her way. She got him to give her the money for the drugs. In the end she got the money she always had wanted. _

_One night though, Greg had an overdose. She panicked, fleeing the country, leaving him stranded on the gutter. This whole time I had been away at school, and hadn't heard a single thing about Greg's habit. When I was called, I was asked to come to hospital straight away because my little brother probably wouldn't make it through the night. My little brother who had just turned fifteen. _

_He did make it through the night, thank God, and slowly got better. That's when Patti, one of Mum's closest friends who looked after us after Mum died, came to Pemberly full time. She blamed herself for what happened to Greg. _

_He got through the worst of it, despite looking like a corpse for about a year. Sometimes he was so weak from withdrawal symptoms that he couldn't even stand. He was determined though, and has never taken any drugs since. And I'm so proud of him because of that. _

_As for your brother, I am so sorry for the misunderstanding on my part. It was not my place to do anything like that, and I abused my relationship with Cate in doing so. At the time, I thought I was just helping her out. I was wrong._

_So these are the incidents that I wanted to tell you about – the truth. I don't blame you at all for being misguided by Grace. We all have been. Acting and manipulating are things that she strives for. _

_I will be forever sorry for all the pain that I have caused to you and your brother. Please forgive me. _

_Davida Darcy_

She hadn't even signed 'Vida'. The name she supposedly hates is the one that she signs with. That's the thing that hits me hardest, or at least that's before all her other information sinks in. It's like now, after revealing her life story to me, the one person she despises, she can't even hide behind the name she prefers. Everything about her, including her name, has been laid bare to my scrutiny.

What probably hurts most of all is that I had suspected her of so much that she had been innocent of. I believe her. Her side of the story is so much more put together; it has links. The puzzle fits together. I just can't believe Grace could do something like that. To do so much to one family, without any good reason.

I rub my head painfully, scanning the letter again.

'Well?' the guy next to me asks.

'It's worse,' I mutter. 'Much, much worse.'

**Vee**

The quietness in the car almost kills Evie. I can tell. But I can't start a conversation.

We pass by a swing set and I ask her to stop. We get out. She takes my hand as I sit on the seat.

'I'm sorry,' I say. She squeezes my hand but doesn't make a sound. I know that this term will be an adventure. The start of my adventure, really, since it is nowhere near the end. I will meet new people. Go to a new school. Learn a completely different syllabus. And it will be just like this until I leave for home on the plane. Watching the fuzzy clouds as I skim above them.

**Nate**

My house is in complete chaos as I enter through the back door. Matt finds me first.

'You came at a great time,' he says sarcastically before locking himself up in his room.

I walk through to the kitchen hearing the familiar bellows of Liam, Tim and Mum. I sit down beside James, loosening my school tie, noting mentally to myself that for the third time this week I've been late home because of Extension English and my family hasn't noticed.

Dad sits to the side, watching the fight with amusement. 'Of course you can't go Tim, they didn't invite you.'

'But Mum,' Tim whines. 'How can he go to the Gold Coast when I can't?'

'Because I'm better than you!' Liam says inappropriately, sitting down triumphantly beside Dad.

I glance over at James who nods at me briefly in greeting.

'Liam's been invited to go to the Gold Coast next holidays. Tim wants to go, but Mum won't let him,' he sums up for me. I stare at him in shock, the information about Grace, still raw in my mind, going round and round in my head. It's been a month since I last saw her, but that doesn't make me forget it. Who could forget things like that? I glance back at the fight, but it seems to be finished, Tim having stormed out of the room leaving my mother to follow him.

James turns to me. 'How's Chris? You haven't spoken about him since you went on holiday. But you never really said much about that either did you?'

The urge to crack my knuckles suddenly comes over me – a nervous habit I had as a kid – as I measure up telling James about Vida. I still can't believe that I haven't. When I came home, there wasn't much to tell in comparison to James' amazing stories. And maybe I didn't really want to. Maybe it was too soon.

I can't help it, and the sound of my cracking knuckles makes James' head snap up. I realise that I can never lie to him.

'Chris is great. And I had a great time there. I actually saw Vida there.'

His eyes narrow as he tries to figure out why I kept this from him.

'Did she says anything about Cate?' he asks. I shake my head immediately. Instead, I tell him all about it, and he listens as he always does, shaking his head in disbelief at the things that have gone round and round in my head for a month now.

'He can't go,' I say, sitting on a stool as Mum cooks dinner. She sighs and starts stirring the soup.

'Babe, we won't have any peace in this house unless I let him go.'

My jaw drops. 'That's all you care about?'

She runs a hand through her hair and turns stove down. She comes over and sits beside me. 'If I don't let him go, your father will throw an even bigger tantrum than Liam, and my youngest son won't speak to me for months.'

'You know all the types of drugs there's going to be there,' I say, attempting a different route, thinking all the while of Grace.

'Of course I do.' She gets up and goes back to the oven. 'He's not going to give up pestering us until he tries everything on his own.'

'What, so your giving him permission to get stoned?' I ask, trying hard not to get to angry. She frowns at me.

'You know Liam and Tim; they'd go behind my back anyway. I'd prefer to know that they're doing it than the other way round.'

I sigh angrily.

'I'm sorry babe, but it's the best I can do for now.'

And I leave.

I sit down at my computer and groan. _Why?_ is all I can think. I look over at the picture that James put as my background just to annoy me. It's the picture we took at the gelateria. It's of Chris, Evie, Vee, and I. When I was still being hostile and cold to her.

I look closely at her photograph and try to work out why she confuses me so much. I stare at the photo for a long time before I realise that her image won't change. If I look away and she'll be back in exactly the same place when I look again.

I sigh and rub my head with my hands. I miss her, amazingly. I miss the time we had together that day. What is wrong with me? I thought I hated her.

I start going through the letter again… and again, trying to work out if it's all for real… But nothing.

I think back to Bowral. Running through the maze, her free will and easiness, laughing as she ran. I was intimidated by her in a way. The old Vida was easy to fight with. The new one, was nice, and so, so… I just didn't know how to act around her. My heart beats faster as I think back to the conversation we had on the hill, but then I relax, because I know it's happened now, and I can't change it.

I smile, thinking of when Evie had whooping cough for about three days, her voice had gone husky, and each time she spoke Vida and I would raise an eyebrow at her, as if to say, are you being seductive? It was the only time I was slightly civil to Vida.

I shake my head, trying to rid _her_ from my thoughts. How could a simple letter drive me so absolutely crazy?

I think of the first time we danced together, both seething with anger. It was like there was nobody else in the room, like it was just us, swaying to the beat.

I jump up suddenly and turn on the radio. Triple J blares out one of my old favorites for an afternoon quiz.

_Wake from your sleep_. It's a song by Radiohead: _Exit Music for a movie_. I remember suddenly that it was her favorite band. I sigh. Is the world just against me today or something? It seems all I can think about is _her_.

I look at the picture willing her to come out of it, her whole self, body smell and all. Her smell…God she smelt good. Like rosewater.

I sound like a lovesick puppy. I don't even like her. I pretty much hated her for the better part of these last two months.

I want her to appear, just to explain why I can't get her off my mind. That damn letter's the answer. Just thinking about it makes me dizzy.

I think of the way she said goodbye; her face smiling, but her eyes hurt and sad. I need to see her, to demand that she turn my head back the way it was before she even came to Australia.

I'd do anything to see her.

I hit my head, and turn to the computer yet again. I click on the net and get on Hotmail. I've got a message from Chris. I open it before realizing that it's a forwarded message.

To: Nate Bennet

From: Chris Jonson

10 signs of liking someone…

.TEN.:

U LOOK THEIR PICTURE CONSTANTLY

.NINE.:

YOU READ THEIR MESSAGES OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

.EIGHT.:

YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER THEY'RE AROUND.

.SEVEN.:

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME TIME

.SIX.:

YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.

.FIVE.:

WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, ALL YOU SEE IS HER.

.FOUR.:

YOU START LISTENING TO THEIR FAVOURITE BANDS

.THREE.:

THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

.TWO.:

YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.

.ONE.:

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...

By the end I'm hyperventilating. Damn Chris and his great sense of timing. Just when I had convinced myself that I didn't like her. Ten signs of liking someone. Damnit. I hit my head on the table in the classic male response.

'Nate,' James opens the door just as I raise my head from the table, shaking his head and laughing at me. 'Bea and Rod are here.'

He all but runs down the stairs like an excited child on Christmas awaiting his presents and I follow him. Rod and Bea have just come back from India. They share presents, adventures and photos, enjoying telling their stories the whole while.

'So,' Bea says once dinner's over and we've cleared up the plates. 'I have an offer for you my dear.' She takes Rod's hand and glances over at me.

'We were thinking that since we've just had an adventure with James, we should definitely have an adventure with you.' I smile, liking where this is heading. 'We just so happen to be going to England during your holidays… Want to come?'

I laugh and give them both a huge hug.

'I'd love to.'


	13. The White Dress

A/N: thanks for all the positive reviews. I love you guys. Umm, and that's all really. A big thank you to my beta Auriela. I updated this before, but it didn't come up on alerts or something, so you might get two updates, but this is the right one.

**The White Dress**

**Nate**

I stare at the mansion looming in front of me, wondering (in amazement) how I could have possibly allowed Rod and Bea to convince me to come here. Firstly, it's her home. Hers. The girl I haven't stopped thinking about for weeks. Also it's the fact that I have never seen a house so huge. It makes Christian's house look like a mouse cage, and my house look like a rubbish can.

'We have to go in,' Bea says enthusiastically. Rod's nodding along with her. I glance at the lake, spreading itself over fields of green. This is almost too weird for me to handle.

I let them drag me in, not paying attention to their excited gabbling, but only to my surroundings. Blurs of colours and artworks engulf me, patterns weaving their way through thousands of rooms.

Rod and Bea leave, but after hearing that I met Vee in Sydney, Patti insists I stay for a cup of tea and walk back to the town later. She's a fun, loving woman, and is easy to talk to. Her blonde hair, pinned haphazardly into a wonky bun, and her bright eyes makes you feel she could let you into the secret only she knows with just one little laugh. She acts like a child that never wants to grow up. But then, at the same moment, she'll tell you something amazing that only with years of age could you learn.

Before we go down to the kitchen, she says that she has something to show me. She takes me to a room of the many upstairs, filled with photos, and shows me one wall hung with three amazing black and white photos. One is of Patti, and another must be Greg, he has the same eyes as Vee. The last is someone I've never seen before, a person in her mid thirties.

'This is her body of work for Art this year. She's based it on Sam Taylor-Wood's work, except instead of photographing famous people, she's chosen people who are important to her.' At my curious face she smiles. 'That's Vee's art teacher, she's really close to her.'

The reason the photos are so beautiful, and so completely heart-wrenching, is that in every single portrait, the subject is crying. We stand in silence, just taking in the photos. You can tell, just by the way she's looking at the portraits, that Patti is really proud of Vee. Then, via a silent agreement, Patti walks me down to the kitchen.

'Vee's coming home today.' She looks as though she can hardly hold in the excitement.

I try not to look edgy, and attempt to keep my tone light as I ask, 'When is she coming home?'

Patti gives me a knowing look. 'Oh, it will be well after dinner by the time Greg picks her up from the airport. But she did mention something about giving him a surprise…'

**Vee**

My white summer dress floats along with the wind as I push the bike pedals down. It's an easy ride. I'm glad Fred let me go on without him. Leaving my bags behind so he could drive them up later was one of my better ideas, I have to admit. I can't imagine riding a pushbike along, trying to lug four bags behind me. I laugh as the image comes to mind.

The sun beats down on my back a little harder, but the cool wind makes up for it. It's this sun that reminds me of those scorching days back in Sydney. I'm so glad I'm out here, in the open, like I was in Australia, instead of in that hot stuffy car. It seems that here, in England, people are intent on keeping their windows closed – back there everything was out in the open. And I'm not just talking about the weather, either. I remember at one time when John, Cate's father, forgot that I was staying at the house, and ran around naked after his shower before realising, and headed back to his bedroom with a squeal. Needless to say that dinner was very quiet that night.

I ride past the last of the paddocks and enter the forest that signifies the start of Pemberly. I smile as memories rush over me. Of Greg and I climbing the trees. Telling stories of the haunted willow. Swimming in the creek.

My eyes brighten an idea comes to mind. The creek.

I pedal faster and begin to work up a sweat. I laugh, loving the feeling of the wind whipping through my hair. The forest finally opens and I see the gates of Pemberly to the right, and the fields to the left. I turn and pedal to the place that is my sanctuary.

The fields around me slope up and down, and I find myself on the bridge of the Dell. I abandon my bike and kick my shoes off. If this was going to be done, it had to be done properly.

My eyes fill with the image of the creek and I wonder how I could possibly be away from this all for so long. The water's calm, like it always is, and very full. I can see my watery reflection in the clear blueness of the creek as I look over the side of the bridge. I smile at my second face, wobbling like jelly within the water, before glancing at the willows on either side of the creek, and the trees beyond them. It is very good to be home.

I stand on the ledge of the bridge and close my eyes, letting the wind pull me. I feel the edge of the wall with my toes and smile a small smile. Then I jump.

Half an hour later I'm soaking wet, my hair dripping down the back of my neck, cycling back through the gates to Pemberly

I ride through the gates and smile as the mansion comes into view. I remember the deal I made with Greg, to let him be the first to see me. I grin as I also recall me promising to give him a surprise. And so I decide to take the back route.

I scramble off my bike while it's still in motion, creeping over to the kitchen door, creaking it open slowly. What I see makes me stand up straight with shock. My hair drips; the droplets hitting the floor seem to be the loudest things in the room. Everything else has gone silent. Completely silent.

**Nate**

Shit. That's honestly the first thing that come into my head when I see her. She stands right in front of me, soaking wet in a white dress. A _white dress_. The sunlight's glowing from behind her making her look like an angel. Her beautiful figure seems to be mocking me. You could've had this, its saying. But you threw me away. And I'm gonna make you pay.

The room's silent and I see Patti look from me to Vee, delight hiding not to well behind her hands. I focus on Vee's hair, dripping slowly onto the tiles. I can't get over how drenched she is.

She looks almost scared for a second, and I wince. Was what happened really that bad? She's the first to recover. Her smile lights up the room.

'Nate,' she says, with so much warmth I'm surprised for a moment. I feel my mouth open.

'I-,' I start to say, but am cut off as a tall, lanky guy slams open the door.

'How dare you!' he accuses loudly, pointing to Vee, smiling all the while.

She immediately grins.

'Dare? What would I dare to do?' she asks mischievously.

'You came the back way, almost as if you were planning something…' he says suspiciously.

'Surprise!' she says with a grin. He grins right back and charges at her. She laughs as he knocks her outside with a bear hug.

'I missed you so much!' she exclaims.

Patti laughs and shakes her head.

'Those two. I swear, it's like they haven't seen each other for decades instead of mere months.'

'That's Greg then?' I ask. Patti nods enthusiastically.

'Yes. When Vee lets you see him properly, you'll be able to tell.'

We hear a squeal, and a laugh. I peer out the door and see Greg spinning Vee in a circle.

I stand up suddenly. This is all too much; I have to get out of here.

'Look Patti, thanks for showing me around and everything, but I'd better get back. I've got a curfew. Must be back before lunch.'

Patti looks disappointed but nods and says she understands. She says goodbye and I make my own way to the side door. I feel like a walk. I slip outside, making my way slowly to one of the fields.

'Nate!' I cringe as I hear light footsteps. I turn to see Vee, white dress and all, running determinedly after me.

'Don't leave yet,' she calls, a smile still on her face. She slows down to a walk as she nears me. She frowns a little and shakes her head. 'Sorry. I mean… umm, you can stay if you want to.' She sounds so eager it almost makes me say yes.

'I'm so sorry, I've got to meet my uncle…' I trail of as she looks to the ground. I might be seeing things, but it almost looks as if she's disappointed. She returns with a smile though.

'Are you having a nice trip?'

'Yes, very nice,' I say, almost wincing at how awkward this is. 'Look, Vee, I'm so sorry for intruding. Patti said that the house was open for viewing, I had no idea…' I trail off, looking down at my feet.

'No, no that's fine,' she gushes. She too looks down at her bare feet, before she asks, 'Are you staying in Leifton?'

'Yes, at the hotel, The Yellow Penguin,' I reply.

She nods and smiles briefly at me. 'Would you like me to drop you there?'

'No,' I say quickly. I swear silently to myself as her face falls at my abruptness. 'No,' I say, making her look up. 'I mean… I'm fine walking.'

She smiles letting me relax a little. 'Yes, I know.'

'Umm, I'd better be going then.' I say, mentally hitting myself for being the one that's made this so awkward.

'Goodbye,' she says, and I smile back before turning and walking quickly down the steps.

**Vee**

'So is that him?' Greg asks, coming behind me as I watch Nate begin to pick his way over the hills of Pemberly.

'Yes,' I say, sighing and turning back to face him. 'That's him.'


	14. The One Photograph

**Another A/N: **I KNOW I'VE ALREADY POSTED THIS CHAPTER! I'm not going crazy or anything, but my alerts weren't working for ages so I wanted to make sure everyone got it. So for the people who have already reviewed, I'm sorry. Please review.

**A/N:** okay, so I know I've been ages and I know that you don't want excuses… but really this time it wasn't my entire fault. I'm not blaming it on my beta, I'm blaming it on her teachers. Seriously, they do not give people in her year a break at anytime. So that's the reason it's so late, and she says she's really sorry about it. The next couple of chapters might be a while to come because she's still stressed out, but I think it's better to have her than to not. So thanks for reading.

**The One Photograph**

**Vee**

I take a deep breath and crouch down, the rabbit looks at me, the grass swaying slightly. I click the shutter, waiting for the second click to come to signal the picture has been taken. I've put it on a slow shutter. The click comes after the grass sways. I look at the picture that comes up. The rabbit is looking intently at the camera, the grass a green blur behind it. I smile as the rabbit bounds off.

I quickly check my watch; I should head back. Nate's coming soon. The day after I arrived I walked into town, my sole purpose to see him; to try and make it up somehow. I met his aunt and uncle, if you could call them that. I guess it's because they are so unlike the typical ideas of aunts and uncles. They act as if Nate is their best friend, rather then their nephew. They had said they were staying a week, so I asked Nate if he could come over. He had agreed, after much hesitation on his part, and a convincing argument that Greg wanted to meet him on my part.

I walk back over the green hills, and decide to take a detour through the wisteria walk. The purple flowers dance in the wind, their petals falling softly to the ground. I can see Nate coming down the drive as I come over the last hill.

'Nate!' I call. He turns and sees me, smiling as he waves. I run towards him, my camera heavy in my hands.

'Hey,' he says calmly, his hands resting in his pockets.

We stand awkwardly facing each other.

'Come on in, I'm dying for a drink, what about you?' I say.

He smiles and nods. I see the relief in his eyes, but decide to ignore it. I make him some ribena and sit on the stool beside him. He takes a sip and grins.

'A little bit of home, eh?' he asks.

I smile and nod.

'Greg is in love with this stuff, but he's not to sure about Vegemite.'

He laughs. 'So, do I get to meet Greg properly?' He takes another sip.

'Oh, he'll make himself known when he's ready.'

We relax, and sit in comfortable silence, finishing our drinks. I gently put down my glass once it's finished, and take his over to the dishwasher. I take my time, trying to work out how I would ask him what I wanted to ask him.

'Um, Nate, there actually was a reason I wanted you to come over.'

He looks surprised. 'What? It wasn't just for the taste of home?' he asks, raising his eyebrows to make it clear he was joking.

'Um, no.' I smile embarrassedly. 'I actually have a huge favour to ask.'

'Yeah?'

I smile sheepishly. 'Patti told me that she showed you my body of art.'

He nods. 'It's really good.'

I blush at the compliment, but duck my head so he can't see. 'Well, it's not exactly finished.'

He nods, understanding. 'You want my photo.' It's not a question, and I silently wonder at how he knew.

'Yes,' I say, sounding much more confident than I feel. My chest constricts as I wait for him to answer, hoping desperately he'll agree.

He leans on one elbow and looks my straight in the eye. 'Sure.' I let out my breath, but freeze at his next words. 'However, there might be a slight problem getting me to cry. I don't think I've cried since I was…' He looks down. 'For a long time, anyway.'

I smile. 'That's fine, Nate. Some people don't realise it, but you don't have to be crying here,' I point to his eyes, 'to be crying here,' I place my hand over his chest, and feel him immediately tense up. I pretend not to notice or care. I take my hand away.

'Are you sure you still want to do this?'

He watches me carefully for a second, but nods. 'Okay.' He smiles, letting me know that it's all alright.

I grin, and turn away to clean some spilt cordial on the counter.

'I've got one question for you though,' he says. I look over my shoulder and nod, waiting for him to continue. 'How did you get Patti and Greg to cry?'

I shrug. Both were so completely different.

'I just…talked to them.' It's not much of an answer, but it's the truth. He smiles again, glancing outside where the heat of the sun has cooled.

We end up at the field where I was taking the photo of the rabbit. We lie down, and look at the clouds for a couple of minutes. I take a photo of Nate's face, obscured by the long grass.

'I thought you had to take a photo of me when was sad,' he reprimands with a laugh.

'You have to get used to the camera first, otherwise you'll feel violated.'

The shutter goes off again. I twiddle with the many buttons and focus the camera again. I take photos of the sky, the grass, anything to avoid asking him to cry. I can't believe he's actually agreed to do this. I'm still feeling so awkward about the two of us, together and not fighting, just being.

'Vee,' he says leaning over to me as I take another photo of the oak trees in the distance. I love the way he says my name. 'I don't mind.'

I swivel around so I can face him. He says it so lightly, and calmly, as if he's ready to take on the world. I still feel obtrusive as I study him, wondering where to start.

'Have you ever cried?' I ask, thinking that a blunt approach is better than dancing around it. I don't know exactly how I'm going to get him to open up. He looks stiffly at me, and I know this is going to be harder than I thought.

His eyes close off, and his face becomes blank. If only I were a painter, and could colour the emotion on the white canvas that is his face with brushes. But I am a photographer at heart, and somehow I have to get him to open up, to let me capture the painting his face will create all by itself, if only for a second. Somehow it's more real that way.

'Yes,' he says simply. I take a photo and sigh down at it. It looks sad, but guarded. His eyes come out morbid and I'm almost frightened by their depth.

'You have to trust me Nate,' I say. He nods, but looks away.

'Can you focus on one time that you truly cried?'

The corners of his mouth turn down as he nods again.

'Can you tell me?' I whisper. He can't look at me, his eyes flitting at anything but my body, my eyes…The deep silence envelops us and I know that we're getting somewhere. This is it. He's going to let me in. He brings his legs to his chest, curling himself into a little ball, and shakes his head almost minutely. My mouth goes dry as I realise that this is it. This is Nate crying.

So I take the photo, peering from behind his shoulder to see the wide landscape his eyes aren't focused on, his eyes dark on such a bright day.

'Enough,' he says quietly, and I grab his hand impulsively, squeezing it to let him know that I understand.

So we sit like that, in silence, our hands entwined, watching the clouds go by.

**Nate**

'What makes you smile?' I ask sometime later.

She smiles and gets up excitedly.

'Come with me,' she whispers, and takes off at a run.

We end up at the bottom of a hill, where a swing set stands out of place. She leaps onto one of the sings and is off, her eyes closed with pleasure. I sit beside her and start swinging as well.

'I was the champion swinger at school,' she boasts, her face full of excitement. I laugh.

'No,' she says, opening her eyes, 'I was.'

She continues swinging until she is horizontal to the bar; parallel to the ground.

'So is this you're favourite thing to do?' I ask.

'No!' she scolds, 'this is.'

And then she jumps.

**Vee**

My body goes flying, soaring into nowhere. My body feels out of balance, and I wish that gravity didn't have to stop me. But it inevitably does.

I land with my knees bent. I take a little jump, and then sprint as fast as I can to the long grass. I hear Nate thump down as he jumps too, and runs after me.

I laugh. My body still feeling light and bubble, a side-effect from the jump.

Nate tackles me to the ground, and I laugh harder. We tumble around until he pins me to the ground, laughing as well.

He realises how close we are before I do, and I can feel the tension build. He coughs uncomfortably, but his eyes still twinkle. It's then that it comes to me.

'You've ruined it,' I whine. I hadn't wanted it to come out like that, but it did. He frowns, and rolls off me.

'Ruined what?' he asks, rolling off me, his cheeks blushing slightly.

'The photo,' I answer, touching the soft skin around his eyes. They flutter closed for a moment, and then snap open again.

'How?'

'Your eyes twinkle. That's you. It's what makes you. It's taken away from you when you're sad. It just doesn't work! I can't have a photograph of you that isn't you.' It doesn't come out harsh, more a confused reaction. He frowns and looks out to the distance.

'Does that mean you want me to pose again?' he asks.

I lean back, a frown now on my face.

'No,' I finally say. 'I think I asked you the wrong favour.'

He raises his eyebrow. 'What would've been the right favour, then?'

I turn and look him straight in the eye. 'Taking the photo of me.'

He leans back too, his eyes working something out beneath the crease in his brow.

'When?' is all he asks.

**Nate**

She sits on the swing, her back to me. She told me that she'd be a minute. That was after she explained why she needed me to do it. She didn't have to explain: everything she wanted to express through her words was conveyed through the stilted way she told me why she wanted the photo to be taken. But she did. And I really didn't mind. I didn't mind taking the photo; I didn't mind listening to her reasoning. All of this…it's the least I can do after accusing her of so much.

My thoughts are cut off as she turns to face me, silent heavy tears streaking down her face. She merely nods; I take the photo. The shutter clicks. Her pose, her eyes, all of her seems to challenge the camera. Challenge my eye behind the lens. The shutter clicks again.

'You have to include a self-portrait in this body of work. I need you to take the photo. I can't let Greg do it,' she had sighed here, 'I don't want him to see me cry again.'

I hadn't said anything about that. It was her personal opinion; it didn't matter how wrong I thought it was.

'I can't let Patti do it, because she's so fragile.' And here she stopped speaking abruptly, and looked at me, as though wishing me to say something to stop her from continuing.

'Okay,' I had murmured, receiving a thankful smile.

Her body's shuddering now, and the tears come faster. She never takes her eyes off the camera. I snap away like she told me to. But her eyes - they're so full of pain and hurt, and I want to make everything better for her.

She makes a small sound, but quickly clamps her hand over her mouth. She looks away from the camera, and I immediately put it down. I stand and pull her towards me, letting her head rest on my chest.

There she sobs, and sobs. I don't whisper words of advice, or even sweet nothings. Instead I just hold her close, stroking her hair. Wishing her pain would stop.


	15. The Phone Call

**A/N: **Sorry it's so late. I didn't want it to be. Please forgive me.

**The Phone Call**

**Vee**

It isn't awkward between Nate and I after my breakdown. And I'm grateful for that. For him just being the way he is; for not making a big deal out of it all and for not asking any question.

I take him back to the house and make a brief detour to the dark room where I put my camera, and then I take his hand and lead him up the many staircases to Greg's room.

'Babe?' I ask, opening the door. Greg is lying on his bed, reading an already worn down Rolling Stone magazine, his long limbs hanging off the rickety frame. He smiles at me and chucks the magazine down, getting up.

'And to what do I owe the pleasure of having you in my humble lair?' he asks, winking at me. I laugh at him and hit him playfully on the shoulder.

'There's someone I want you to meet,' I say, and drag Nate into the room.

'Ah. The man who needs no introduction.' Greg grins and claps Nate on the back as if they have been friends since the beginning of time. Nate smiles back happily at him.

'Greg,' Nate says. I don't think you need this, but keep it if you want.

'So,' my brother says, sitting down and tucking his gangly legs underneath him. ' I've heard you're one good batsman.'

'What did Vee tell you?' Nate says laughing. Greg raises his eyebrows at me, hearing my nickname.

'She told me you have the best swing she'd ever seen.'

I want to smack my little brother upside the head, but instead I let my head fall into my own hands, blushing furiously. How is it possible I love my brother so much?

'Well, that I don't understand, I could hardly have the best swing when we were playing in a backyard. Sure the area was big, but not that big,' Nate raises an eyebrow at me.

'Oh, I never said that. I said that you have a _good_ swing.'

Nate nods at me knowingly. 'Ah. That makes all the difference.'

I continue to ramble, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. 'And then I went on to tell brother dear here that…'

Nate and Greg just laugh at me and I give it up as a lost cause, shaking my head at the two of them.

Nate gets up from where he was sitting beside Greg and looks at a photo I took of Greg at his first district match on the mantelpiece.

'Wow,' Nate says, exclaiming at the action shot. 'This is amazing.'

'Vee gave it to me,' Greg says proudly. I blush as both boys turn to look at me. 'You shouldn't have,' he accuses. 'It would've been perfect for your portfolio.'

'It would've been waster there,' I say with a smile. Greg smiles back at me before rolling his eyes dramatically huffing under his breath.

'Look you two, stay up here while I get us some drinks,' I say and tumble down the stairs. Smiling all the while.

**Nate**

Greg grins at me as Vee leaves the room. 'So, you and Vee huh?' he asks, teasing me. I roll my eyes at him but he keeps going. 'Heard some interesting stories about you, mate.' His tone is light, but I know underneath the joking exterior he really cares about Vee.

'Yeah, well.' I hang my head. Greg, really just a stranger to me, has this presence that makes you only want to please him.

'I don't blame you. My sister judges harshly. But she has her reasons. I don't want her to get hurt, Nate.' He looks at me straight in the eye. 'She's had her fair share of problems.'

The way he's looking at me, I know that he knows I know. And, more than anything, I don't want to disappoint him.

'I don't want her hurt either.' I say quietly, and when I see his face relax I know that I've passed his test.

Then Vee comes in with the drinks, and the tension drops.

After barely an hour with Greg, I fell like I've known him a lifetime. He has that easiness, and treats you like you are the most important person in the world, listening intently to everything you say. Vee is so proud of him. She's happy just to stay silent, so she can watch him.

She walks me back to Leifton talking and laughing; her slow stroll comfortable. She greets Bea and Rod as though they are old friends, and immediately babbles to them about our day, smiling all the while. As Rod and Vee start to talk about their favourite photographers Bea look between me and Vee.

'What?' I ask. She smiles and comes to sit beside me.

'She's gorgeous,' she says. I look at Vee, her eyes alight with excitement, her hair swaying about her in a sea of waves.

'Isn't she?' I say with a sigh. My phone vibrates in my pocket, making my whole leg buzz. I look at the screen and see 'James' flashing at me.

'Take it,' Bea says with a smile. 'She'll be fine here.' I glance at Vee and Bea looks indignant. 'We don't bite, Nate.'

I laugh at her and make my way to the veranda outside the room we're renting. The Yellow Penguin wasn't quite what most people in Australia would call a hotel. It was more like a series of cottages, built out of sandstone. They each had their own personal history, and came with a booklet on the subject.

'Hello,' I call into my phone. The crackle of James' voice returns.

'Nate? How are you?'

Even though there's a delay because of the reception, I know that it hasn't distorted his voice completely. He sounds distressed.

'What's wrong James? What's happened?'

'Do you mind coming home early?' he asks, desperation in his voice.

'Not if it's important. James, just tell me what's wrong,' I say impatiently.

James explains to me, his voice grave. It's all spinning at a crazy speed around my head before he's even finished telling the story.

My back hits against the wall and I slide down slowly.

'What?' I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

'Liam is missing. He and Grace caught up and went to a party together last night and haven't been seen since.'

I rub my hand over my eyes.

'When did you find out?'

'They called at midday today after they hadn't seen Liam, and none of his friends could get onto him.' I sigh my head throbbing. 'Nate, could you come home? We need you. Tim's going ballistic, Mum's already gone up to sort it out, and Dad's driving us all insane.'

'Yeah, I'll leave as soon as I can. I'll give you a call when I know. See you soon.'

'Nate?' he says, just before I hang up.

'Yeah.'

'Thankyou.' Then he hangs up, leaving me with the disengaged phone line, beeping continuously in my ear. The phone goes limp in my hand and I drop it to the floor so I can rub my eyes.

**Vee**

I slide the door open, and look for Nate. He'd been outside for over an hour. I glance to the side, and see him, hunched over, leaning against the wall, his head in his hands.

'Nate?' I ask quietly. His head moves up slowly. He looks ruined. He stares at me intensely, and looks like he's pondering whether to say something. He sighs and opens his mouth.

'Liam went up to the Gold Coast, he met up with Grace at a party. They haven't been seen since.'

My breath sucks in sharply in shock. He rubs his hands over his eyes.

'I have to go back to Sydney; my family's going crazy.'

I go over to hug him, or just to let him know that I'm here, but he turns away from me.

'I'm sorry,' I hear him whisper. I move my hand away from him.

'Has anything been done to find them?' I hear myself ask, though I can't quite remember forming the question in my mind.

'Yes, my mum's gone up to look for them.'

'This is all my fault,' I say, placing my hand over my mouth. 'I should have…' but Nate cuts me off, taking my hand and holding it in his.

'That's not true and you know it. If I had bothered to be open with my family, this wouldn't have happened. But it's done now, and all we can do is look for them.'

I nod mutely, and feel my hand drop, I immediately want him to take it again, to make me feel better about all this. I feel insanely guilty.

'I should go,' I say, avoiding his gaze, whishing that I could say the right things, instead of the jumble of tangled words that are spinning around my head. He touches a hand to my cheek and holds my gaze.

'Thanks, Vee.'

Then I leave, going through the back door after a brief goodbye to Bea and Rod, leaving Nate to tell them the news.

**Nate**

I don't think I've ever packed so quickly. Bea and Rod insist on coming with me and through the chaos at the airport, I have time to ring James and tell him what's happening.

I can't help but think of Vee's face when I told her. It was like all that she had assumed had come true. My family was really what she expected. It was a face of horror, and of disappointment. And I know that more than anything, there's now no way I have a chance with her. And as much as I'd like to deny it, I know that it upsets me.

My family goes straight into action as soon as I come home. Bea and Rod go to help Mum up the coast, and my dad rings all his friends. The rest of us try to live as normal as possible. As normal, at least as you can get without Liam.

**Vee**

'Hello?' the voice crackles on the other end of the phone.

'Ben?' I ask. He swears.

'Vida,' he mocks, 'What are you doing calling me?'

His tone sends me into a spin. I hated him even before I'd ever met him, but that was ages ago.

'You know where Grace is, and you are going to tell me.'

He scoffs.

'I think not, Icey. Why would I do that?' I wince at him returning to my old nickname.

'Well, you see Benny Boy, I have some stuff on Grace. Apparently she needs to go and get a check up at the clinic. If they find that she's been doing any of the stuff she used to be… well lets just say that she won't be coming back to Australia for a while.'

He growls.

'Why would that make me tell you where she is?' his voice has lost his sharpness, and I know that he's anxious for his cousin.

'Because if you don't, I'll have to come over there myself. And you wouldn't want me to do that, would you? I could just let slip to your mother about what you, no doubt, are growing in that stinky little garage of yours.'

He lets a string of swear words out before sighing.

'You can reach her on this.'

He gives me the number and I dial, listening to the phone ring twice before hearing her familiar voice.

'Hey Grace,' I say.

'Vida?' she asks sharply. I hear a voice in the background ask who it is. She ignores them.

'Now, it doesn't matter how I got this number, all that matters is that you are going to do what I tell you to. You are going to make Liam go home and then you are going to pick up your ticket tomorrow morning at nine o'clock and catch a plane to London. Then I will pay for you to finish school at a boarding school. After that you can do what you like. But if I so much as hear a word that you have anything to do with the Bennets, I will find you, and plant you back in that rehabilitation centre before you know it.'

'Is that a threat?' she asks, her voice shaking.

'No. It is an order that you will follow out. Is that clear.'

'Yes.' It is the abrupt answer I get before she hangs up. The disengaged line beeping is loud in my ear as I drop the phone to the floor.


	16. Unable to Forget

**A/N: **THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS. YOU GUYS ROCK!

**Unable to Forget**

**Nate**

Mum books Liam into a counsellor a week after he arrives home. Liam says that he'll pay for it, which sends us all into a spin.

'I just want you guys to understand that I _know_ what I did was wrong,' he tells us, but I don't miss the smirk he sends to Tim a second later.

I try not to over-analyse the look, because of the new term starting at school and whatnot, but there was something about that look that was unnerving. Kind of similar to how it is when Liam does something not completely self-centred.

Liam doesn't come to school until the second week - Dad thinks that he should stay at home and although Mum doesn't believe this as strongly it's already decided. They ban him from any electrical appliances, much to his disappointment, and after finding him stuck to his X-box they make me, the handy older brother, disconnect it.

Despite the fact that even school would be more interesting than what he's currently doing at home, he gloats about it for all it's worth. James and I start to feel stressed that this is our last year of school. The rest of our lives seem to depend on a couple of exams, and it seems like an unfair balance. But at least after this we won't have to put up with high school torture.

Halfway through the term I'm feeling the struggle to maintain a social life while keeping consistent grades. It seems that all the time I have left on the weekends are spent catching up on past homework, or doing unwanted assessments.

Teachers keep telling us to pull our weight and get organised, reminding us almost every lesson about upcoming exams. Meanwhile, the HSC dates are hovering over our heads like an annoying fly that won't go away. For people like James, they simple breeze thought it without letting any stress catch onto them. But for me, I seem to be in a constant state of stress and uptight crossness.

I still keep in contact with Chris and Jacinta. They are having lots of fun down in Bowral and have opened a café with Christian's help. It's named Coffee Beans for all the different variations of coffee they sell. They also sell all types of exotic teas and jams. They sent me a photo. It's a wooden, open shop that's very narrow and old, with lots of Jacinta's artworks hanging up around the place. They're both really happy with it.

Chris every so often comes up for the weekend, and tells me not to stress so much. He calms me down after a tiring week in a way that only he and James can.

I ignore what happened with Grace and Liam entirely. But Liam just doesn't understand when to shut up about it. It's almost as if he thinks it was worth it. He drops it into conversation whenever he can, watching for my reaction. I don't give him one.

He boasts about his adventure with his friends. He doesn't seem to get that it's not a good thing. He doesn't get that it's tearing our family apart. He doesn't get that it's hurting mum. He just doesn't get it.

And then, through all of that, there's Vee. I try not to think about her. It's not as if I want to forget her, I just don't see the point in thinking about her constantly, which I seem to be unable to stop doing at the moment, when I know I probably won't ever see her again. But whatever I do, however hard I concentrate, she's always there, lurking in the back of my mind.

James has stopped talking about Cate. He doesn't say anything about girls in general anymore. I know for a fact that every girl in the school would have jumped at the chance to even talk to him, but he doesn't do that much anymore either. I know that he's still hurt from Cate. He's not going to be able to get over her for a long time. And he's not going to be able to notice any other girl until he does.

Bea and Rod go travelling again after everything surrounding Liam turned out to be okay. They went to Africa, with one of their friends Rebecca, who's starting up a charity in Kenya.

They come back, as always bearing many gifts and happy smiles, but something else this time.

'So,' Rod says, taking Bea's hand and gazing into her eyes, 'We have some important news for you.'

Immediately we start firing accusations at them.

'You're married!'

'You're pregnant!'

'You've bought a car!'

'You've moved!'

'You've adopted!'

Slowly they start to get crazier and crazier as they both sit there smiling at us, waiting for us to get over ourselves. Mum chuckles and says: 'You've bought an elephant!'

Tim rolls his eyes, but Liam gasps.

'I know!' he shouts. The whole room goes quiet. 'You've killed someone,' he says, deathly quiet.

Sometimes I understand why Liam's top of the year in drama. For a moment, I actually think he's serious. Everyone stares at him, and it's hard to tell if they're impressed, or if they think he's a raving lunatic. He says nothing, but shrugs as if to say: it's a possibility.

Then everyone starts laughing.

'What is it?' Dad asks impatiently. Rod and Bea smile secret smiles at each other before turning to us.

'We're engaged!' Rod tells us. Bea beams and holds up her hand, and there on her finger is an engraved wooden ring.

'Very you,' Mum says with a laugh as she examines the ring, while the rest of us shout our congratulations.

'We'd love you all to come to the wedding,' Bea says earnestly. Mum grins at her.

'There's no need to ask,' she assures her, hugging them both.

The rest of the morning passes smoothly, with talk of the pending wedding (Rod asks Liam jokingly to be the ringbearer), and memories of hilarious situations at past weddings.

'It's going to be lovely,' Dad says as Rod and Bea gather their scarves and coats, ready to face the bitter winter wind.

'Hey,' Bea says, turning to James and I for a second. 'Do you mind coming back to our place for the afternoon? There's still some more stuff I'd love for you to see. And you can help us figure out where to put it all.' She waggles her eyebrows kookily at us. We know there's not going to be any room at all.

James and I all but run out of the house for their car. Getting away from our house at the moment is a blessing. Dad yelling at Mum, Mum taking it out on Tim and Liam who find it necessary to get under her skin… it's like pure torture for the whole family.

'Also, our friend is moving in to his girlfriend's house and he asked us to bring some strong arms with us,' Rod adds quickly as he walks out of the door.

'I get it! You're just using us!' I shout good-naturedly at his back and Bea smiles secretly at me.

'But of course. You coming or not?' I just shake my head at her, smiling, before James and I cramp into the back of their Jeep. Bea waves at Mum and Dad as Rod reverses out of the drive.

'Operation Abduct Nephews completed,' she says, and grins at me through the rear-vision mirror. 'Good work on the outrage, Nate.'

Rod pulls up behind a car at the lights. 'So where to now?' he asks.

'Do you have to ask?' James says, rolling his eyes. This is a ritual for us now. It started at the beginning of last year after the stress of high school had finally started to sink in. Once, during our preliminary exams James and I had stayed studying in our rooms the night before our exam, even though Bea and Rod were there. Bea and Rod decided they needed to help us escape our family (and a bit from life) for a little while, so they'd make an excuse to take us away, usually to Nelson Park beach – it didn't matter what weather.

We sit on the steps facing the water, the wind biting at our uncovered cheeks. It's the start of winter and I wonder if it can get any colder. Autumn was freezing enough.

Bea is only wearing a t-shirt and a hat and we all glare at her, all agreeing she is clinically insane.

'Born in Cananda, guys, remember? It was _minus _15 degrees in winter, not a balmy 15 degrees.'

Rod ruffles her head (something she hates), and we all bear out teeth at her for not feeling the cold like we do. We laugh and stare out to the stormy ocean. We sit in silence, before Rod and James start talking about physics, a subject I refused to pick up in year eleven, leaving me and Bea to our own devices.

We go for a walk along the beach, trying to convince ourselves that it will warm us up (or me, as Bea reminds me). It doesn't.

'So, what's happening in the chaotic life of Nathaniel Bennet?' she asks. I groan at her use of my full name, and then smile.

'Nothing, unless you count studying my brain into mush,' I tell her.

'Okay then.' She smiles a small smile. 'Have you heard from Vee?'

My stomach drops. It's a wonder that her name can evoke so many conflicting emotions within me – regret and sadness and desperation and anger… All those things that just went unsaid. How I wish that I could just… I shake my head.

'No. I haven't heard anything.'

I look at the sea, waves breaking over and over one another. The wisps of excess water stream out after every wave. The wind plants my hair at odd directions on my face, and I shield my face to see Bea studying me carefully.

'What?' I ask.

She looks away from me, her hair whipping around her face in the wind.

'She called the other day. She left a message on our answering machine while we were in Africa. She said that she get our number off Chris.'

My throat constricts at her words. All at once I want to know everything there was to know about the message, but also run to the end of the earth so I can wallow in self-pity. Chris could've just given her my number. Why didn't she ask for it? Because she probably didn't want it. She obviously just wanted to talk to Rod about art or something. She's already forgotten me.

I turn abruptly and start walking away from Bea, deciding that the best way to escape this situation is to just run. Because maybe if I run fast then it'll all leave me behind and I can stop thinking about her.

But I think that Bea's thought about this and she takes off after me, catching my hand after only seconds.

I stop and she turns me to face her again. She takes my face in her hands and forces me to look up at her.

'She didn't know what to say, Nate. She just wanted to talk to you. So many things were left unsaid when you left. She sounded sad, talking to a machine instead of you.'

I turn my head away, and this time she lets me go. The information is hurting my head almost more than the mere memory of Vee. I walk away again, the bitter wind tearing at me, like a knife digging into my back over and over.

**Vee**

'Oh,' I say, my surprise ringing down the line. 'I thought you were in Africa.'

'Vee? Is that you?' The soft broken voice crackles through the receiver.

'Yeah, sorry,' I murmur, embarrassed, silently cringing. Damn Chris! He said that they'd be away for another day at least. Bea laughs.

'That's all right. We only got back yesterday. I'm seriously jetlagged, but Rod thinks that the best way to get over it is to throw yourself into the different time. You'd think I'd be used to both his optimism and this jetlag but I don't think I ever will. Anyway, so what's up?'

I groan silently. How could I have possibly let Greg convince me to ring them? Even leaving a stupid message was a bad idea. Bea acknowledges my silence.

'Is it to do with Nate?' she asks quietly. I blush instinctively and duck my head, which is stupid because there's no way she can see me. I clutch the phone tighter to my ear.

'How is he?' These past couple of months have been a complete torment, not knowing if my plan with Grace worked, not knowing if _he_ knows, not knowing if he's forgotten all about me…Although I did get a letter from both rehabilitation centres, telling me that Grace had signed in, and Liam had signed in and out.

Each time I so much as glance at my body of work, he comes to my mind. He won't stop plaguing my every thought. It's driving me insane.

Bea sighs. 'It's hard to say, really. After the whole situation with Liam was sorted out, Rod and I left. He called us a couple of times while we were there… He just didn't seem like his normal self. It seems to me that he's feeling like his family is falling apart.'

I nod, and then murmur with sympathy, realising yet again she can't see me. I know that Nate's family is terribly important to him, even though he complains about it good naturedly sometimes. I want to learn more about how he's doing, though, after being in the dark for so long.

'I guess he's finding everything a bit hard. He and James aren't talking as much anymore, I don't think. The stress of their last year has finally hit them. And I think in ways James is still hurt about Cate.'

I'm almost positive she doesn't know anything about my involvement with all that, but it still hurts. I have to sit down and take a deep breath. Knowing that I did something that could be hurting Nate so much…

'But apart from that they seem okay. Liam's still going to the counsellor, and I think he likes it there.'

'So Grace provided the money for Liam's rehabilitation?' It sort of slips out before I realise that I'm not meant to know anything like that. I cringe as Bea stays silent for longer than normal.

For a moment I think of just hanging up, but then she coughs and it makes me pause.

'You helped, didn't you?'

It's all she has to say and then it all pours out. She didn't demand to know, and it wasn't a question, but I want her to know. I trust her and I want her to know.

'I called Grace. I told her that she had to come back to England, that I would pay for her airfares and that she would deliver Liam to his home. When she came home I tried to make her pay for Liam's rehabilitation. She said she didn't have enough so I paid instead and sent monthly cheques to Liam.'

Bea's silent for a moment, all I can hear is her breathing.

'He said that he'd pay for it, to show us that he knew that what he did was wrong.'

I groan.

'How was that possible? You wouldn't have access to your inheritance yet, would you?'

'I don't. I get an allowance once a week. Our accountant looks after money for clothes and food. I started a saving for a charity when Mum died for cancer victims. I took the money out of that account to pay for it. I've been saving for a while so I had enough.'

There is silence on the other end of the line, and for one moment, for one single moment that I will never forgive myself for, I wish that I hadn't told Bea anything. I wished that I had never met Cate, that the thought of going on exchange had never even crossed my mind, that none of this had ever happened

And then I realise what I have just thought and want to slap myself for thinking that. Because in that next moment I realise that Bea is crying.

'Are…Are you okay?' I ask.

'Oh, Vee. That's amazing. You're an amazing person, Vee.'

And at this particular moment, at this particular time, that means the more to me than anything anyone has told me.


	17. Home is Where the Heart is

**A/N: **So I know it's been a while, but I hope you all like it. I'm almost at the end, and it's sort of freaking me out. As always a big thankyou for those who review, and a special mention to my lovely beta.

**Home is Where the Heart is**

**Vee**

Five minutes after I hang up from talking to Bea, Greg comes and takes me by the hand. He leads me outside into the cold afternoon sunshine. We walk in silence, enjoying each other's company.

We end up at the dell. Walking along beside the creek that bubbles through the tall dark trees, just laughing and talking. We walk and walk, and then stop.

Before us is our house. The house we spent three weeks of our life making. The three weeks that we celebrated the fact that one day we would grow old, and live somewhere that might not be in Pemberly.

Greg squeezes my hand, and opens the tiny door. We crawl through and sit facing each other. I love the roof, open to the bright blue sky; the branches of the walls held together loosely by old kitchen string; the essence of childhood that has been preserved inside this house.

'School finishes in a week,' he says. There is no disappointment in his voice, nor any excitement. It seems he's just simply letting himself get used to the idea. I nod, stroking he inside of his palm with my thumb. He looks down at our hands, grasping for the right words. When they finally come, I know exactly what he's talking about, even if he's saying it in an absurdly abstract way, for Greg.

'I know that you would never ask to do it, Vee.' I look back up at the sky, letting his words sink in. 'You have things that need to be fixed in Australia. And I think we have to get used to the idea that we can't have this – us, at this age, at this time, together like this – forever. All of this will change – it's bound to – when you leave school. It won't be for the worse; we could and would never let that happen. But it will change. And we have to get used to that.'

I nod, waiting for him to continue while his eyes search mine. He wants to say something else; I know he does.

'I think you fell in love over there. And I'm not just talking about Nate…' At this he gives me a wry smile that makes me want to hug him and smack him upside the head at the same time. 'I'm talking about travel – immersing yourself in a totally new place… Maybe you just fell in love with Australia – all of it. It's not as if you could ever fall out of love with Pemberly. Or the things within it. But I just think that if you don't go now, and discover all those new exciting things, then you might regret it. And then you'll just be cooped up in Pemberly, and you may grow to despise this place. And you can't let that happen.'

I squeeze his hand and curl up to him, his large arms folding around my small frame.

'So go, and don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just, you know. Give me a call once in a while.'

**Nate **

'So, just as she's started setting some more stuff up for us, she gets this phone call, right?' Liam's voice escapes through the crack of his closed door, and I pause, my hand raised and ready to knock on the hard wood.

'She goes all quiet and listens really carefully. Then she goes white and her eyes grow really wide. Then she says, as if she can't even believe it: Vida.'

My entire body, like it does every time I hear her name, stops working. My breaths become shallow, my hand falls back by my side, and I quickly press my ear against the door to hear more.

'No way!' Tim exclaims loudly. I want to hit him over the head with something, actually I want to hit them both over the head with something, but I'm too preoccupied. I need to hear the rest of this story.

'Yeah. So I can't believe it either, right? I call out and ask who's on the phone.'

Tim laughs.

'And then the bitch completely ignores me and stays silently for a really long time, turning away from me. Then suddenly she takes in a really deep breath, almost like a gasp. Then she says, "Is that a threat?" And her voice is low and all, right?'

I slide down to the floor, not knowing if I want to find out the rest. My head is spinning, and in a bout of extremely unmanly and uncommon nausea, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

'Then she says, "yes". And it wasn't the sort of yes like, yes, I'll have sex with you, it was the type of yes, you bitch. Anyway, then she hung up so hard I thought she was going to break the bloody phone.'

I can tell through the door that Tim is hanging off Liam's every word, even though he's probably already heard the story a million times.

'So then what happened?'

'Then she's packing her bags, running round like a maniac screaming at me to get out. So I grab my stuff and meet her in the car. Then she drives me back to the airport, and before I leave she tells me that she's never going to come back to Australia, and so I'd better not try and contact her.'

There's silence for a while, as though they're both wondering what on earth Vee could have said to make her act so fast.

'So, did you ever hear from her?' Tim asks, his voice half-bored from the fact that there's no more story to hear.

'Yeah, she rang about a week after I came back on my mobile. She didn't even say hello. Just, "your parents are going to send you to a counsellor. Tell them not to worry about the cost of it all, and that you've got the money for it. You'll get a cheque every month to cover it." And then she hung up.'

There is so much silence, aching silence, that all I can hear is the deep thudding of my heart.

'But that wasn't the end of it. The first cheque I got wasn't from Grace. It was in Davida Darcy's name.'

And that's when I get up, and get away from the door as fast as I can.

**Vee**

The last week of exams go so fast I feel like I'm barely grasping on the mere memories they leave behind. The formal comes and goes, leaving me with tears and faded memories of times that have passed. I get acknowledged for my major artwork and it's put up in an exhibition. They look so great, hung up around a room that is plain white. The black frames contrast against the bare white walls, which makes them look all the more realistic.

And then suddenly it's time. Time to decide what to do with the start of this new life. I know that I want to go and set up a charity in Africa for the disadvantaged children there, and I decide that I should try and talk to Bea and Rod's friend in Kenya. I know I want to go back to Australia, and maybe even complete an arts degree there. Sydney University does have the fifth best humanities department in the world.

But after that…

I want to do something more with this life. I want to keep close to Greg. I want something big to happen. I want to have more adventures, and have more stories to tell… but who knows what will happen.

I promise Patty and Greg that I will come home for Christmas at least, and then they let me get back on the jet, and sail away from everything I have ever known, into a world that is now filled with so many possibilities it makes my heart race with excitement and fear.

**Nate**

The holidays come as a relief, after a stressful couple of final weeks spent cramming for all the assessments and exams. Preparing and losing sleep over dramatic monologues is not my favourite way to pass the time, especially when I know that there are private school kids out there that have finished all their assessments three weeks previously and are now wandering about feeling that feeling commonly known as 'assessment weight' lift off their shoulders.

This private school thing becomes even worse when we hear news that Cate, James' Cate, is back in Sydney.

We know nothing about why, as Dad is still bitter towards their family for the whole up-and-leaving-without-Cate-saying-goodbye-to-her-future-husband-I-know-it's-early-but-just-wait-and-see-she-and-James-will-have-kids-soon situation.

The problem is that it's started to affect James. He's begun to snap. James, my caring, lovely, never-hurt-a-fly brother, snaps. He yells at anyone and everyone who dare so much as move his exam papers two millimetres in the wrong direction, storms out of the room after long arguments and slams his door loudly so everyone gets the point that he is not one happy man.

I've caught him a couple of times on my balcony, staring into the depths of the pool beneath, as if wishing there would be someone as crazy and as lovesick as him to join him in it, even though it's the middle of winter and freezing.

He only ever mentions Cate once, despite my sly comments that attempt to get him to open up. Even the good old standby, 'you know, James, girls like an emotional bloke' doesn't get him to crack.

He only tells me, 'she hasn't come up with her family. They decided to stay in Melbourne. She told me that she's here for a friend.'

It's so fake, this pretence that he insists on to make sure I think that everything's okay, that someone with a broken heart isn't beside me crawling into a deep dark hole where I can't reach him…

Bea and Rod's wedding is coming closer, falling in the middle of the last week of holidays. They are so excited that every time we see them, all they ever talk about is what the wedding is going to be like. They do still have time to council us though.

'You have to get something done about Cate,' Bea whispers in my ear as she kisses me goodbye to leave. I grit my teeth.

'Don't you think I've already tried?' I ask bitterly.

She smiles sadly. 'I'm sorry Nate. I know you have your own love life still to sort out. But sometimes, we have to suck it up, and do what we always do. Because if we don't, then the change alters the balance, and someone gets lost in the transition.'

She glances quickly at James, making sure I get the picture. I sigh and nod, wishing the last day of school would come closer.

So, the last day of school term I celebrate with the drama group. After the success of the play Puss In Boots, in which I played Mario, Puss' owner, we never really celebrated, so we have a party now. It's fun, and no one really takes into account that the play was showcased at the beginning of term.

We dress up and relax for the first time in weeks. We play stupid geeky drama games that leave us laughing, with a permanent smile stuck on our face for what feels like days. And when I sleep, it's so good I can hardly imagine waking up again.

**Vee **

Somehow, with the different time patterns and the fug of jetlag, I manage to get hold of Cate when I'm staying in Singapore. With one phone call I convince her to come up to see me in Sydney. Mr and Mrs Bingley insist that I use their house while I'm staying, and I'm eternally grateful to them for it.

All I have to say to her is, 'I'm coming back', and immediately she's saying she'll spend her holidays with me in her house.

The plane bumps to the ground, and the excitement in my belly is almost too much to control. I giggle, and the guys next to me rolls his eyes at the picture of pure hysteria unable to sit still beside him.

The hazy horizon reminds me so much of Australia, even though it's mid winter over here, it makes me feel a twinge of something similar to homesickness. I know that Greg was right; I needed to come back here. It's my second home.

And then I'm in Cate's familiar arms, breathing in her smell over the many layers of clothing she has on. She glances at my scarce clothing – scarf tied loosely around my neck, sleeveless shirt and a pair of jeans – and laughs so hard that I start too.

'Do you have more clothes?' she asks as we wait for my luggage to come out. 'My car heater's broken.'

As I begin to get slightly chilly in Cate's car, I gaze around with loving eyes at Sydney – exactly how I remembered it to be, although slightly greyer than it was in the summer. Rugged up and cosy, it looks like it's gone into hibernation.

'So, what happened after I left?' I ask after she's made me a cup of vanilla tea and we're sitting in her room, thick woollen blankets wrapped tightly around us, the heater going full blast.

'Well, you went to boarding school with me and you saw what it was like. I'm really happy there. It's so much easier being yourself and making friends in a place where nobody knows who you are or what you're like. Something you'd know quite a bit about, right?'

I smile and take a sip of the burning fluid.

'Life just went on – although it was boring without you. They're all drilling us with so much information that we have to know for the HSC… I bet you're glad it's over for you.'

'Oh yes. For the first time in ages I feel like I can breathe. It helps being in Australia again, of course.'

She laughs, and it's almost as if she hasn't laughed in ages. It makes me laugh, so now we're just a laughing couple of idiots. When we've dried our eyes she leans over and holds me close.

'I've missed you so much, you have no idea.'

I hug her back and stroke her hair.

'Same here.'

It's funny how you remember things that have stayed lodged in the back of your memory once you're back in a place you haven't been in for a long time. I had forgotten how great Cate's hugs were.

We have a girls' night in, watching all the girly, tears-streaming-down-the-face movies Cate owns. Moulin Rouge, The Notebook, Romeo and Juliet, Titanic. We laugh, and cry, and seem to get a lot closer.

But there's one thing that I can't help but notice. It's her constant flick of her eyes over the house next door. She'll be waiting for her toast to pop, getting more blankets, anything, and her eyes will slowly move to look out the window so she can see their house, always with the lights on and boyish yells making their way across the fence into Cate's house.

With the blankets tight around us at midnight we continue to chatter.

'Are you still in love with him?' I ask quietly. She's so quiet that for I moment I wonder if she's actually breathing.

'Do you want to know the truth?' She sighs. 'I don't think he's ever been off my mind.'

She says it so tragically that I have to move over and give her a fierce hug.

'I guess we have a date with the Bennets tomorrow then,' I whisper.

And as she looks up at me with tearful but excited eyes, I know that coming to Sydney was the best thing that I've ever done.

If not for myself, than definitely for the people I love.


	18. Cakes and Soapflakes

**A/N: **Okay, for those that don't know, if you grate soap it turns into flakes. If you add some water to it, it becomes this gooey mass of amazingly spongy gunk. So, hope you enjoy.

p.s thanks to reviewers and special thanks to the best beta in the world. ; )

**Cakes and Soapflakes**

**Vee **

I can't sleep. I try to convince myself it's only the jetlag, but I know that really it's the thought of seeing Nate tomorrow. The very idea makes my stomach turn with anxiety, hope, fear…and no matter what I do it won't let me sleep.

By five o'clock, I can't see the point in trying to sleep. I get up and go outside, deciding I want to see the sunrise.

But it's not enough. I need to be in the open, far away from this house and the one next door, because at the moment it's making me feel claustrophobic.

With a sudden urgency I pull on one of my fluffiest jumpers and head out into the darkness. I wander the quiet streets, my feet seeming to understand where I need to be even if my head still doesn't.

I trek up a hill, completely devoid of any usual traffic this early in the morning, and a rebellious desire curls through my insides. I stride confidently to the centre of the road, looking down at the red rooves below me, and take a seat. The first rays of sunlight are creeping over the horizon, and I simply sit and watch, overcome with a feeling of content wholeness, like nothing in the world can break me.

Each ray shoots light into different parts of the city. I love watching the light hit the houses, gleaming as the sun catches metal or glass. They look like diamonds, shining and glittering in a field.

When the sun has risen completely I walk back slowly to Cate's, my eyes adjusting to the new, bright light. I once read that although an apple does indeed wake you up in the morning, the sunlight is even more effective as it hits the back of your eye. And I do feel awakened. I feel like I can take on the world.

**Nate**

Bea's message has been going around my head, like an annoying mosquito that simply will not die as you try to sleep in the early hours of the morning. I decide I must take action. James is so stubborn that he won't move. Literally. I know that it's usual for us guys to stay in bed until sunset, but when he doesn't move out of bed to even come to dinner, I know I've got a problem on my hands.

I tell him we're going for a walk and try to pull off his doona. He just punches my shoulder crossly.

'I know what you're trying to do. Don't think that I don't,' he says and rolls over, ignoring everything else I try to say.

So I do the most horrible thing a person can do to their favourite brother when all the said brother wants to do is stay in bed. I get Liam and Tim up to his room. They yell and jump on his bed and are so damn annoying that even I, with a good eleven hours of sleep on me, want to chuck them out.

James, being the King of Self-control, just plugs in his iPod.

And so I turn to Matt.

'If you needed someone to get up, what would you do if they were refusing?' I ask him, watching his careful fiddling with his guitar.

He looks up at me, a sly smile spreading across his face.

Five minutes later, buckets in hand, we creep into James' room. There he lies, deaf to the world because of his iPod. I stride over to him and pull the iPod out of his ears – I don't want him to hate me forever – and Matt throws the first bucket over him. James, blindly clutching at air as he struggles to sit up and recover his iPod, gets completely soaked.

I admire his calm reaction. He simply wipes his eyes, coughs a little, and stands up. 'What the hell is this?' he asks quietly. Matt and I can't help grinning at him – he looks ridiculous – and he storms downstairs to the laundry where he takes a good look at his now very bright pink appearance.

'Just a bit of soap flakes,' Matt says with an innocent smile. I can see James' mouth begin to twitch in the start of a smile, but he pretends to be angry with us. His eyes fall on the rest of the soap flakes. He grabs them and stuffs them in a bucket, filling it with water.

'Right,' he whispers dramatically. 'This is war!'

He runs after us as we scream outside. He chucks handfuls of the sticky goo at us, cackling evilly as it gets stuck on anything and everything. It's freezing outside, wet, but we don't care. Eventually the sounds of screams and us laughing attract the attention of Liam and Tim, and suddenly there is soap gunk everywhere. Soon we are wrestling around of the ground stuffing the icky goo into each other's faces.

There's a cough over us, and before we have time to register it, a shower of water falls down on us. Not to mention the fact that it has ice in it. Everyone screams when they see Mum, and scramble up. She's trying not to laugh, telling us off with bursts of involuntary giggles, but we aren't really listening too well, since we are all standing in our wet clothes, James and I only in boxers, freezing our bums off.

With a wave of her hand she lets us run, yelling, back into the house to warm up, the remains of our fight still lying pink on the green grass.

**Vee**

I seriously start to think she's only staying in bed so she doesn't have to go and see him. I want to wake her up, but I know this is something she has to want to do herself. I can't push her.

And so I bake. I have nothing better to do, and with this house full of ingredients it really would be a waste simply turning on the TV and tuning out to the world.

I bake for four hours before I hear her, stumbling down the stairs, laughing her head off.

'What?' I ask. 'What is it?'

She can't tell me because she's laughing too hard to talk. Instead, she takes my hand and runs back up the stairs to her room. It's then that I hear boyish laughter and yells.

She takes me to her window and I glance down into the opposite garden. There, clad in nothing but their pyjamas, are the Bennets, having the time of their lives chucking pink gooey stuff at each other. I can't help it; I start laughing too. I stop giggling with a hiccup when I see James' lack of clothing, wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxers. Cate could be drooling. I look back down and almost stop breathing as I realise he isn't the only one. Nate is also in nothing but boxers, and it takes all my willpower to stop the voice in my head from saying anything.

When I see Mrs Bennet walk out of the house, a huge bucket in one hand, I almost fall over. The ice cubes are clearly visible from here, and as she pours the whole thing over them, Cate and I collapse onto the floor, shaking uncontrollably with laughter.

Finally, after cramping cheeks and stomachs, we wipe the tears from our eyes.

'That was so funny,' Cate says. I just laugh again.

Eventually we go back downstairs, Cate sniffing the air hungrily.

'What, have you cooked up the whole house?' she asks.

'No,' I say, 'just the good ingredients.'

We eat as much of the cakes and biscuits until we cannot fit anything else in. And then I convince her to pluck up the courage to take a plate of my food to his house…

What I didn't count on was her convincing me to come with her.

But then she's marching confidently to their door and I am trapped, feeling not at all ready for what is about to happen.

**Nate **

By the time we're finally ready to go over to Cate's place I'm convinced that they won't be there because it's nearly the middle of the day. I'm about to march James right over there because I know he won't do it himself, but as I yank open the door, I get a shock of my own. There, with a plate of chocolate chip cookies in one hand, and her other hand raised to knock on the door, is Cate… and behind her is…

I can't breathe. Right on time, James walks down the hallway, a patch of pink gunk still stuck in his hair.

'You ready N-' He gets cut off at the sight of her. Nothing at all exists in his eyes but her, I can tell, and it's the same for her. They don't, and I'm positive can't, say anything.

But I'm more preoccupied with the person behind her. Vee, standing on the pathway, basking in the mid-morning light. I can't help but notice the bags under her eyes, or the tired smile. Or the fact that she's steadily ignoring my gaze.

'Hey Cate,' James whispers, his eyes never leaving Cate's face.

'James,' she murmurs back.

'Come inside, it's freezing out,' I offer. Vee begins to nod but Cate fervently shakes her head.

'Oh, no,' she gushes. 'We'd better go. We just came over to give you these.' She thrusts them at me. I take them, thanking her.

'Vee made them. She's been baking all morning. Couldn't sleep because of the jetlag.' She's babbling, her eyes still trained on James. There is silence again, complete silence. I want her to look at me. I want to know why she won't look at me.

'When did you get in?' I ask her. Her eyes snap up at me, her face expressionless.

'Yesterday.'

Her short curt reply leaves me in shock. What was it about Australia that made her so cold and distant? Why does she keep coming back if this is what she acts like?

'Well,' Cate says, looking about. Then she turns abruptly and leaves. Vee shoots James an apologetic smile, still ignoring me, before running after her, calling her name.

**Vee**

As soon as I see his face again, after he opens the door, the words he said to me the last time I was in Australia come flooding back. All that time that we had together in England just fades away. I can't concentrate on anything but those words…_I am sorry if I have caused you any... agony. I was unaware of it._ I bite my lip and refuse to look at him. What if that happened all over again? What if I was left with a broken heart again? _From the first moment I met you, I thought you were proud and arrogant and your superior hold over others disgusted me. This made me realise that you would be the last person in the world I would willingly go out with._

As Cate leaves with her abrupt excuse, I shoot an apologetic look at James, still refusing to even look at him, and run after her.

She's sitting on the terrace on the outside of the house. Obviously she's run faster than I thought.

'You have to go back,' I say. Her head snaps up.

'I know,' she says quietly. 'Did you see his face? He was so shocked. I need to go over there and apologise.'

So she paces in front of me, trying to think of the words to say to him… and I sit with my head in my hands, trying to burn those words out of my brain.

**Nate**

James sighs in relief as I close the door again. He leans against the doorway, smiling goofily. After a while he shakes his head, and replaces it with a frown, before walking out of the hallway.

Somehow, word travels of our encounter with the girls, and soon, my family congregates in the kitchen, interrogating me, while James sits in his room, completely oblivious to it all. After this morning, I think my family feels untied for the first time in years, and we all gather round the kitchen counter, gossiping and scoffing down the biscuits Cate and Vee brought over.

They fire questions rapidly to me, wanting to know every tiny detail. I play the suspense game for as long as I can, which almost kills them. Liam ends up writhing on the floor from the sheer lack of excitement in their meeting.

In midst of the interrogation, Rod calls. Dad exclaims the news over the top of the rest of us yelling it out too. We are so lame but I wouldn't exchange this for all the world.

After Dad finally gets the news out, I steal the phone and lock myself in my room, away from girlish squeals from Liam and Tim. There I explain slowly and carefully what happened. As I tell him, he shouts it out to a giggling Bea. Once all the news is out, he declares they'll be over there as soon as they can to celebrate.

Personally, I don't know the big fuss about it, but the pure idea of James being as happy as he was at Christmas once more is enough to make me forget the ridiculousness of it all, and just concentrate on that.

Sometime in the mid-afternoon Liam comes scrambling into the living room where we are talking amongst ourselves, the TV on mute in the background.

'She's here!' he whispers dramatically, and then the doorbell rings.

Nobody moves. I can hear James' shallow breathing from across the room. I shoot him a positive smile. He looks sick. Dad looks at the door, to at James and then back again. Mum sighs, and looks pointedly at James. He sinks further into the couch, shaking his head.

'I am not getting that,' he mutters through clenched teeth. Tim and Liam roll their eyes at each other.

'You owe me one,' I say, getting up and going to the door.

I fake surprise as I see her standing there.

'Cate! Come in. We're all in the living room.'

She smiles gratefully and walks nervously, her head down and her hand trailing against the wall.

But I can't concentrate on her. All I can see is the girl standing on the other side of the fence, the wind blowing her hair about, staring straight at me. I don't break her gaze, my eyes indulging in the sight of her, in all her glory, the setting sun illuminating her hair and her pale skin. But then she turns and ruins it all, walking across the road and out of sight.

I walk down the hallway slowly. My fingers follow Cate's path, trailing against the wall. I open the door as quietly as I can and sneak in.

Cate stands in the middle of the room, blushing furiously, her head nonetheless held up high. She looks straight at James, trying to control the deep rose of her cheeks to darken any further.

'It's just,' she says, quietly aware that the whole of the Bennet family is watching her intently, 'I just wanted to…' She looks at James, as though wishing for some kind of relief. She doesn't get it though, and I guess it's the only cruel thing that James is really capable of… silence.

'I was wondering if I could talk to you,' she finally spits out. James stares at her for a while, and the whole of my family is hanging of his reaction. He nods. Everyone grins simultaneously as Dad starts babbling away.

'Take her outside James; the weather is perfect outside at this time. And you'll be able to see the sun set properly.'

It is definitely not the perfect weather at the moment, and is currently so windy they'll freeze this time of night, but James is already halfway out the door, Cate following close behind.

My family, being the stickybeaks they are, rush to the window to see what they're doing. Which is not much: James is listening to Cate, who is waving her hands about and looking rather apologetic.

James' eyes lift from her face to the window and he opens his eyes as to indicate us to move. We immediately run about the room, trying to look normal and calm and not suspicious.

'So,' Liam says lazily. 'Can anyone lip read?'

We make up ridiculous things that they might be saying. Dramatic declarations of love; stories of ponies and fairies. It's kind of like the game we play when we're really bored, when we press the mute button on ads and the person to come up with the most inventive dialogue gets the last chocolate. Or when me and James gets up early to watch the German news, and our still-sleepy brains don't let us actually understand anything, so we just make up what they could be saying.

Bea and Rod arrive, and immediately join in thinking of scenarios. After about half an hour, when the sun has almost set, Matt, who's closest to the window, laughs.

'Come quick!' he shouts, and we all crowd round the window once more, just in time to see James lean down slowly and kiss Cate. We all whoop and cheer and catcall loudly, making them look to us, embarrassed.

We all run outside, clapping them on the back, but the excitement soon dissipates, Liam blowing on his hands.

'Man, it's freezing out here,' James says, and we all troop inside.

Cate stays for a little while, talking to everyone and laughing at our terrible jokes. When she hears that Rod and Bea and engaged she squeals.

'Oh, that's so great!' she says. Bea beams.

'You have to come, Cate,' Rod says. Cate's smile falters a bit; she glances at James who takes her hand confidently.

'Oh, I don't know, I'm really just here for Vee. If she didn't come back to clear up some unfinished business, I'd still be down in Melbourne.' She grins at James, and says cheekily, 'Here is much better, definitely, but it's really up to her, whether she wants me to do anything with her that day and all…'

'Vee's here?' Bea asks, shooting a surreptitious glance at me.

'Yeah, she finished school a month or so ago. Now she's looking for things to do during her gap year. She's trying to organize a breast cancer charity, actually.'

Bea nods. 'She has to come as well! Come on, it wouldn't be as fun without you.'

Cate blushes, and agrees to ask her. With one final goodbye, and a hug for James, she walks out the door.

Later, when we've all gone to bed, James knocks on the wall joining our rooms. I reluctantly get out of bed and quietly open his door.

'Took your time to tell me all the details,' I tell him, laughing as I lie on his floor in front of the heater. He chuckles and relates all to me. His excitement and happiness is contagious, and I can't help grinning. My grin grows bigger when I remember Bea and Rod's wedding in only a week's time.

'I hate Cedric,' James says abruptly, with passion. I look at him.

'You know Cate had no idea that I was in Melbourne? But I saw Cedric four times. Four times! And he forgot to mention that I was there to her. He's a foul dickhead. I hate him.'

I laugh and make a move to get up and back into bed.

'Nate,' he says, making me stop.

'Yeah, mate?' I ask, turning around.

'I think I love her,' he says. I smile.

'Mate, I've known that for a long time.'

I open the door but he calls me again.

'Thanks, Nate.' I turn again.

'For what?'

'For everything.'


	19. The Argument

**A/N: **So this is the second last chapter. It's a bit scary really. I hope you all enjoy, and please review and tell me what you think. Oh and a HUGE THANKYOU to my gorgeous Auriela, who made this chapter perfect.

**The Argument**

**Nate **

'We are all gathered here today…' The priest's words catch in the breeze and float away down to the Harbour. Bea and Rod stand in front of the small gathering, smiling joyfully at each other between the phrases of the old priest, reading from his battered Bible.

The small, cluttered, happy crowd of all of us here are barely in rows, soaking in the beauty of the day and of the ceremony. We're in the Botanical Gardens, standing on a hill surrounded by trees, with a beautiful view of the Opera House and the Harbour just below us. The trees are trembling in the breeze, the golden sunlight making their leaves glint. The grass prickles beneath my feet and I smile. One of the odd things that Bea and Rod choose to do for their ceremony was ask that no one wear shoes. Bea's never liked wearing shoes, even when she was little. She believes they enclose too much of your personality that is already so hidden with layers of clothes, and she didn't want that at her wedding. To hide your personality on a day when you are supposed to be the most honest? Rod was more than happy to oblige, and therefore no one at all is wearing shoes today, not even the priest, with his funny, flabby feet.

Bea has never wanted a traditional wedding. In fact, she told us that before she met Rod she thought she never would get married. Rod was just the same. 'It's too much money!' he would say to Dad. James and I were always glad when he said the same thing over and over. It meant one less wedding to have Dad fussing over us until we were primped and combed into clean, prissy ring bearers. And even now Rod and Bea don't like the idea of spending a huge amount on a wedding, let alone on a dress. So Bea's mother came up with the solution. When Bea was little, she used to wear a worn white nightie to bed, which, as the story goes, she loved because the fabric was so soft. She was horrified when the dress tore one night because it was so old.

Bea's mum thought it would be perfect for Bea to wear something similar to that nightdress, but with a bit more elegance. So she made Bea a simple white cotton dress, pulled in at the waist with a white ribbon. It looks beautiful on her. I can't see her in anything better for the wedding. Rod, trying to look at least a little proper, has his dreads tied back for once. From the way Bea's looking at him I just know she's thinking, 'I am marrying some hot stuff!'.

I tune out of the priest's lulling voice as I look at all the other faces around me. Cate stands beside James, holding his hand. Mum and Dad stand near the front, beaming. Matt's band are standing at the back, looking rather grown up in their tuxedos Dad insisted they wear. The rest of us Bennets stand cluttered around in relatively the same spot, while Bea's parents stand a bit to the back. Then there are all the other friends and family… John, Anna, Pete, Lizzy, Joel, Erica… and even more, some of whom I can't remember meeting. Chris and Jacinta somewhere in the middle. Then, off to one side, smiling that curious smile, is Vee.

I haven't seen her since Cate and James got together. I've seen Cate almost every day, coming to see James, but never Vee. Cate has been saying, almost apologetically, it seems to me, that she's being a prime tourist and visiting all the places she wasn't able to last time, but somehow I don't believe the truth in that story.

If there is one truth, it is that Vee looks stunning today. Her hair falls in waves cascading below her shoulders, bits pulled back from her face so I can see her green eyes, such a contrast to her dark hair. Her dress a midnight blue, floating effortlessly around her in the light breeze. Her feet are bare, tensing and scrunching at the grass. She has her head tilted to one side, and the wind is brushing a strand of hair across her forehead. She glances at me and sees me watching her intently. She holds my gaze, her smile reaching her eyes, until the priest names Rod and Bea husband and wife, and I turn back to see Rod give Bea a huge kiss.

Everyone piles off to the receptions, throwing rose petals on Rod and Bea as they hop into the first car. I can't concentrate on where we're going – I vaguely remember Mum saying something about another garden somewhere in Sydney – but my mind, as always, has drifted back to Vee.

We end up in another garden with a huge marque for dancing. Bea and Rod decided to give Matt's band their first gig, so they set up, tuning their guitars while everyone talks. The food is already set up; mountains of finger food tower over even me, with a cake right in the middle of the table.

I go over to Bea and Rod where Mum is congratulating them for the umpteenth time.

'It was a beautiful ceremony,' I say. Bea gives me an enormous hug and then so does Rod. Matt strikes up the start of a song, and Rod takes Bea's hand to start dancing.

Bea smiles at me. 'I would begin to lecture you about a person who's name starts with V and ends in ee but, hey, I'm married.' She is laughing, but her gaze is serious, and I nod at her.

'Get outta here. Go dance with your husband.' I grin at her as she beams and starts dancing with Rod, swaying to the beat of the music.

**Vee**

I dance. I let the bass run through my veins and take over. I do a wacky Kung Fu Fighting dance with Chris, a swinging jazz song with James, a smooth waltz with George, and a funky hip thrusting rockabilly with Rod. Then I need to go and get a drink. I'm laughing ridiculously; it's so fun, and Matt and his band do great impressions of any song, ranging from the sixties to now. The lead singer Jack does a hilarious version of Justin Timberlake during their break, and everybody is falling over they are laughing so hard.

There is one person I can't take my eyes off. Nate. He doesn't notice, of course, but he seems to have all the girls in the room in a trance. It can't possibly just be me. I'm not missing the adoring looks thrown every which way by girls of all ages whenever he so much as walks by. He isn't afraid to dance, as I know some guys to be, and instead ranges from dorky, jutty moves to real salsa, showing off every so often by twirling his partner around.

Cate is having so much fun. I can't help thinking she and James are like Bea and Rod, only leaving the other's arms when someone else asks them for a dance, and even then with much reluctance. James is smitten. I can't believe that I actually thought for one moment that he only wanted a summer fling. Not only is that nothing like his true character, but also the way he looks at her is enough to know that he would never want to do anything to hurt her, and would protect her from anything and everything.

She sidles up to me, gracefully taking a glass of punch.

'So, how long?' she asks, pointing right at Nate who is doing a dramatic tango with a pretty blonde girl I have been giving dirties to ever since he asked her to dance. I know that I can't act like I don't know what she's talking about; I can't lie to Cate. Not after everything that has happened this past year.

'I hate to even think it, but probably since I admitted I thought he had gorgeous eyes.' She gasps, looking at me with wide eyes. 'What!?'

'I'm sorry Catie, for not having admitted it earlier to you…But it's useless now to even consider it. He hates me, he truly does… I mean, I was in such denial for most of the past year, and then when I didn't see him for six months, I tried to forget about it… and…' She shushes me, and smiles.

'You should do something about it,' she says.

I wince. 'I've tried, trust me.'

'Well, have you asked him to dance?' she asks, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

'It's more complicated then that,' I sigh. She hits me on the head.

'Oh, don't look at me like that. You're being an idiot, and a complete hypocrite. You realise this is exactly what I said last week? Come on. Practise what you preach.'

I smile, and then giggle madly, the image of me in gospel dress singing 'praise the Lord' as I saunter towards Nate too funny not to laugh. But my giggle gets caught in my throat and I choke on my punch. I cough manically, hardly believing that the man coming up to me is real.

Christian De Burge.

I want to hide under the table. But I don't.

'Davida,' he growls in greeting. One of Matt's band members strikes a bad note and the band falls silent. People stop dancing. It's like my first night ever in Australia all over again.

He grabs my arm and pulls me away from Cate. I'll have bruises tomorrow.

'What are you doing here?' he hisses. I glance at Bea and Rod apologetically, but as I turn my head back to Christian my eye catches Nate's. Christian frowns at my silence, and follows my gaze. His frown deepens and he storms over to Nate.

'Christian?' I call, but he ignores me.

**Nate**

'Nathaniel,' he says coldly.

'Christian,' I reply back just as icily.

'A word please, outside.' He looks around the room distastefully. I want to slap him, and then introduce him to the door, but instead I suck it in.

'I think that's a perfect idea, since obviously you have no respect for the wedding that has just occurred.'

He sneers at me as Liam chokes back a laugh, and then I lead him outside. Matt's band doesn't strike up another song; I know they're all listening. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cate dragging Vee into the girls' bathroom.

'How long has Davida been in Australia?' he asks me once we are outside.

'I don't know – a week or so?'

'Do you know why she returned?'

'To finish some unfinished business, I guess.'

He glowers at me. 'Nathaniel, please take this seriously.'

I roll my eyes and he gets even redder with anger, if it's even possible.

'There is a reason for my being here, you know. I wouldn't come to a…' he searches for the right word as he gazes back inside, 'an amateur wedding just "for kicks".' I raise my eyebrows at him. 'And I know that you are just pretending to not know why I am here. Because you're a master at that, aren't you. Lying. Spreading rumours.'

I look at him incredulously, having no idea what he's banging on about. 'Excuse me, but what?'

'You spread the rumour!' he shouts.

'What rumour?' I ask, impatient now.

'The rumour that Davida came back for you.'

'What?' My surprise cannot be hidden. I shake my head, unable to process his words. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Oh, don't deny it,' he says, turning away from me. 'You spread the rumour about you being an item because Davida's a beautiful girl, with money and respectable family, and you just couldn't get her. And, I mean, I knew that it was impossible – after all, what would a relative of the De Burges want to do with someone of so lower a class? It would certainly have an effect on my reputation, not to mention _hers_. Now, I must uncover the truth. Are you, under any circumstance, you dating my niece?'

I am barely controlling my anger so I take it out by mocking his cocky accent. 'How could I possibly be dating her after you've _deemed_ it to be _impossible_?'

He frowns. 'I had to make sure.'

'Well, I'm sorry, but it's none of your business. I suppose if you wish to pursue the matter you could ask your _niece _about it, instead of hassling me!'

He stares at me his mouth half open. I doubt he's ever been spoken to like this before. His eyes crinkle around the corners as he stares angrily at me. It's the sign that I am now about to endure the full wrath of Christian De Burge.

'This is not some silly little game, Nathaniel! I _must_ know. You have to tell me once and for all. Are you dating her?' His words are spoken loud and his tone is so commanding and full of loathing I can't help turn my head. I wish I had the willpower to keep this argument going, but the memory of Vee, on my doorstep, replying shortly to all my questions, after such an intense couple of days in England, must be still raw. I can't hide the emotion in my voice as I shake my head slowly.

'No, I'm not.'

I feel him relax considerably.

'And will you promise never to ask her out, or involve yourself in any way in dating her?'

My mouth drops. I can't believe he's gone into that private territory. I take a step towards him, my anger burning beneath the surface.

'Excuse me, but you have no right to ask something like that.' And before I say anything else that could be potentially damaging to me and to my family, I have to turn away from him; the desire to hurt him is almost too much to bear. I grit my teeth together, breathing in deeply as I try to regain control.

'I don't think you understand, Nathaniel,' he says callously. I want to smack him. 'If my niece was to date someone of your class, my reputation would be destroyed!'

Something inside of me snaps, and I turn back to him, my words loud and furious. 'It is your conceit that prevents you from seeing the truth and the world as it really is, Christian! In this world, in this time, no one at all cares who your distant relative dates! She lives in England, for God's sake! She sees you once maybe every decade! You don't care for her the way that a proper uncle would care for her – you only care for her money and her 'reputation'. But her reputation, nor yours, would ever be so important that it would matter who or who she doesn't date! So no, I will not, and nor will I ever, agree not to date Vee. You have insulted me, my family, and everyone else at this wedding by stepping foot inside this marquee. Please leave. Goodbye.'

He stares at me, cold and hard. 'I have never been treated this way,' he mutters threateningly at me.

'Do you have to have the last word with everything?' I ask. 'Leave! Now!'

And, with nothing else to say, I watch him storm away from me and over to Vee, who I realise has heard our conversation. She's staring at her uncle as if he's an alien, but the look she gives me isn't much better.

He's still walking as he shouts at her, but soon they are so far away I can't make out particular words. He asks her something, and she returns his question with a silent, steely glare. He raises his hands up in anger and walks away.

She turns slightly, and sees me watching her. Her stare chills me right to my bones.


	20. The End

**A/N: **So I feel a bit mixed up and jumbled about posting this since I sort of don't want it to end. It means that I don't really have anything else to do when I've got free time. I just like the characters so much. Anyway, so this is the end. I hope you have all loved it, and come to enjoy the characters as much as I have.

This is dedicated to my poor sick sister, who is recovering from an illness that she is bound to give to me (or already has).

**The End**

**Vee**

I stand, shivering from the cold and shock, trying desperately to understand Christian's frosty words. My skin feels raw from the whistling wind, and when I glance up, Nate is staring at me in his dark, intense way. As I watch him, I finally understand. And it's that which gives me hope and the courage to make my way towards him.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to say, but my stride is determined and, as my dress whips around my legs in the cool breeze, I can see him suck in a breath. The mid-afternoon light highlights his hair with gold and I can't help thinking yet again just how damn cute he is.

I stop a few paces in front of him, watching his jaw stiffen ever so slightly. His eyes ask me what his closed mouth doesn't – why am I here, why am I standing in front of him with this fierce look in my eye. And I wish I could think of a plausible reason. 'I love you' really doesn't seem like something I can say right now, not after my uncle has almost ruined this beautiful wedding and remorselessly insulted Nate.

Nate raises his eyebrows at me when I still say nothing. I look down at the ground, not able to meet his eyes.

'Christian…' I say, hating the fact that my voice is strained. I'm not sure what I'm angrier at Christian for – interrupting the wedding or acting horribly to Nate. I want to apologise, to make things better, but Nate smiles at me, lifting my chin to look at him.

'Hey, it doesn't matter. You can't choose who you're related to.'

I smile back, and realise that this is probably more than we've spoken to each other since I returned to Australia. I don't want to admit that I've been purposely avoiding him, but I don't have to. He pulls his hand awkwardly from my face and returns his gaze to anywhere but my face. I shudder involuntarily from a sudden gust of wind, and he notices, his eyes snapping back to my face.

'Do you want to get inside?' he asks, and I nod gratefully. He leads me back to the marquee; I am ever so pathetically conscious of his warm hand on the small of my back.

Everyone pretends not to look at us as we enter the marquee, but from the sudden eruption of over-loud conversation I know they've been listening to every word exchanged outside.

'Mate,' Nate yells to his brother, 'what happened to the music?' He's smiling, and Matt looks sheepish.

'Jack broke a guitar string when he tried to sing.'

The bass player, Jack obviously, begins to protest loudly, but Nate just laughs. 'So fix it!' he calls, and, at his request, the band strikes up a song, an old ballad from the eighties.

'Um…' Nate looks unusually nervous and bites his lips; my eyes are drawn to them and I begin to blush. 'So… would you…' He indicates the dance floor and I think my heart stops and drops somewhere below my stomach. I nod silently, mainly because I don't really think I can talk right now.

He takes my hand in his. His hand is surprisingly soft and smooth, and cold to touch. At least, that's what I blame for the shivers suddenly running down my spine.

Around us couples are edging in closer together, holding each other close, swaying to the music. Nate blushes at this, and returns his hand to the small of my back.

I can't help but feel slightly light-headed as we sway silently to the music.

**Nate**

The first touch of her hand is pure agony. It leaves my entire body tingling and I lose the calm exterior I always try and hold around her as she shoots me an embarrassed smile. My knees turn weak. If Liam knew about how I was feeling right now, I would know no end to the teasing. But she's so beautiful, and I can hardly believe that she's here, her hand clutched tight in mine.

I place my hand awkwardly on the small of her back, and breathe deeply to control the involuntary shiver that courses through my body as she drapes her arm around my neck. We sway slowly to the music, a ruler's length apart, looking like fools among the snuggling couples around us.

I move in closer at the same time she does, and then suddenly we are way too close. My breath hitches in my throat, and when she glances up at me, her eyes wide, I know I am a dead man.

Her cheeks begin to flush pink as she glances away, both of us determined to stare at anything but each other. Despite the awkward closeness, neither of us pulls away – probably too worried in case we offend the other. She moves her head to rest on my chest; wisps of her hair blow up and tickle my chin. I close my eyes slowly.

'My uncle…' she starts, and my eyes snap open. She's still embarrassed by his intrusion.

'It doesn't matter,' I whisper dismissively, instinctively holding her slightly tighter. But I know that it really means so much more.

'Yes, it does matter.' She moves her head back so she can look me in the eyes. We stop dancing. 'I am a guest here, in fact, I really shouldn't be here – I'm not family or a close friend.' I open my mouth to contradict her but she hasn't finished. 'Yet, my uncle believes it's quite all right of him to interfere and ruin the spirit of a beautiful wedding.'

She drops her eyes and I take it as a cue to argue back. 'Bea and Rod want you here as much as they want anyone else, Vee.'

She smiles a small smile, her hand warm against the nape of my neck. We begin to dance again, our feet barely moving off the ground as we move slowly about in a circle. She seems to think about her words carefully, staring at my chest, before she looks back up at me again and whispers, 'Thank you.'

I shake my head emphatically. 'No, I think I have to thank you. I know you've played your part, not just for Liam, but also for James.'

She becomes very interested in looking at her feet and I can't see the expression on her face. She removes her arm from my neck and I want to grab them back, but she places them firmly on my chest, her eyes still downcast.

'You must know, Nate, that… that it was all for you. What Christian said…From what I can gather…' She trails off, leaving the unexplained unexplained. 'It made me hope that maybe you'd changed your mind.' She looks up at me hopefully, but I am lost for words. Can this really be happening? 'Please tell me. If your feelings have changed-' she laughs quietly at herself '- even if they haven't; I want you to know that I still love you.'

And then she waits.

She is so close I can feel her breath on my lips. But I am so shocked I can't seem to find the words to say anything. I open my mouth to speak, but I've taken a mere second too long. She takes my silence as rejection; her eyes widen and she covers her mouth with her hands. Her eyes betray how I have wounded her.

'I'm sorry,' she says bluntly, and then she runs.

**Vee**

I go to Cate, dancing with James, whispering in her ear that I'm leaving. She nods and seems ready to leave when she sees my face, pale and hurt, but I quickly say that she doesn't have to come with me. It's still quite early in the afternoon, and I can catch a bus back home. Or walk, even. It's not that far back. And it could help my swimming head.

I make sure I thank Bea and Rod quickly before I run out the door. They seem sad to let me go; I know Bea's holding something back, but I pretend not to hear her call my name.

I breathe in the fresh air, cooling my flushed cheeks and making my thoughts calm. Now that I'm not facing Nate anymore, I feel utterly stupid and on the verge of tears.

At first my pace is slow, but as I begin to go over things in my mind, blaming myself (why couldn't I have just left things as they were? They were going okay. I always do this – act too rashly and then where do I end up? In an unfamiliar country isolated from everything I've ever known) I begin to move faster, trying to rid my head of these horrible thoughts.

By the time I reach home there is the oh-too-familiar lump starting to rise in my throat; I want to bite it down. I grit my teeth and pace the room, willing the hot tears in the backs of my eyes to stay where they are. My mind is spinning so fast I feel dizzy.

I start to get out some ingredients to bake something, to get my head thinking about something else, but I can't think of what to make, so I put them back.

I sit down, and then get back up again.

I start to pull on my swimmers, only to realise that the pool is dirty, and instead pull on one of my summer dresses one that Cate insisted on me buying from a cute vintage shop.

And then I sit at my desk and stare to nothingness. I've decided there's no way I can escape my thoughts; I have to meet them head-on. My art diary pokes out from under the numerous papers at my desk. I pick it up and flick through, seeing my self-portraits, portraits of Patty and Greg, drawings of animals and plants, landscapes…

I turn to the last page in the diary, the only one that's still blank and white, and pick up a pencil. I think this has been the only time where I've been out of inspiration – my head is so full of Nate and my stupidity nothing else can fit in. My fingers shake as my hand glides over the paper, the pencil making a thin, fine line.

Anything can come from a thin line. An image comes to mind of Nate, his hand only barely touching mine, walking down the road at Pemberly. I can't help the tears now, and they spring forward, as a stinging sensation fizzes at the back of my nose.

I try to take in a deep breath, but it comes out in uneven gasps. I close my eyes for a second, feeling the tears clutter in my lashes. I open them again, feeling the dewy wetness over my eyes.

Then I start sketching again. My hand moves fast. I don't really care about the quality of this anymore. A tear falls, and I move quickly enough so it splashes the skirt of my dress, missing my drawing by a millimetre.

With one last line I finish. I look carefully at the finished result. Some basic, shaky lines can be seen, but it the lines that aren't there is what makes up the picture. I always go by the mantra that less is more, and what I have left purposely unfinished can be decided by the imagination. A couple, hand in hand, walking down a curved road.

A tear drops from my eye, catching on my hot cheek.

A knock rings through the house. I don't want to get it. Not in the state I'm in. Wearily I get out of the chair, with one final glance at the sketch. I scrunch in and chuck it in the bin. Whoever it is at the door knocks again and I start walking down the stairs. It could be Cate. I make my way to the door.

I peer into the peephole and see Nate, looking intently at the door, waiting for it to open. I feel the lump in my throat start to rise again. I turn away from the door, and slump against it. Tears fall unrestrained down my face. I slide down to the floor as I hear him knock again.

'Vee?' My eyes flutter closed. 'Vee, please?' A single sob escapes me and I clasp both hands over my mouth, my eyes widening with shock.

'Vee?' He sounds worried. And then, realising what I've just thought, I dismiss it. He doesn't care – he never did and he never will. I know that these thoughts are irrational, but in the state I'm in it can't be helped.

He groans and rests his head on the frame of the door. I can see his shadow playing out on the marble floor in front of me.

'I'll come back,' he says, and his shadow disappears.

I stand shakily, and then run quickly up the stairs back to my room. I look through the window and see his back as he walks down the pathway. He turns around to look back at the house and I shrink back into the shadows.

My panic begins to dissipate as I watch him walk away from me. Now I can think rationally. Why would he come back? The Bennets' car still isn't in the driveway; he must have walked, or else someone may have dropped him off. But it still doesn't make any sense. Why would he want to come? Because he is so noble he has to come and apologise for not liking me? Hardly likely.

The phone rings, making me jump. I let it ring through, not wanting to speak to anyone right now. The answering machine picks it up.

'Hey, babe, it's me. I just want to say that I love you. And I trust you. But sometimes, you have to go out there and give it a go, babe. You can't just stand and let things pass you by; they might not necessarily come back.' There is a laugh, made tinny and shrill by the machine. 'Try it; you might like it.'

The machine beeps as Greg hangs up. _Try it; you might like it._ I leap down the stairs without pausing to over-analyse, jumping steps two at a time, and wrench the door open. There, in front of me, stands Nate, hand poised, about to knock on the door.

He opens his mouth, but I shake my head ever so slightly, and move away from the doorway, still looking into his eyes. A cool wind blows into the house. Impulsively almost, he steps into the house. I let the door shut behind him.

He moves in closer, so close I can feel his warm breath on my cheek. I should feel nervous, scared, anything, but all I can think is that maybe I misunderstood him. I stare at his chest, as he brings his hand up to brush my cheek. I look slowly up at him, my breathing becoming low and soft as he slowly leans towards me.

Our lips meet, soft and sweet. He pulls me gently closer to him, and I slide my hands behind his neck. He breaks the kiss to move his lips to my ear, sending tingles down my spine.

'My feelings have changed,' he whispers, and I grin, redirecting his mouth so I can kiss him again.

**Matt**

Vee ended up staying for the whole term in Cate's house. Cate wanted to stay too – she maintained that Vee would be lonely and sad without anyone else in the house with her – but it was too late for her to change schools again. Besides, Nate was over there a lot to keep her company.

My Dad was the happiest man on the earth. He had something to boast about to his friends, especially since Vee came over so often. Everyone was shocked when Nate came waltzing into the lounge room after Rod and Bea's wedding, beaming from ear to ear. He didn't say why, and even with our persistent questions he wouldn't say. He didn't even tell James.

We ended up having a family meeting about it. It was unnatural for him to be so happy, was the general consensus, which Nate wasn't too happy about when he walked in on us, having arrived home at entirely the wrong time.

'What, do I have to have a reason for being happy? Can't I just be happy?'

I don't think I was the only one who worked it. I'm pretty sure Mum worked it out before any of us, but then again, she knows us so well I wouldn't be surprised if she knows all our secrets.

He eventually let us out of our snooping misery a month into term, on a day that Bea and Rod visited us. We were drinking in the back yard, celebrating the fact that it was now warm enough for shorts and barbeques in the sun.

'So, I've got something to tell you all,' he said when he had finally gained everyone's attention. Everyone was silent then, all wanting to know the Big News. But I had guessed already, and I had guessed right.

'Right, well I know that you've all exhausted yourselves with the possibilities for why I'm so happy at the moment. I bet some of you have probably worked it out already, so I thought I'd just come out with it. I'm in love.'

Chatter erupted immediately. Bea and Rod exclaimed and whooped with joy; they were the only ones that knew who she was.

'No seriously guys,' he said after Liam exclaimed that Nate didn't have a heart big enough to love. 'I'm as in love with her as James is in love with Cate and as much as Matt is in love with,' he paused and winked at me, making my blood turn to ice, 'his guitar.' I let out a sigh of relief.

'So who's the girl then?' Dad said eagerly.

'You know her,' Nate said wearily.

'Come on, just get on with it,' Tim said impatiently.

'It's Vee,' I said, exactly the same time as he did. He smiled at me and his eyes promised me he wouldn't let out my secret, just as I hadn't let out his. He knew, as I knew, that our secrets were our own, and that we each had to tell people in our own time.

There was an uproar of shock and confusion. No one understood why he would love a girl that everyone knew to be horrible. He looked at Mum first, as if asking for permission. She smiled at him.

'Well, we've all thought her to be an uncivil sort of a person but it can't be true since she makes you so happy.'

Nate beamed at her, his face almost splitting in two.

'Now go!' Mum said waving him away after he had given her a bear hug. 'She's waiting for you I'm sure.'

And as he ran off Dad said one of the very few things that has made me think of him as an actual human being: 'Well, I don't doubt that it's been the first time any of you surprised us, and I definitely don't think it'll be the last,' and the glance he threw in my direction as he said this made me feel better about any of the confessions I had to make to myself and the confessions I eventually had to make to my family.

And then life went on. Vee left just before Christmas, a year after she had first arrived in Australia. Nate was going to follow her after New Year with Cate and James, taking a year off together so they could travel the world.

Liam and Tim didn't stop their 'social activities', even though they had started their first senior year and I had given up my own social life for good scores in the HSC. Bea and Rod lived happily together, and they had a child a couple of years after we all finished school; they named him Robbie.

Chris and Jacinta didn't stay together for very long. She fell in love with a dramatic New Age photographer and moved to Paris with him, away from the watchful eye of Christian, who she no longer admired. Chris bought the house from her and kept the café. It was doing better than most, and all his regulars became his friends. He became 'good friends' – a direct quote from him – with Evie, Vee's cousin, and we weren't surprised when they sent us all invitations for the wedding.

So everything turned out the way it should've – happily.


End file.
